The Mocking Moon
by newmoonaholic
Summary: Things go from bad to worse for Bella when the Forks Police Dept. becomes involved with a sadistic Charlie. Can the Cullens save her? Or will someone pay the ultimate price? AH canon couples Rated M for Abuse/Rape/Violence
1. The Beginning of the End of My Life

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own a warped idea and frazzled nerves.**

**WARNING: This story has M worthy depictions of abuse and rape. **

**Summary: Things go from bad to worse for Bella when the Forks Police Dept. becomes involved with a sadistic Charlie. Can the Cullens save her? Or will someone pay the ultimate price? AH Rated M**

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**_The Mocking Moon_**

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End of My Life

It was a typical rain soaked evening in the small Pacific Northwest town my family lived in. My mom and I were heading home, chatting animatedly about the softball game we had just witnessed. My dad's team, the "First Responders" (which was made up of policemen, firemen and EMS guys) had just crushed the team from the local logging company, the "Chainsaw Massacre", 21-4. We talked and laughed about the mud filled contest, and how mom was going to insist on dad being hosed off in the driveway so he didn't track mud all over the house.

Our jovial conversation was ended abruptly with my mom's sudden sharp intake of breath. I looked up quickly and was horrified to see a semi truck hauling enormous logs barreling toward us out of control. Its locked tires were desperately trying to find traction on the slippery road as its trailer began to swing out and into our lane.

"Bella! Hang on!"

Those were the last words I ever heard my mother say. Her scream was followed by the screeching of tires, a flash of headlights, and then . . . blackness.

*******

As my brain started to break through the fog that it was trapped in, I became more aware of the noises around me. I could hear a soft beeping noise that seemed to be keeping rhythm with the throbbing in my head. And somewhere, a little further away, I could hear a hushed conversation. There was panic in what I recognized as my father's voice.

"Chief Swan? I'm Dr. Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen. Could you please tell me what's going on with my wife?"

"I'm very sorry Chief Swan. We used every resource this hospital can provide, but her injuries were too severe. Please find comfort in the fact that she did not feel any pain. It was very quick."

"NO! Not Renee! Oh no, no, no… Wait! What about Bella?"

"Isabella's side of the car did not sustain the full brunt of the impact, but she did break her left ankle and left forearm. She also broke three ribs on her left side and has a moderate concussion. Having said all that, she's fighting and she seems strong. And even though it will take some time before she's up and around, I see no reason, at this time, why she shouldn't make a full recovery."

"Thank you, Doctor. Could I have a minute alone please?"

"Of course. Take all the time you need. I'll be back a little later to check on Isabella."

As the door clicked shut I heard what sounded like a body crumpling to the floor and then the soft, grief stricken sobs of my father.

"Renee… Oh my sweet Renee…Why? Why you? Why did you have to leave me all alone…"

That was the first and last time I had ever heard my father cry.

I didn't realize I was crying too until I felt the warm wet tears rolling down my cheeks. It was slowly sinking in. My mom was gone. Our own personal ray of sunshine was gone.

*******

Dr. Cullen released me from the hospital to attend my mother's funeral on the condition I went in a wheelchair and return as soon as it was over. The service was simple. The church was filled with the brightest flowers the florist could find, and everyone seemed to have a happy memory of my mom to share. She was well loved by the people here and her sudden death had shaken them. There were a lot of tears and some laughter too. I was sure my mom would have been pleased with it, but my dad seemed very determined to make it through without showing any emotion at all. He was, and still is, the Police Chief of our sleepy little town, and he seemed to feel that any display of emotion might cause the town to lose faith in him somehow. It seems so ridiculous to me now. Would anyone really expect him to just be fine with the sudden death of his wife? But back then I just blindly trusted in him and did my best to follow his lead. He was my hero.

My dad tenderly held my one good hand throughout the service, and kissed me gently on the forehead before the nurses took me back to my room in the hospital. It was a kindness that had not been uncommon at that time in my life. We had been a happy family. We loved each other deeply and after my mom died I thought I could rely on my dad's strength to get me through. But sometimes the Fates are cruel. I was only twelve. What did I know about life? My parents were everything to me. I had no idea that the day my mom died, my dad died as well. I will always treasure the memory of the kindness that my dad showed me the day of the funeral, because I have to believe that the man who I've lived with ever since is not my father. I have to believe it to stay sane. My dad died that day, and "Charlie" took his place.

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**A/N: ****This is my very first stab at writing FF, so please don't rip me apart and burn the pieces. ;)**

**A big thank you to CatMasters for encouraging me to jump off this particular cliff. If you are not reading her story Darkest Before the Dawn, I have good news... It's not too late for you. Go check it out! It's amazing! Oh...and then come back for Chapter 2. It will be up very soon. :****)**


	2. Downward Spiral

**Disclaimer: SM is the queen of the Twilight universe. I am but a humble servant.**

**WARNING: The story contains M worthy depictions of abuse and rape.**

**A/N: Hang on tight! It's getting dark in here!**

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Chapter 2: Downward Spiral

It was about six weeks into my recovery that our life began to take an irreversible new direction. Charlie had become more and more distant. He wouldn't look at me anymore, and if I tried to speak he would begin yelling about how he "couldn't think with all the noise" and he "needed peace and quiet." I was hurting and I needed my dad, but I understood that he was hurting too. So I decided I would just do my best to help however I could.

I managed to stay out of Charlie's way pretty good for a few days, but on his day off there was only so much I could do. I still had a brace on both my arm and ankle, which only compounded the problem that I was naturally, shall we say, balance challenged? Gravity and I had never been the best of friends, but on this day he would prove a vicious enemy.

Charlie was sitting in our little kitchen reading the morning paper. I was a little more than shocked when I noticed that instead of his usual coffee, he was actually drinking a beer. I looked at the clock on the microwave thinking that I must have overslept, but 7:23am was glowing right back at me.

"Would you like me to make you some breakfast, Dad?" I asked quietly.

"Mmm."

Mmm. That was his response. Not as in 'Mmm, yummy', but 'Mmm' as in 'I'm going to grunt something at you so I don't have to speak to you.'

I got straight to work making some eggs and sausage. I had started to do the majority of the cooking as soon as I was able to get around well enough. Charlie wasn't much of a cook and I was getting pretty sick of pizza and Chinese take-out (which was all we seemed to live on after the casseroles stopped coming about a month ago.) I put the eggs, sausage and a couple slices of toast on a plate and turned to set it in front of Charlie. When I turned, my ankle brace got caught on the edge of a cabinet door and I began to stumble. As I fell forward the plate hit the table rather hard in front of Charlie. The eggs, sausage and toast all shifted forward, although only a little bit of egg actually fell off. But when the plate hit the table it knocked over Charlie's beer, and as I was steadying myself on the back of a chair I suddenly felt a sharp stinging on my right cheek.

"YOU STUPID KLUTZ! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! CLEAN IT UP! NOW!"

I began to blink against the tears that where filling my eyes. I was in shock, and a little dizzy. Did my father just hit me? I had never been hit before in my life! Did he just yell at me? It was an accident! He'd never acted this way before.

I shook my head in an attempt to clear my surprise and quickly grabbed a towel to wipe up the spill.

"Now go get me another beer, and then get the hell out of my face! I don't want to see you again until you are handing me lunch!" He ordered angrily.

I quickly did what he asked and headed for the stairs. When I got to my room, I quietly closed the door and then collapsed on my bed. The tears began to flow freely now as I rubbed my sore and swelling cheek.

After that day, Charlie began slapping me and pushing me into things whenever I did anything that remotely displeased him. And since I couldn't seem to do anything right in his eyes, I got slapped and pushed a lot. The violence in our home slowly but steadily increased as time went on. Charlie was fairly careful not to hit me in the face during the school year and I got pretty good at hiding my injuries. It may have been a terrible routine but at least I knew what to expect, and that was oddly comforting.

Unfortunately Charlie must have gotten bored, because on my fourteenth birthday he decided to make a change…

Charlie had already been gone when I got up for school, which was actually the best birthday gift I could get. It meant my stomach would be settled enough to eat breakfast and I wouldn't be distracted by the pain of a fresh bruise during classes. All in all, my day went pretty smooth. The most I could hope for at school was to blend into the background and amazingly I managed to achieve it that day. It didn't even rain on me as I walked home. I did my homework, a couple loads of laundry and even had the time to lose myself in one of my favorite books for a while. My thoughts turned a bit gloomy as I began Charlie's dinner though. I'm not sure if it's because I knew he would be home soon or because I couldn't shake the feeling that my day had been just a little bit _too_ good. Like the cosmos was playing a dirty trick on me and it would all come crashing down.

I set the table and waited quietly, listening for the cruiser to pull up and all too soon it did just that. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and began to dish the lasagna onto Charlie's plate which already held salad and a breadstick. I set the plate on the table the same instant the door banged opened loudly, something that I had become quite good at coordinating, and turned to see if it was Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde walking through the door tonight.

"Happy birthday, Isabella." He sneered calmly. I felt instantly terrified as I realized that tonight he was Mr. Hyde pretending to be Dr. Jekyll, the most dangerous form of all.

I could smell the alcohol as he stalked forward and shoved a crudely wrapped box towards me. He had gotten me a gift? I couldn't make sense of what was happening. His eyes were as cold as stone and yet alive with anticipation as I timidly reached out and took the gift muttering a very quiet "thank you" in the process. My hands trembled as I fumbled with the paper, finally freeing the box. I opened the box and stared at the contents completely confused. My confusion only increasing with the cold words of Mr. Hyde.

"Always so greedy."

I was trying desperately to understand what was happening. I knew there had to be an answer but I couldn't get my mind to compute it. I just looked at him dumbly until I felt myself being pulled by the arm towards the side of the stairs. I was paralyzed with fear as he pulled my arms above my head and cuffed me to the stair railing so high that only my toes touched the floor.

"Let me show you how to use your gift, Isabella. Oh the fun we will have." His calm voice sent shivers up my spine as I saw him reach into the box and pull out the man's belt. He folded it in half and pulled it sharply, the two sides slamming together with a loud snap. The sound of that snap instantly cleared my mind of confusion and my eyes quickly filled with tears over the realization of what was going to happen.

"You will count, Isabella. Aloud so that I can hear you. One for every year you have cursed my life."

The next snap I heard was followed by a sharp pain across my back. It was the worst pain I had ever felt and the shock of it caused me to cry out, breaking one of Charlie's main rules. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back roughly.

"You will be silent except for the count! If you cannot do as you are told then I will not stop until you are no longer conscious! Do I make myself clear?"

I tried to nod but he was holding my hair so tightly that I couldn't move my head, so I gave a very meek "Yes, Sir. One, Sir." which seemed to appease him. He let go of my hair and coiled his arm back for a second strike, and then another, and another.

"Two, Sir."

"Th-three, Sir."

"F-f-four…"

The pain was unreal and my voice became increasingly shaky as the torture continued. By the time he reached nine my body had lost all strength and was now just dangling by the handcuffs; the pain in my wrists being overshadowed only by the pain in my back. At eleven he began to aim lower, ensuring that I would think of him every time I sat down in the near future. I was sobbing uncontrollably by this point and it took everything I had to say the count clearly enough to be accepted by him. Symbolic of the last two years that we had been without my mom, he seemed to put as much force as possible in the last two strokes, actually grunting with the effort.

"Fourt-t-teen." I stuttered out, convulsing with pain and sobs.

I heard a click and crumpled to the floor as my hands were released. I couldn't move, and I didn't want to. I wanted to die. Whatever hope I had been clinging to in my life was now gone. I could almost feel the fissure in my heart from when my mom died crack further open causing my soul to leak out a little more.

In the distance I heard the scraping of a chair on the kitchen floor and Charlie's order to join him. Was he serious? How was I supposed to join him for dinner?

"Isabella? Now!" I could hear the menace in his voice and knowing that my body couldn't take any more from him tonight I began to make an effort to stand. It was slow and excruciating, but I finally managed to get my feet under me and unsteadily make my way to the table. He watched with sick amusement as I gingerly took my seat, expelling small whimpers as my battered backside came in contact with the wooden chair. It was as if my back had been set on fire. He ate quietly, smiling to himself with delight every time he heard the small grunts, whimpers or labored breaths I couldn't help but make whenever I had to move. My stomach rolled with nausea, but I'm not sure if it was caused by the pain or the sick pleasure Charlie was getting out of what he did to me.

I have never been so grateful for a football game in all my life as I was that night when it finally pulled Charlie's attention away from me. He was on his fourth beer and well on his way to passing out when I finished cleaning the kitchen and headed up to my room for the night. The shock of the evening events began to wear off as I laid on my stomach, releasing a torrent of emotion into my pillow. My life had once again found a new plateau of horrible, and once again I would wake up in the morning having no idea what to expect.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think. Next chapter up soon! :)**


	3. Understanding

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight charcters. I own this angsty little world that they are currently being subjected to.**

**WARNING: This story contains M worthy depictions of abuse and rape.**

**A/N: It's still dark in here, but flashlights are being issued for chapter 4, so hang in there. :)**

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Chapter 3: Understanding

In the few months following that fateful birthday, Charlie made extensive use of my "gift". In fact, I was never even allowed enough time in between beatings to heal properly. The days of constant pain had worn me down, and I had withdrawn even more into myself. I rarely ate the small portion of food that Charlie would allow, and I found it hard to sleep through the pain, so I awoke day after day without having had an adequate amount of sleep. I was losing weight and had deep, dark circles under my eyes, but as long as my chores were done, none of it mattered to Charlie. I actually think he liked it, because if someone was actually kind enough to express some concern about my corpse-like appearance then Charlie had something to blame me for and an excuse to hit me again.

One evening that winter we went to dinner at Charlie's friend Billy's house. Billy lived on the neighboring reservation with his son Jacob. Jacob was just a little younger than me, but we always got along really well. He was always such a happy person, and I liked him very much. While we were eating, Jacob began noticing that I wasn't so much eating, as I was pushing my food around my plate.

"What's the matter Bella? Our 'man' style of cooking not up to your standards?"

I looked up to see his huge goofy grin and knew instantly that he was kidding. I half smiled back.

"It's great. Of course. I just don't seem to have much of an appetite tonight. I'm sorry." I replied quietly, trying and apparently failing to not draw attention to myself.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Billy suddenly asked me, his deep voice full of genuine concern.

"Yes, thank you. I'm fine." I said, giving Billy what I hoped was a convincing enough smile for him to forget about me and return to the fishing reel debate he had been having with Charlie. But Billy just hummed his response and continued to stare at me as if trying to decipher some sort of puzzle, causing my stomach to begin to flutter with nerves under the weight of his stare. I dropped my gaze to my plate and closed my eyes for a moment, silently willing Billy to let it go. Charlie hated it when anyone paid any attention me, and I did not want to look up and see the anger that I was sure was building in his eyes. But this was just not my night, and my heart sank further as Billy began to speak again.

"You carry yourself on the inside too much, just like your father." He said thoughtfully. "My wish for you, young Bella, is that you search within yourself for the piece of sunshine I know your mother planted in you somewhere. She was someone who could fill a whole room with instant joy. She was wonderful."

That was it. I was doomed. The mention of my mother was like a death sentence to a prisoner. Charlie had made it quite clear in the two years since my mom had died that he wished I had been the one that died instead. Too many times he had forced me to feel the same, just as I was sure he would do again later tonight. I had about an hour and a half to steel myself for the inevitable punishment that waited for me at home.

Dinner mercifully ended a short time later. I gave both Billy and Charlie a fresh beer as they settled in to watch the second half of the Sonics' game, and then went to help Jacob with the dishes.

"I'll wash, you dry?" Jacob asked cheerfully. I nodded and he tossed me a dishtowel.

We finished the dishes without much conversation. He tried to talk a few times but I was too afraid that Charlie would hear us and I didn't need him accusing me of distracting him from the game, so I just gave quiet one word answers or said nothing at all. Jacob didn't seem put off by it; instead he seemed content to just do whatever he thought made me happy. I was grateful he didn't push it.

As I put the last dish in the cupboard Jacob grabbed my hand and told me he wanted to show me something. I followed him out to his garage where he proudly held out his hand and trumpeted a royal "Ta-Da!"

I looked around but didn't really know what he was talking about so I looked at him apologetically and shrugged. Jacob seemed undisturbed by my lack of observation and went on to pat the hood of a very old, run down looking red Volkswagen Rabbit.

"Well… What do you think?" He asked, his face lighting up like Christmas tree.

"About what?" I responded lamely.

"About my car? I'm rebuilding it and I hope to have it done by the time I get my license. Pretty cool, huh? I know it's a couple of years away, but when it's done, I want you to be the first person to ride in it. What do you say?"

His enthusiasm was infectious and I couldn't help the small smile that played on my lips. Jacob was the closest thing I had to a friend. His presence was always very soothing to me. He was like a binding on the open wound in my heart.

"Of course, Jacob. I'd be honored." I said quietly, afraid that anything more would show too much emotion.

"Sweet!" I had to smile at his innocent and overly enthusiastic response.

My smile faltered though, and I sighed as my thoughts turned to what I would have to endure to be around by the time he finished his car. Dejectedly, I turned to head back to the house to wait for Charlie to be done. But as I turned, I felt something very warm grab my hand and pull me back. Jacob had grabbed my hand and was turning me to face him. Without releasing my hand once I had turned, he used his other hand to gently cup my chin and force me to look at him.

"Are you ok, Bella?" His words were spoken fervently and his eyes showed concern beyond their young years. I struggled to fight back the panic. I couldn't let him see the shame I carried. Not trusting my voice, I nodded slightly against his hand.

"Are you sure? I'm worried about you. You look so tired." His concern ran so deep it nearly broke my resolve. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't ok, and that I needed his help. I wanted one night of peace with no fear. I wanted to stay with him and have him hold me and tell me everything would be alright. I struggled with what to say to him, and he patiently waited for me to organize my thoughts. Maybe this was my chance. My chance to end the nightmare and be safe. I looked into the serenity of his eyes, opened my mouth and then heard the nightmare beckon me back.

"ISABELLA!" Charlie bellowed from the porch. I stiffened instantly and fell back into despair. There would be no reprieve for me tonight.

"I'm fine Jacob. Thank you for your concern." I whispered knowing my voice would give me away.

I watched Jacob as he processed the last few minutes. His concern changed to confusion. He looked toward Charlie and back to me and his look turned angry, but then he settled back on concern.

"I'm always here for you." He said earnestly.

"ISABELLA!" I flinched and Jacob held me tighter.

"Please Jacob. I have to go." I begged. He looked at me with an almost palpable pain in his eyes. And then he sighed, nodded and let me go.

"I'm sorry." I offered quickly before turning to hurry back to the house. I glanced back over my shoulder and what I saw would haunt me. Jacob looked as though he was sending me off to die. His face fell and his eyes flashed with such pain that it hurt my chest to witness it. That was when I knew that I couldn't see Jacob anymore. This sweet boy and I were on different planes of being. He had no clue as to the horrors of my life, and if I had my way, he would never know. He just didn't belong in my life, no matter how much I selfishly wanted him there, and I would not allow him to be harmed by me and my messed up existence. Jacob had to be protected and I could give him that much.

Charlie glared at me as I hurried back to the house. He just pointed towards the car and I knew it was going to be bad. I quickly thanked Billy and then slid into the cruiser.

My hands began to tremble in the car on the way home. Charlie only stared out the windshield. I could feel the waves of fury rippling off his body. It's not as though he ever talked to me anyway, but on nights like these the silence was even harder to bear. He parked his police cruiser in the usual spot and then ordered me up to my room. As I reached the top of the stairs I heard the familiar sound of "my" belt being removed from the hook where it was kept near the kitchen. Charlie gave it a very prominent place in the house. Whether that was for intimidating me or easy access, I didn't know. Probably both. I tried to steady myself as I heard Charlie's boots tromp heavily up the stairs.

When my door opened, I looked up to see a nearly purple faced Charlie. I responded quickly to his familiar order of "get ready" by lying face down on my bed. It was so hard to not curl up into a ball in a vain attempt to try and protect myself, but extremely painful past experience taught me that lying flat like he wanted was the best of my non-existent options. As he stalked slowly toward me he did something unusual… he began to scream at me.

"HOW DARE YOU OFFEND MY FRIEND BY NOT EATING THE FOOD HE SO GENEROUSLY PREPARED FOR YOU!"

The first lash of the belt seared across my back. I bit my lip, so as not to cry out.

"YOUR MOTHER WOULD NEVER HAVE BEHAVED IN SUCH A DISGRACEFUL MANNER!"

With a crack, the second lash landed. My eyes pricked with tears as my hands clutched around handfuls of my purple sheets.

"YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE HER!"

Crack!

"SHE WAS WARM! AND KIND! AND WONDERFUL!"

Crack!

"YOU ARE WORTHLESS!

Crack!

"HUMAN WASTE INFLICTED UPON ME AS SOME SORT OF TORTURE!"

Crack!

"IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH TO THINK THAT YOU LIVED AND SHE DIDN'T!"

Crack!

"YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING I GIVE YOU AND MORE!"

Crack!

"YOU ARE NOTHING! AND NO ONE WILL EVER WANT YOU!"

Crack! Crack! Crack…

I lost count before he finally stopped, stomped out of my room and down the stairs where I heard him hang up the belt and open the refrigerator. At the pop of the beer can I knew it was over.

I rolled carefully onto my side and pulled my knees into my chest. The pain from my welt ridden back was nearly unbearable. As I released the sobs inside, I was gripped with a new understanding. Charlie hated me because I was nothing like my mom. She balanced him out. He needed the light that she provided and I could not replace it. I was too much like _him_, as Billy had said. Charlie drank to avoid himself, but I was like a mirror image of him that he could not escape. I even looked like him. Same brown eyes and same brown hair. Even mom used to call me her "Little Charlie" when I was younger. I never stood a chance. Charlie rarely said anything as to why he was beating me, so I was almost always left to try to figure out what I had done wrong on my own. And now I knew. I had done nothing. I was simply born with personality and looks more like my father's than my mother's. That was it. My big crime. The tears now flowed even harder as a new awareness hit… If I had done nothing wrong, then there was nothing I could do to fix it. It was never going to end.

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**A/N: Before anyone gets too excited (one way or the other), this is NOT a Jacob/Bella story. So I'd like to thank Jacob for stopping by, but Edward can take it from here. ;)**

**Oh, and I'd appreciate some thoughts...I know you have them. :)**


	4. Lucky Me

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own a dog recovering from luxating patella surgery.**

**A/N: Just when I thought the comma and I could ride off into the sunset together and enjoy our love... timeaovergain stepped up to the Beta plate and put an end to our romance. My thanks to her, and I am now in therapy to help me with my comma separation anxiety.**

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Chapter 4: Lucky Me

My life, for the next couple of years, was pretty simple: cook for Charlie, clean for Charlie, get beat by Charlie, and oh yeah, go to school. School equaled the seventh circle of Hell as far as I was concerned. After my mom died, I began to withdraw. Everyone seemed very understanding of this at first. "Perfectly natural after losing a parent." I would overhear teachers saying. "She just needs time." But when it only seemed to get _worse_ with time they just wrote me off as a lost cause and tried to deal with me as little as possible. I don't think it was a lack of concern so much as a lack of knowing what to do. My childhood best friends, Jessica and Angela, stuck with me a little longer than the teachers, but eventually they gave up too. I never had the courage to tell them what was really going on with me. Maybe if I had, things would be different (at school at least). But I didn't. So here I was, getting ready to begin my junior year of high school by repeating to myself over and over my annual prayer (I don't really know what else to call it) that I could, for once in my life, be completely invisible at school. It never worked, but I had to try.

It was times like these that I missed Jacob. He's the only person that made me feel like I was worth something since my mom died. I haven't seen him since that fateful spaghetti dinner nearly two years ago. I don't know what happened, but Charlie never took me back. It's probably just as well, for Jake's sake. It would be selfish of me to bask in his happy nature, but be unable to give anything in return.

I spent this past summer working in a sporting goods store just outside of town. Charlie had made me get the job so I could get him a discount on his fishing gear. He couldn't care less that I knew absolutely nothing about sporting equipment. I did, however, make sure I learned everything I could about fishing gear when I accidentally brought Charlie the wrong gage of fishing line after my first day of work. The next day I had to get him a new rod after his "accidentally" broke over my back.

About a week before school was to start, I began to wonder if my invisibility prayer was finally going to work. I was cleaning up the golf ball display that someone had knocked over for the seventh time today, when I overheard two boys from my school talking in the next isle over.

"Did you hear about the Cullen kids?" A boy named Eric asked.

"No. What about 'em?" The boy named Mike questioned back.

"They're going to start attending Forks High this year." Eric answered.

"No Way!" Mike exclaimed. "What changed?"

"Don't know. But if you ask me, they're all just a bunch of freaks! I don't care how much money they have." Eric spit back.

"You said it!" Mike agreed.

_What a couple of jerks, _I thought to myself. But I also couldn't help being a little relieved at the tone of their conversation. The Cullens. Not one, not two, but five! Five kids that I only hoped could create such a spectacle that I could finally fade mercifully into the background.

I didn't know the Cullen kids. I probably wouldn't know one of them if they walked into the store right now. Dr. Cullen was the only one I had ever met, and I didn't like to think about those times. All I knew about the kids was what I heard Charlie saying into the phone one day when he was talking to one of the other officers. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen had three children. The oldest, a boy, was a year older than me. And then they had twins, a girl and a boy, that were my age. A few years ago, they took in a couple of foster children that had previously lived in some kind of home for troubled kids. They were a brother and sister and apparently the brother had some sort of behavioral problems that wouldn't allow him to go to school. The others all decided to do home schooling as well, to show their support for him. I thought it was nice, and I became saddened and a more than a little jealous of a family that cared so much for one another. But I also had to admit that when it came to being tortured at school, I was taking on a bit of a "better them than me" attitude. I knew it was wrong, and I hated myself for it. But they had each other… who did I have?

Mike and Eric began heading in my direction so I ducked down the next isle hoping to avoid them. They had apparently seen me, however, because as they walked past the display I had just rebuilt, Eric pulled a box off the bottom, causing the whole thing to tumble back down.

"See ya in school, loser." Eric laughed as Mike high fived him.

The two boys continued to laugh as they walked out the door. There really wasn't much I could do since Mike's parents owned the store, so I did the only I could... I sighed and began rebuild number eight.

**********

I woke up the morning of the first day of school, and for the first time in years I was cautiously optimistic. I'm sure everything will come crashing down on me eventually, but for now I just wanted to enjoy it. This past week had actually not been so bad. First, I found out that the Cullens were going to start attending school, which gave me the hope that I would no longer be everyone's favorite thing to gawk at. And second, Charlie has been busy with a big case at work (a string of robberies or something, I don't really care) which meant that he was hardly ever home. Consequently, I would be starting school today without having had Charlie's customary "good luck" beating. In fact, it had been an amazing two weeks since my last major punishment. So with the exception of a few lingering bruises in their final stages of healing, I was feeling pretty good.

I pulled into the school parking lot a little early and cut the engine on my decrepit old truck. Charlie had bought it for me so that I could run his errands. When he gave me the keys he decided that the proper way for me to show my gratitude would be for me to not eat for three days. My stomach lurched at the memory and I shook my head quickly to try and clear it away. I looked up, noticing that the lot was about half full now with all the familiar beat up forms of transportation when suddenly, something completely out of place caught my eye. A new shiny silver Volvo. It must belong to the Cullens. No one else in this backward town could afford such a car. I decided if they were here, then it was probably safe for me to go in. So I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and left the safety of my truck.

I walked into my first period English class and immediately searched for a seat in the back. I spotted the perfect location in the back corner and began to make my way towards it. As I approached my refuge I heard someone cough something that sounded and awful lot like "freak". I felt my stomach drop and my face flush red as I sat down, mentally chastising myself for allowing that small sliver of hope to creep in. I looked up to see Jessica (my former friend) receiving congratulations from Lauren (her snotty new best friend) on the first of surely hundreds of insults to be flung my way this year. I was a fool to think anything might change. Angela was also sitting with them. She looked at me almost apologetically before her attention became monopolized by Jessica. I never stopped liking Angela. Even though she never talked to me, at least she never joined in with the others to torment me. She's the only one who gave me what I wanted…nothing.

I did my best to get through the rest of the day as I settled in for yet another year of snide comments, bumps in the hall and books being knocked from my grasp. It was lunchtime now so I carefully negotiated my way towards the cafeteria for my usual "grab and go", because if I ever dared to eat in there I would inevitably end up with someone else's lunch trying to blend in with my wardrobe. Along the way I couldn't help but pick up bits and pieces of conversations and quickly realized that they all must be buzzing about the Cullens.

"Did you see the size of the oldest brother? He's HUGE!"

"The blond girl is gorgeous! I'd like to take her to _my_ 'home for troubled teens', if you know what I mean."

"The tiny dark haired girl was bouncing around like she'd had a whole box of caffeine pills."

"The blond boy looks like he wants to tear someone's head off!"

"The youngest brother is so HOT! I'm so gonna invite him to the party this weekend."

I recognized the last voice as Lauren's. Her lustful tone was disgusting. She and rich boy probably deserved each other.

I had almost made it through the gauntlet of students in the hallway. I could see the doors of the cafeteria just a few feet away and I quickened my pace. I was just starting to reach for the door when I suddenly felt the burden in my arms disappear.

"OOPS! I'm sorry." I heard Mike say, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He then started laughing and headed into the cafeteria. I saw Angela begin to move like she was going to help me, but Jessica shot a glare at her. Angela glanced remorsefully at me before lowering her head and following the crowd to lunch.

I wasn't surprised. After all, it's happened countless times before. I was, however, more than surprised by what happened next.

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**A/N: Big thanks to CatMasters for pre-reading and general awesomeness! **

**And thanks to you for reading. I'd love to hear what's buzzin' around in that brain of yours. Hit the button and let me know. :)**


	5. Alice and Edward

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own a recalled Toyota, but I'm starting to wonder if the ability to slow down is over-rated. ;)**

**WARNING: This story contains M worthy depictions of Abuse/Rape/Violence**

**A/N: Thanks to CatMasters for pre-reading and hounding me till I got it right. LOL. And thanks to timeaovergain for making sure that I crossed all my T's and dotted all my I's.**

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Chapter 5: Alice and Edward

I stood quietly off to the side trying to hide my red cheeks while I waited for the hallway of laughing students to empty. Once they were finally gone I looked around for my books which, of course, had been kicked and scattered. My history book was the closest so I retrieved it first. I then turned to find my biology book and was startled by a small girl suddenly standing in front of me. She was a little bit shorter than me and had short, spiky black hair that seemed to explode in every direction. Her skin was a beautiful pale cream color and she had the most gorgeous shade of green eyes that I had ever seen. She also had my biology book.

"They should _not_ have done that to you. I'm sorry." Her voice was high and musical. It would have been soothing if it had not been so full of energy.

"It's ok. They do it all the time. I'm sort of used to it." I said in a small voice.

"It's _not_ OK!" She said a little forcefully causing me to take a step back.

She seemed to sense my mistrust because she immediately softened the look on her face and slowly stepped forward to hand me my book. I cautiously reached out to take.

"Thank you." I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Anytime!" She trilled. "Oh, where are my manners? I'm Alice Cullen. It's so nice to meet you."

She confidently held out her small hand to me. I eyed it apprehensively, wondering if this was all just some sort of hidden camera practical joke. But when I looked at her I saw nothing but sincerity in her eyes, so I decided to take a chance. I hoped she didn't notice that my hand was shaking slightly as I placed it in hers.

"Isabella Swan. But I prefer Bella if that's ok."

"Of course it's ok, Silly! It's _your_ name isn't it? I'm so happy to meet you Bella! I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

With that she scooped up my French book and handed it to me before skipping lightly towards the cafeteria. She pulled the door open and looked back at me.

"Aren't you coming?" She asked expectantly.

"Um… I'm not very hungry." I half mumbled.

"Oh, ok. But tomorrow you totally have to sit with me! See ya!"

I stared after her in disbelief for a moment, touched by her kindness, as she disappeared through the door. With lunch a lost cause for today I began wandering towards the science building. I couldn't help my slight state of shock as I tried to process what had just happened. She was nice to me. No one was ever nice to me. The most I ever hoped for was to be ignored. By the time I took my seat in the still empty classroom I had managed to convince myself that it was only because she was new and didn't know me. I was sure that someone would get to her and by tomorrow she'd be just like everyone else.

I decided to try and put it out of my mind as the class started to fill. It was not surprising that once everyone was settled I was the only one without a partner. They thought they were being cruel, but actually it was the greatest gift they could give me.

While I reached into my backpack to get out some notepaper and a pen I heard some of the girls begin to whisper and giggle. It didn't sound the same as when they ridiculed me so I decided to look up and see what all the fuss was about. That's when I saw him.

I felt my lungs take in a sharp breath as my eyes took in the boy in front of me. He was tall and well built, not too big but perfect for his frame. His hair was the most peculiar shade of bronze and he wore it tousled in a messy-on-purpose kind of way. His face looked more like it belonged on a magazine cover than on some boy in this outdated high school. And when he looked up I noticed he owned the second pair of emerald eyes that I had seen today. Only his were even more beautiful, if that was possible.

I could feel my mouth hanging open a little and I quickly snapped it shut when I realized that the only seat left was right next to me. I began to panic. What was I going to do? I had trouble sitting next to anyone, let alone the most beautiful creature that I had ever seen. What was I thinking? Beautiful creature? I couldn't think like that! What good would it do? It's not like someone like him would ever give someone like me the time of day. I mean look at him? He's perfect and I'm just …well…me. Nothing special here…

I was so busy with my overactive internal monologue that I almost didn't notice the sound of the chair being pulled out next to me. I froze. I didn't know what to do, so I went with my old stand by and let my long hair fall over my shoulder to obscure my face. I began to concentrate on my breathing, which could stand to be slowed down a bit. With a little work, I was actually getting a grip on myself when the sound of the most smooth and silky voice that I had ever heard began to fill my ears.

"Hello." The voice said.

Was he talking to me? Impossible. My heart began to race with anxiety as I carefully peeked around my hair and accidentally looked straight into his smoldering green eyes. My eyes widened in fear and confusion as I suddenly felt stuck, unable to move from his intense gaze. Then he smiled. It was a little crooked, and the most exquisite thing I had ever seen. My heart began to race even faster, feeling as if it would explode if he did not release me soon.

Almost as if he could he read my mind he lifted his gaze to the front of the classroom for a moment. It wasn't much, but it gave me my escape and I quickly looked away.

"My name is Edward. Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"

I nodded. And then, as if I was having an out of body experience, I heard my own voice speaking.

"How did you know my name?" I heard my voice say. Was I actually speaking? Or was I finally having the mental breakdown I was always sure was somewhere in my future? But I must have spoken because I began to hear his velvet voice answering my question.

"My sister Alice. I believe you two met earlier? She described you to me, but I must say she did not do you justice."

He smiled again and I felt my insides go all gooey. Wait! Did he just infer that he thought I was…pretty? I felt so confused. I frantically searched his face and eyes for some kind of mocking, but just as before with his sister Alice, I found nothing but sincerity. At that point I felt my cheeks flush three shades of red and was saved by class being called to order. I dipped back behind my hair, feeling enormously grateful to Mr. Banner.

I tried, unsuccessfully, for the next hour to concentrate on anything but the boy next to me. And just when I didn't think I could take it anymore, the bell finally rang. I stood up quickly and hurried out the door, grateful that gravity had decided to give me a break for once.

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**A/N: I'd love to know what you're thinkin'. Thanks for reading! :)**


	6. Bella

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own an 11 minute mile (believe me...it's progress) and a wicked case of shin splints.**

**WARNING: This story contains M worthy depictions of Abuse/Rape/Violence**

_**A/N: SURPRISE!!!! I thought maybe y'all might like to know what Edward was thinking when he met Bella. This is EPOV of chapter 5. I hope you enjoy it!**_

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Chapter 6: Bella

**EPOV**

"Edward! Edward!" Alice chirped as she skipped toward me.

"What's up, Tiny?" I immediately regretted my inquiry as my very energetic sister launched into one of her famous one breath, warp speed rants…

"Oh Edward! I just met my new best friend! Her name is Bella Swan and she is so beautiful, with long chestnut hair and the most gorgeous chocolate drops for eyes! Some jerk knocked her books out of her hands and I helped her pick 'em up. I think she has biology next. Don't you have biology next? Maybe you'll be in the same class and you can meet her and…"

"Alice!" I interrupted feeling a little dizzy. "BREATHE! And anyway, how can you be best friends with someone you've known for a grand total of thirty seconds?"

Alice began to pout a little. "Aw Edward, don't spoil my fun! I'm excited! And I think you'll really like her too!"

"Okay, okay," I chuckled, holding my hands up in surrender. "I can't wait to meet your friend."

"Thank you Edward!" She said throwing her tiny arms around my neck.

Alice bounced into the seat next to me and I couldn't help but laugh at her endless energy as we ate our lunches. She babbled on and on about everyone and everything. She seems to know the names and backgrounds of nearly every person on campus, which is an applause-worthy feat since we've only been on campus for less than five hours. I tried my best to follow her from one topic to another but it was a little difficult when my siblings weren't here to dilute her enthusiasm. Emmett and Jasper were spending their lunch time trying to convince the football coach to let them on the team even though they missed the summer training camp. It's apparently a rule that you must attend the camp to be on the team, but watching the coach's eyes light up with glee as he took in Emmett's massive form makes me think they'll be suiting up next practice. Rosalie had first day of school jitters, so she decided to stay close to Emmett. The only other couple I've seen that rival Emmett and Rosalie's devotion to each other is Alice and Jasper, and as I try to tune back in to the incessant chattering going on next to me I decide that Jasper deserves a sainthood.

The fastest mouth in the west was cut off by the first bell ringing. I wished Alice luck for the rest of the day and set off towards my next class, which just so happened to be biology. I was a few feet away when Alice called me back to her. I turned and was immediately caught off guard. Her buoyant expression that had been present throughout lunch had changed to one of pain and concern. Immediately worried, I closed the distance between us quickly and was just about to ask her what was wrong when she spoke, her voice full of the same pain and concern that was in her eyes.

"Edward? When you do meet Bella… promise me you'll be careful? She's fragile."

"Okay, Alice." That was all the response I could manage. I wanted to question her, but the intensity of the emotion on her face removed all question and I suddenly felt a strange, and yet strongly protective urge for a girl I had never met.

Alice hopped up on her tip toes to look me square in the eye for a moment. She must have seen something that satisfied her because I saw the familiar bright light return to her eyes. She nodded once, smiled at me and then turned to dance her way to her next class.

I stood there dumbfounded for a moment. What a strange interaction we had just had. Snapped out of my stupor by the warning bell, I turned to head to the science building. I picked up my pace a little as what was confusion, suddenly turned into a burning curiosity to meet this girl that had already had such a profound impact on my intuitive little sister.

I walked into the classroom and over to the teacher to introduce myself. The class was already full of chattering students no doubt tying to get an eyeful of the new kid. I was already tired of the all the giggling girls who thought that they had anything to offer me that I actually wanted. Mr. Banner signed my new student form and directed me to the one open seat. I looked in the direction he indicated and saw that my seat was right next to the most unassumingly beautiful girl. She caught my eye for a moment and then quickly ducked her head. This had to be Bella. She matched Alice's description to a tee. I pulled out my chair and sat down hoping to talk to her for a moment before class started. I turned to look at her more closely but just as I did so she draped her long chestnut hair over her shoulder creating a barrier between us. I could sense that she felt a little awkward so I took a deep breath and decided to introduce myself.

"Hello." I said.

I wasn't sure that she heard me because she didn't move a first, but then ever so slowly she turned her head a little and peered out from behind her curtain of protective locks. My breath caught for a moment as I found myself staring into the most spectacular big brown eyes. Alice was right, they were like big pools of chocolate, and I instantly wanted to swim in them forever. But Alice was also right about something else. Her eyes, as gorgeous as they were, also betrayed her and I felt my heart begin to ache as I took in the depth of pain that hid behind them. I also saw how uncomfortable she felt as we stared at one another so I smiled. When that didn't seem to help much I looked away for a moment in an attempt to ease some tension before I continued with my introduction.

"My name is Edward. Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"

She nodded. It wasn't a big response, but it was something. It also seemed to be all I was going to get. A little dejected, I turned to get out my notepaper when I suddenly heard a tiny, unsteady voice beside me.

"How did you know my name?" She asked. My heart fluttered a little in response to the painfully sweet voice. I was so happy she was speaking that I quickly responded in the hope that I could hear that voice again.

"My sister Alice. I believe you two met earlier? She described you to me, but I must say she did not do you justice."

I smiled again as I watched her cheeks fill with color making her even more beautiful. Just then the class was called to order and she slammed her curtain of hair shut on me. As her hair slid forward it threw a tantalizing scent of strawberries at me. I breathed in deeply, not wanting to miss out on any of it.

Class droned on for what seemed like an eternity. Bella stayed hidden behind her hair and I tried desperately, albeit unsuccessfully, to think of ways to engage her again. I thought I would have a chance when the dismissal bell rang but as soon as it did so she jumped up and practically ran out of the classroom. I stared after her, trying to rationalize the irrational feeling I had to run after her, grab hold of her and never let her go.

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**A/N: This is Bella's story to tell, but POVs will change on occasion as the story demands. This, however, will be the only time that a POV repeats an entire scene. **

**Thanks to timeaovergain for thumbs-upping my grammar, and to CatMasters for putting up with me! ;)**

**Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought of Edward. **


	7. Shopping for Consequences

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own a refrigerator with baby trees in it (true story, don't ask. lol).**

**WARNING: This story contains M worthy depictions of Abuse/Rape/Violence**

**A/N: _Thanks to _timeaovergain_ for Beta'ing and _CatMasters_ for pre-reading. I'm grateful to have them both_. :)**

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Chapter 7: Shopping for Consequences 

**BPOV**

I never thought I would be relieved to go to gym class, but after biology I was just happy to be anywhere else. I couldn't even comprehend what had just happened. First Alice, and then Edward. Why were they acting as if they wanted anything to do with me? After all, I'm pretty sure the orientation packet has a whole section on reasons to stay away from me. They must not have read that part yet.

I assembled with my class in the gym for roll call. Since it was the first day we didn't have to dress. That special torture was reserved for tomorrow. I found a spot on the bleachers a little ways off from everyone else and pulled out my biology book. Thanks to my peculiar encounter with Edward, I hadn't heard one thing that Mr. Banner had said in class today so I thought I'd better try and figure out what we're supposed to be doing.

I was just beginning to scan chapter one when a dark blur flashed in front of me and settled down right next to me. I looked over to see Alice Cullen smiling at me like I was some kind of huge Christmas present.

"Hi Bella! Look! We have gym together! Isn't that so cool?" She all but exploded at me.

"Yeah. It's great. But you should probably stay away from me." I said quietly. I watched her face fall with devastating quickness and I realized that she must not have understood me.

"No, no." I amended quickly. "It's just that I'm not good at anything in gym and people that are around me tend to get hurt."

As quickly as it fell, her face lit back up like a Fourth of July firework.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'm pretty quick. I'll get out of the way. I'll even help you if you want."

"Really?" I asked, feeling surprised for the second time today by this stranger.

"Of course, Bella! What are friends for? Hey! I've got a great idea! Would you like to go shopping with me this weekend? There're some great sales and I could really use the company. No one in my family is willing to go with me, the big bunch of babies! You'd think that shopping with me was worse than being strapped to the rack and jabbed with hot pokers!"

I waited, stunned, until she ran out of breath. Just one. She said all that in just one breath. It was truly one of the most remarkable things I had ever seen. After taking a moment to sort out the spectacle before me, I decided I had better respond somehow.

"Well I've never been strapped to a rack or jabbed with hot pokers…" I started slowly. _Probably only because Charlie hadn't thought of it yet_, I mentally added and then cringed ever so slightly at the same thought… "but shopping with you doesn't seem like such a bad thing."

"So you'll go with me?" She asked, bouncing up and down.

"I'm sorry but I can't. I have to work this weekend." _And Charlie would never let me go in a million years_. "Maybe some other time?"

"Oh all right." She pouted. "But promise me you'll call if something changes ok?"

I promised, and she gave me a slip of paper with her cell phone number on it. She flittered off to go talk to the coach for a moment and as I watched her go I was struck by the strangeness of what had just occurred. I had just had a conversation with someone that didn't result in my total humiliation, and wondered if I should dare hope that maybe I had actually found a friend. Time would tell. All I knew was that I had to be careful when it came to hope, because hope was right up there with gravity on my own personal public enemies list.

*0*0*0*

As the week went on, Alice stayed true to her word. She confidently and competently fended off every ball, puck and shuttlecock that came my way. And what was even more amazing than that is that she either completely ignored the comments and stares she received for sticking next to me, or she glared back at them with such ferocity that they backed off. It was such an odd feeling to not be on the receiving end of such a look, and as the days passed people eventually just ignored us. I told her I wasn't worth ostracizing herself over, but she just leveled me with a look that said 'that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard' and I never mentioned it again. Normally I would have cowered away from such a look, but this time it actually made me feel warm inside.

Alice kept asking me to join her and her family for lunch but I just wasn't ready for that yet. It was hard enough trying to avoid Edward for an hour every day during class, the thought of sitting next to him with nothing to demand our attention away was terrifying. So far I had survived by taking more notes than I ever had in my life. I discovered that he wouldn't try to talk to me if I looked busy, so I made it a point to be _very_ busy. I think he suspected my evasion though. I noticed several times a class he would turn to me and try to speak, but when I continued to scrawl in my notebook with renewed intensity he would sigh and back off. Truth be told, I didn't even know what I was writing half the time. His very presence was so distracting. I could feel his warmth, hear his steady breathing, and even smell his intoxicating scent. It was sweet and musky, like the desert after rain. This had to be one of the most confusing weeks of my life.

Thanks to Alice, by the time Friday rolled around I was actually starting to feel like maybe I could let a little slice of hope slip in. Maybe I already had and I didn't notice. I did know that the thought of not seeing Alice for the next two days made me sad. It had been years since I had a friend and as strange as it seems, I think that's exactly what she is. I think she snuck into my heart when I wasn't looking. And as scary as that seems, I liked it.

*0*0*0*

I had been at work on Sunday morning for about an hour when Mrs. Newton, the store owner, asked me if I minded taking the rest of my shift off since business was so slow. I told her I didn't mind in the least and set about gathering my things. When I pulled my truck keys out of my pocket a little slip of paper fell out onto the floor, and I recognized it instantly as I bent to pick it up. I definitely did not want to go home, but could I really consider this? Could I take this chance? If I was going to do this I had to decide quickly, either before Mrs. Newton wondered why I was still here or before my nerves got the better of me. Realizing that a punishment for _something_ was inevitable anyway, I decided that I was going to give it a shot. I just had to be really careful. I walked to the payphone in the employee break room and with shaking fingers and a fluttering stomach I dialed the number on the paper.

"Hello?" A little bird voice chirped.

"Alice? It's Bella."

"Bella! Oh my gosh! Is it really you? Did you change your mind? Can you go shopping with me?"

"Yes Alice, I'd like to go. But I have to be back by 4:30 sharp and I need you to pick me up at work if that's ok." I really hoped I wasn't being too demanding, but I didn't have a choice. If this was going to work I couldn't give Charlie any clues as to what I was doing.

"We'll be there in ten minutes! OOOOO!" She squealed. "This is going to be so much fun!"

After she hung up, a new wave of panic hit. Did she say _we'll_ pick you up? Who is _we_?

I don't even think it had been ten minutes when the silver Volvo pulled into the parking lot. I looked to see that Edward was driving and my stomach started doing back-flips. As if sneaking around behind Charlie's back didn't have my heart pounding as it was, Edward's rapid approach had me feeling slightly dizzy. I then noticed Alice and had to laugh a little to myself. She was literally hanging out the passenger side window waving at me like a crazy person. When the car stopped she popped out and opened the back door for me.

"Hi Bella! Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's go before I change my mind."

I hopped in the back and as if a weight had been lifted I smiled to myself and realized that maybe my nerves weren't on edge because of Edward. Maybe they were on edge because I was experiencing a totally new sensation. Freedom.

The trip to the mall a few towns over was a lot quicker than I thought it would be. Partly because Alice didn't stop talking once, which eased some of the palpable tension between Edward and me, and partly because once we got on the highway Edward hit the gas and I tightened my seat belt and gripped the handle for dear life. I wasn't used to speed. My truck couldn't do more than 55 mph if I wanted it to stay in one piece, and Charlie never drove above the very low speed limit in town. I saw Edward steal a glance in the rearview mirror at me and then smile that devastating crooked smile causing my heart to give the speeding car a run for its money. Thankfully we pulled into the mall parking lot and I quickly fumbled with my seatbelt and jumped out as soon the car was parked.

As I attempted to collect myself my line of sight was suddenly filled with Alice's excited smile.

"C'mon Bella! Let's get goin'. So many stores, so little time!" She laughed.

I watched as Alice literally twirled through the mall entrance and into the first store. I was so caught up in her display of pure joy that I didn't even realize I was smiling.

"You should do that more often." Edward said, startling me.

"Do What?" I meekly replied.

"Smile. It very much suits you, and I love to see it." He said while delivering his own clinic on amazing smiles.

I could feel the blood beginning to creep into my cheeks so I tried look away, but Edward caught my chin in his hand trapping my face towards him. I flinched slightly at the unexpected shock of his touch, but then began to experience the oddest sensation. It was a warm, tingling sensation, almost like a low electric current, that spread from my chin slowly throughout my entire body. This new feeling would have had me rooted in place on its own, but he had also managed to lock eyes with me and the intensity of his gaze had the gooey feeling returning as well.

"Please don't be embarrassed." His eyes pleaded with me along with his words. "You have a beautiful smile, and I'm selfish enough to want to see it as much as possible. And please promise me that you will stop avoiding me at school. I like you, Bella. I won't hurt you."

My head was spinning. He was a relative stranger to me and yet I believed every word that passed through his amazing lips. I didn't quite understand how he could like me, but I really did feel safe with him. I hadn't really felt safe in almost five years, but there was a truthfulness in his eyes that I could not deny. I struggled desperately for something to say in return, something that would release me from the intensity of the moment and yet I also wanted to live in it forever. I could feel my cheeks get even darker and my heart flutter unevenly. I clenched my hands into fists to try and hide the slight tremor that was beginning to overtake them.

"I p-promise." I nearly whispered.

"That's all I can ask." He sighed, releasing his grip on me.

I could still feel the warmth on my chin where he had touched me, but everywhere else felt instantly empty. And as my chin began to cool I was suddenly gripped with…loneliness? But I didn't really get lonely anymore. I stopped craving the company of people years ago, but the instant he broke our physical connection I wanted nothing more than to reconnect it. There were so many new emotions to deal with that there was only one thing that could possibly regain my attention… Alice.

"Bella, Bella, Bella!" She sang. "You will not believe all the adorable things that just came in the new shipment! Come on!"

I felt my smile return in spite of myself. Her enthusiasm was undeniably contagious. Edward was smiling again as well, only this time his smile was more a smile of satisfaction as his eyes tracked from his exuberant sister back to me.

For the next few hours I watched in awe as Alice dissected every square inch of the mall. She was like a little tiny tornado swirling though each store and sucking up enough to clothe the entire town of Forks. After she made me try on what seemed like the 347th outfit I was completely exhausted and begging for mercy.

"Alice, why do I have to try on so many outfits? I've already told you I can't buy anything today."

"Well, how else am I gonna know what styles and colors work best on you?" She said nonchalantly while handing me a dark blue halter-top cocktail dress. I just gaped at her.

"Alice. You know I'm really more of a jeans and hoodie girl." I said handing it back to her. Besides the fact that I would never need a cocktail dress, there was no way I could try that on for her. The back of it plunged down just low enough that I was sure it would reveal some of my scars.

"And you really see _no_ problem with that?" She asked in a half fascinated, half disgusted tone.

At this point Edward came to my rescue by suggesting we have lunch, but after an all too short stay in the foot court and a trip out to the car to drop off Alice's purchases, I was back as her dress up guinea pig. I was quickly beginning to understand her family's reluctance to shop with her. But even as I caught a look of pity in Edward's eyes as she pushed me into yet another fitting room with yet another armload of clothes, I felt happy. Tired yes, but happy. It was the first time in a long time that I felt relaxed, like I didn't have to look over my shoulder. Being with Alice and Edward made me feel safe, and it was definitely something I could get used to.

All too soon they were dropping me off at my truck. After a big hug from Alice and a promise to Edward that I would sit with them at lunch the next day I climbed in my truck and headed home. I felt calm. I had plenty of time to get home and get Charlie's dinner ready. I probably even had enough time to clean the house and finish up the last bit of homework that wasn't even due until Wednesday.

When I pulled into the driveway I saw Charlie's cruiser sitting in the usual spot. My heart sunk a little that he was home early, but I wasn't worried. After all, I wasn't expected home until now anyway. I quietly let myself in so I wouldn't disturb him and headed to the kitchen to start dinner. When I came around the corner I was met with a sharp blow to my right cheek. The pain was so intense that I felt my knees buckle and I slumped to the floor. I looked up just in time to see a purple faced Charlie grab me by the hair and yank me back to my feet. My stomach turned as the smell of alcohol hit my nose. He dragged me by my hair from the kitchen and threw me onto the bottom of the stairs. I couldn't help but yelp in pain as the edge of the wooden step collided with my back. He was standing over me now and all the earlier feelings of safety were gone.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?"

_He knew. How did he know? Crap!_

"Mrs. Newton didn't need me today so I went shopping." I answered quickly, deciding to stick to the minimum truth.

"LIAR! YOU WERE WITH A BOY YOU LITTLE WHORE!"

_Crap, crap, crap! How did he know? Oh right… stupid small town_.

"No, no, no…" I tried to defend myself through my increasing tears. "I went with Alice Cullen. Her brother Edward drove us, but that's all! I was with Alice!"

This information pulled him up a little short. Clearly he didn't know about Alice. I briefly thought he might back off. He took a step back and then a long pull from the beer in his hand. But when he looked back down at me I saw nothing but fury in his eyes and I felt my stomach drop. My fate had been sealed and I knew it was unavoidable. He reached over and grabbed "my" belt from its hook and turned back to me.

"Get upstairs! And get ready!"

* * *

**A/N: Should I hide? Do you hate me? I hope not.**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	8. Stripes and Polka Dots

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot and a very worn out stress ball.**

**A/N: Thanks to timeaovergain for making sure that the whole thing is intelligible. And thanks to CatMasters for pre-reading and helping me off the cliff. Big hugs!**

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Chapter 8: Stripes and Polka Dots

I woke up the next morning and hauled my stiff, sore body out of bed and slowly headed into the bathroom to assess the damage from last night's special father/daughter time. I gently pulled off my shirt and took in the familiar sight. Sixteen distinct purple stripes, raised and very tender adorned the fair skin on my back. I sighed and moved on. There wasn't anything I could do about my back so I set to work on trying to cover up the large bruise on my cheek. I managed to get the color more even but there wasn't much I could do about the swelling, so I decided that a big hoodie was in order today.

Mercifully, Charlie had left early this morning so I didn't have to see him. I was already a little late because of the extra time it took me to fix my face, so I just grabbed a granola bar and headed out the door.

I carefully climbed out of my truck and was heading across the parking lot towards my first class when I saw Alice bounding towards me. I tried to brace myself for her hug but was still caught off guard by the pain and a small traitorous gasp escaped my lips. She immediately let go and stepped back. Her eyes widened as she saw my swollen cheek for the first time.

"Bella? What happened to your face? Oh my gosh! Are you alright? Edward!" I could hear the increasing panic in her voice and I became desperate to cover it up before she could suspect anything. I could see Edward hurrying towards us, alarmed at his sister's tone of voice.

"What is it Alice?" He demanded.

"Look at her Edward! Look at her face! Who did this Bella? Who hurt you?"

I could see Edward's eyes grow big and then angry as he looked at my swollen cheek.

"No one hurt me Alice." I lied. "I tripped and fell last night when I was cleaning and bumped my face on the table." I searched her face for some sign that she was buying the load I was trying to sell her.

"Are you sure, Bella?" She asked me, but her eyes asked me something else…_Are you sure that's the story you want to go with?_

"Honest, Alice. I'm fine. It was an accident. Gravity just has it in for me." I tried to smile a little at my own joke while silently pleading that she would let it drop.

She seemed to decide that I was done explaining and changed the subject, although I had a strange feeling she wasn't so much dropping it as she was shelving it for another time.

"Well, if you're sure you're ok. We'd better get to class. Don't forget you promised to eat lunch with us today."

I told her I had not forgotten my promise and after she gave me one more skeptical look she bounced off to class.

"She doesn't believe you, you know." Edward said quietly.

"And what do you believe?" I asked him as I began to head for class.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. The tingle in my hand had my brain fogging over as he came around to face me, trapping me once again with his ardent gaze.

"Bella, I want to believe you. I want to believe that no one could ever hurt you. It's not something I can imagine doing, and quite honestly the thought of anyone laying a hand on you makes me murderously angry. So please Bella, look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Do that and I'll leave it alone. Do that, and I'll even try to convince Alice to drop it."

I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to protect me. I wanted to run away with him and never come back. I wanted to be free. I took a deep breath to steady myself and then I looked straight into his eyes.

"I fell down Edward. It was an accident. That's all." I lied more smoothly than I ever thought myself capable of, because as much as I wanted to tell him, I couldn't risk his safety. I also could never shake the memory of when I was thirteen and I tried to tell a teacher. Charlie used his impeccable reputation to convince the teacher and the principle that I was simply still upset about my mom and seeking attention. Later that night he locked me in the basement and left me there for two days with no light or food. It would be even worse for me now, so I had no choice but to keep quiet.

Edward took a deep breath, nodded, and turned for class. He didn't let go of my hand as we walked silently towards my English class. When we were almost to the door he stopped and backed me gently into the wall. My heart was pounding so hard that I was beginning to feel a little dizzy as he slowly lowered his face closer to mine. His lips ever so lightly brushed across my sore cheek before his forehead came to rest against mine, looking into my eyes as if he could see straight into my soul.

"I'm sorry you're hurt. Don't ever forget that I'm here if you need me."

We stared into each other's eyes for few more moments before he sighed and then turned to walk away, leaving his velvet voice lingering in my ears as his tantalizing scent filling my lungs.

I could feel heads turning and soft whispering as I clumsily made my way to my seat, but I didn't care. The warmth I felt in my chest was so soothing that I barely noticed the sting as I leaned into the chair back. My head was spinning in a euphoric mix of senses, and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to be near him again. To feel him, hear him, smell him. Based on the inventory of my current state there was only one conclusion I could draw… I think I'm falling for Edward Cullen.

It seems so crazy, and I'm not even sure I know what it feels like to fall for someone. But what's even crazier is…he seems to like me too.

*0*0*0*

I nervously waited outside the cafeteria for Edward and Alice. The lunch room was still a terrifying place for me even if I wasn't going to be alone.

"Hi Bella" Alice chimed, and then she began to take in my expression. "Aw Bella, you promised!"

"I know, I know. But Alice, I don't think I can do this. Any time I've ever tried to eat in there I've been 'accidentally' (I made quotation marks with my fingers to emphasize my point) spilled on and then laughed out the door."

"But that's not going to happen today." Edward's very confident sounding voice was suddenly behind me. I turned and to my astonishment there were three new people standing with him.

"Bella, this is my older brother Emmett." Edward waved his hand to his left indicating the huge person next to him. Emmett was not just tall, he was very muscular. He had short, curly dark hair, but instead of having green eyes like his siblings, his eyes were a very striking blue. He had a kind of intimidating look about him, but then he smiled. His smile was all dimples, and it made him seem like a big teddy bear. Then he spoke in the same confident tone that Edward had just used.

"You see, Bella, no one would dare try anything foolish with _me_ there or they will find out all too quickly what it's like to have the floor for lunch!" Emmett began to chuckle as if he was kidding, but I had a strange feeling he was not.

"Yes Emmett, we're all very impressed." Edward rolled his eyes at his brother before continuing his introductions. "And this is Rosalie and Jasper Hale."

Rosalie was drop dead gorgeous. She had long, flowing blonde hair that framed a too perfect face. And her body would be the envy of any super model. I was so intimidated just standing next to her that I had a hard time even looking at her. And her brother Jasper was no slouch himself. He was tall and lean with the same blond hair. He wore his a little long and curly. His features were strikingly handsome, but there was anger in his eyes that aged him. The look made me a little nervous, but somehow I knew it had nothing to do with me. This must be why he couldn't come to school until now. They both nodded towards me and offered a "hi" and a "hey".

"It's very nice to meet you all." I said shyly.

"OK. Now we've all met. Let's eat! I'm starving!" Emmett blurted out as he pushed towards the cafeteria door.

"Wow! Big shock there!" Jasper teased and they all began to laugh as they followed Emmett through the doors.

My heart was beginning an anxious flutter when I felt Edward's warm hand in mine. He looked down and winked at me.

"You ready?" He asked.

"As I'll ever be." I replied. I took a deep breath and allowed Edward to lead me in.

Once inside, as predicted, every head turned our way. A slight hush also fell over the room as we walked past the gawking student body. We had almost made it to the food line when I suddenly heard Jessica's voice a little too loudly to be subtle, as she talked to Lauren.

"Look at the little whore, all over him like that! Wow! I would have never thought Edward Cullen would be so hard up as to bang that little freak show!"

Her snickering laughter was quickly cut off by a rather loud THWACK sound. I turned and saw Jessica on the floor holding her nose as blood was dripping bright red dots all over her pale blue top. If that sight was not stunning enough, I looked to see the slight figure standing over her with a clenched fist.

"I don't ever want to hear you talk about my friend _or_ my brother like that again! Do you understand me?" Alice spit down at Jessica. "I can't hear you?"

Alice jerked forward as if to hit her again which in turn made Jessica flinch so hard she hit her head on the chair next to her. Laughter was slowly erupting as Jessica began nodding violently. Satisfied, Alice turned and walked calmly away.

"You'll pay for that you little tart!" Lauren spewed towards Alice's back.

Just then Emmett stepped forward cracking his knuckles. "Anybody that wants to rat out my little sister is going to have to go through me first. And I mean _anyone!_ "He announced, eyeing Jessica and Lauren with his second threat. There was suddenly a loud chorus of voices around the room saying variations of excuses like "she slipped" or "I didn't see anything!"

"That's what I thought." Emmett snorted at them before turning back towards me. "Now can we get some food? Please?"

I mouthed '_thank you'_ at him to which he replied with a wink and his dimpled smile.

"See." Edward then whispered in my ear. "Things are going to change. You don't have to be afraid anymore." I squeezed his hand firmly in silent gratitude before heading over to Alice who was being attended to by Rosalie.

"Alice, are you ok?" I asked.

"Sure Bella. My hand's a little sore but it was _totally_ worth it!" Her voice alive with excitement.

"Well… thank you. But you didn't need to do that. You could've gotten in trouble."

"Bella," She eyed me seriously, "I know we've only know each other a short time, but I already feel like you're a part of our family. And we protect our family."

I didn't know what to say. My eyes began to well with tears and all I could think to do was hug her, but I had forgotten about my back. She hugged me back and I winced in pain. She let go quickly and very sternly looked me in the eye.

"Isabella Swan. Tell me what is wrong with you." She demanded.

"Please Alice," I pleaded. "Not now. Let's just eat ok? We're going to run out of time."

"Ok. But this isn't over." She promised, quirking a perfect eyebrow at me.

I knew Alice wasn't done with me, but I just wanted to enjoy lunch with my new friends. We ate and we laughed. I didn't quite feel comfortable enough to contribute too much to the conversation, but I very much enjoyed the lighthearted banter that flowed so effortlessly around the table. It was the most normal thing I had done at school in years. And I loved it.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! :)**


	9. Bag Open, Cat Out

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things twilight. I own the plot and an overwhelming desire to slap Miley Cyrus. Just sayin'. ;)**

**A/N: Thanks, as always, to timeaovergain for fixing my mistakes. And to CatMasters for pre-reading and thinking I am "special". 8D**

**Ok. Here we go...**

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Chapter 9: Bag Open, Cat Out

**BPOV**

After lunch, Edward held my hand as we walked to biology and then whenever possible under our lab table during class. Whenever our eyes would meet he would melt me with my favorite smile, and I would reciprocate. I was grateful that we didn't seem to need a lot of words to have a relationship. For the first time in years I had friends, true friends. But as happy as I was, I knew that I was walking a dangerous path. The closer I got to Edward, Alice and the rest of the Cullen's, the harder it would be to keep my secret. And I had to keep my secret at all costs. Charlie would not only kill me, he would probably try to hurt the Cullen's too and I just couldn't bear that thought. They are innocent, loving people who have, for whatever reason, taken this lost cause into their circle and treated me like family. I would not allow them to suffer because of me. Edward walked me to gym class as these thoughts swirled in my head causing a small tear to leak out.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He asked, gently trapping my tear with his finger and wiping it away.

"Nothing. I'm just happy." I lied.

"Then that will be my life's mission. To see that you are happy, safe and loved." He sweetly vowed.

"I don't deserve you Edward. You're too good to me. I mean, we barely know each other." I said, as my cheeks began to stain.

"Don't be silly, Bella. You deserve nothing but the best, and I want to be the one to give it to you. And I know we've only known each other a few days, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. Like you were always there, only I just couldn't see you. Some missing piece that could make my life whole. It just feels right, Bella. Now you'd better get to class before I kidnap you and never let you go." He said with a playful menace in his voice.

Another tear leaked out at his unexpected declaration. Oh how I wished he _could_ steal me away. I would go in a heartbeat. As it was, I would go to class. He kissed my hand like a prince in a fairy tale and left me at the entrance to the girl's locker room. I stood, stunned, as I watched this perfect creature walk toward the history building. His gate was confident, yet carefree, and it mesmerized me. My mind was dangerously approaching overload as I tried to make sense of the last twenty-four hours. So much had happened, but surprisingly most of it was good. I mean, I could still feel the bad every time I moved, but for once it wasn't the most significant thing. In fact, it was almost just a side note to what was happening with Edward. He looks at me as if I'm normal. And I want so badly to be normal for him. Unfortunately that isn't the case and I now worry that I'm just setting myself up for a huge fall. If Charlie finds out, he will never let me see him again and that would be the worst punishment I could imagine.

The warning bell broke into my thoughts and I turned to enter the locker room. I walked in only to have the emotional high I had just experienced come crashing down at a shocking pace as I overheard Jessica and Lauren talking.

"So the Cullen's have adopted that little freak show as some kind of pet. How sweet." The venom in Jessica's voice made my stomach flutter.

"Don't worry Jessica," Lauren started with the same vicious tone. "We just need to bide our time. They won't get away with what they did to you. They'll pay. Especially the little dark haired one and that _stray_ _dog_ they have following them around now."

I hurried to the back corner not wanting them to see me. Crap! So much for not having to look over my shoulder anymore. And what's worse, now the Cullens are being targeted by those sadistic harpies! I had to warn Alice and Edward to stay away from me before I made their lives as miserable as mine was.

I waited until the locker room had cleared out before I began to get my gym clothes from my locker. I didn't want anyone to know I was here. Thanks to Charlie's extracurricular activities, I had to be extra careful when changing. I had just removed my shirt when I heard a gasp behind me. I spun quickly to see Alice standing there with shock on her face and tears welling in her eyes. Oh no! She saw!

"Bella? Your back! What? How? Who? When?" She stammered.

I had to do something quick.

"Alice? It's not as bad as it looks. Really, I'm fine. Please. You can't tell anyone!" I pleaded.

"W-Why?" She stuttered out, still in too much shock to speak.

"Because it will just make things worse. Please promise you won't tell!"

"N-no. Why did he do that?" I guess it wasn't too hard to figure out it was Charlie.

I shrugged. "No real reason, I guess. Charlie just didn't like a choice I made yesterday, that's all." I tried to be vague and just blow it off, but she caught on quickly and then she really started to cry.

"Oh Bella! It's because you went shopping with us yesterday wasn't it? How could I have been so blind? I knew you didn't think you should come, and I forced it on you. I'm so sorry!"

"Alice, stop." I put my arm around her shoulder. "You didn't _make_ me do anything! I went because I wanted to. I had a great time, and I don't regret it one bit. I knew what I was risking, but I didn't care. You and Edward are the best things that have happened to me since my mom died. I wouldn't trade our time together for anything in the world. I just have to be more careful, that's all." I was crying too by the time I was done.

"Please Alice" I pleaded again, panic escalating in my voice. "Please don't tell anyone, especially Edward. If Charlie finds out, he'll never let me see you again and I can't bear the thought of losing you and Edward. Please Alice, I'm begging you."

Alice took a deep breath and sighed. "It's against my better judgment, Bella, but I won't say anything…"

"Oh thank you Alice!"

"For now." She amended. Uh-oh. What did that mean? I raised one fear filled eyebrow at her and waited for her to explain.

"I promise I won't tell anyone, including my brother, but you need to promise me some things in return."

"Anything!" I said a little too quickly, hoping it would be promises I could keep.

"You need to come to my house and meet my parents. You don't have to tell them, but I want you to know there is a safe place for you. And then you need to promise that if you ever feel in danger again that you will call me so we can come get you. _And_ you need to promise me that you won't ever lie to me again. You shouldn't have to live like this, Bella. You shouldn't have to be afraid."

Her eyes were a combination of pain, compassion, sadness, anger and determination all at once. I knew this was the best offer I could hope for, and I had no choice but to accept. I nodded slowly, resigned that I would now have to also live in fear of Alice. Wondering if she would go back on her word or not. She now held the key to what could be quite literally my death.

"Good." She said. "We can go _now_. We've already missed some of class and that will give you time to get home before your dad. I'll just run out and tell coach that you're not feeling well and I'm going to take you home, that way the school won't call. Don't worry, Bella, we'll take care of you."

She pulled out her phone and tapped something quickly onto the keypad before running out to talk to coach. I barely had time to replace my shirt before she came back. We walked quickly to the parking lot where I was stunned to see Edward leaning against his Volvo. He looked at me with concern as he opened the car door for me.

"Are you ok? Alice texted you weren't feeling well." The sentiment in his voice was touching. He was truly concerned.

"I'm fine. It's nothing major." I shrugged.

"Oh. All right then, if you're sure. Where to, ladies?" He asked in a regal tone.

"Home." Alice answered.

"Um, Alice? I'm all for ditching class, but do you really think that running home to Mom and Dad is the best idea?"

"It's ok, Edward. They're expecting us. They want to meet Bella. They know we're just helping her."

"Okay." He said slowly. "Home it is."

My stomach sank as he hit the accelerator.

*0*0*0*

Edward drove down a hidden private drive for what seemed like at least half a mile before pulling up to a massive and quite ornate set of iron gates. He clicked a remote and they swung open with impressive grandeur. We passed through and curved around to what could only be described as a mansion. I could feel my chin dropping but I didn't seem to have enough control to stop it.

"Wow!" I whispered almost reverently. "You guys live here?"

"Yeah," Edward said nonchalantly. "But it's no big deal. I want you to feel comfortable here, like it's your home too."

I didn't know what else to say so we climbed the steps to the gorgeous and obviously hand carved mahogany front doors in silence. Alice skipped past us and flung the doors open trilling out for her parents. My eyes widened as I saw that the entryway opened up into a huge curved marble staircase. I had never seen anything so fancy in all my life and felt even more insignificant as I glanced around at all their fine things. Alice returned then with her parents following behind. Dr. Cullen was just as I remembered him. He was a very handsome man with blond hair and blue eyes. Edward had his build, but Emmett got his eyes. His wife was also stunning. She had long caramel hair and the original pair of emerald eyes. My stomach began to turn as I remembered my true purpose for being here. I started to shake a little and Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Bella?" Alice said "These are my parents."

I stepped forward and offered my trembling hand.

"It's nice to see you again Dr. Cullen, and it's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen."

Dr. Cullen stepped forward and took my hand in a very firm yet comforting grip.

"It's lovely to see you again as well, Bella. And please, call me Carlisle."

"And please call me Esme." Mrs. Cullen said before wrapping me in a tender hug. The warmth of her maternal embrace was so sweet and comforting that I didn't care about the pain. It was the first time since my mom died that I had been hugged like that. And not wanting her to let go, I clung to her a little longer than I probably should have and she began to chuckle softly. Realizing what I had done I stepped back extremely embarrassed and also desperately hoping that my misstep wouldn't cause her to dislike me.

"I'm so sorry" I said in a small voice, too embarrassed to look up from the floor and expose the deep blush of my cheeks.

I felt a gentle, unfamiliar hand cup my chin and pull my head up, forcing me to look into new eyes.

"Don't ever be sorry for needing a hug, Bella." Esme said in a stern, but also loving way. "I want nothing more than for you to be comfortable in our home and for your needs to be met. Besides," she said lightening her tone, "I love to hug. I'm always up for one, just ask these guys…"

Edward and Alice both rolled their eyes in unison before Edward spoke.

"Seriously Bella, anytime you want to take the heat off one of us, be my guest."

Everyone chucked at the new light mood. Carlisle then asked if I would like him to examine me to determine why I didn't feel well. I politely declined, assuring him it really wasn't that bad. He nodded and then he and Esme excused themselves after making me promise I would not hesitate to ask if there was something I needed.

"Come on Bella!" Alice squealed "Let's go to my room!"

"You two have fun!" Edward called out as I was being drug up the stairs by Alice.

When we got to her room, Alice ordered me to sit on her rather large and extravagant bed to wait while she ran to get something. I did as I was told, sitting down as lightly as I could so as not to mess up her bedding. Her room was at least twice the size of mine and was decorated like something you would see in a design magazine. I had heard people lived like this, but I had never seen it for myself. Just then, she returned carrying a large square looking pad.

"Bella, I hope you don't mind. I got you an ice pack. I thought it might help." She said, her voice a little unsure.

Her thoughtfulness was so touching to me that I couldn't refuse.

"That's very thoughtful, Alice. Thank you." I replied quietly.

"It would probably be best if you took off your shirt. With fewer layers to penetrate, it will work quicker and that way we can save some time."

I knew she had already seen my injuries, but I wasn't sure I should let her see again. Seeing my hesitation, she walked over and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Its okay, Bella. I just want to help. Please trust me."

I took a deep breath, nodded, and slowly pulled up my shirt; wincing a little as my skin pulled. Alice indicated that I should lie down on her bed. I did so and she laid the ice pack as gently as she could on my tender back. I inhaled sharply at the sudden cold, but soon it felt soothing and I relaxed. I must have been more tired than I thought because as I rested in what was possibly the most comfortable bed in the world, I began to drift off to sleep.

*0*0*0*

I felt someone nudging my shoulder but my consciousness was returning too slowly, confusing and disorientating me. I didn't know where I was. All I knew was that I on a strange bed in an all too familiar position and someone else was in the room. My breathing began to become more erratic and sobs began to rip their way up my throat. I was exposed, and panicking. I didn't know what else to do, so I began to quietly plead with whomever it was that had placed me here.

"Please! Please don't hurt me. I'll do whatever you want, just please don't hurt me again."

"Bella! Bella wake up! It's just me, Alice. You're safe Bella. Please wake up!"

Her voice was like a lifeline that pulled me from the depths of drowning. My head began to clear and I jumped up quickly, pulling my shirt back on before turning to see the fear and sadness on my friend's face.

"Alice? What happened?"

"You fell asleep, but as you began to wake up you started to panic. Why would you think I would hurt you, Bella?" I could hear a little pain sneak into her voice towards the end.

"I'm sorry. I was confused. I guess I forgot where I was. All I knew is that I was on my stomach and someone else was here. I'm so sorry Alice. I didn't know it was you."

"Why would you be upset about being on your stomach?"

When I seemed reluctant to answer, she reminded me of my promise to never lie to her. Stupid promise, I knew I answered too quickly. I took a deep breath before answering. It felt weird talking about it.

"Because that's how he makes me lay when he…" I couldn't say it, but I didn't need to. I could see the understanding register on her face.

"Oh." She thought for a moment and then continued. "How many? I mean is there a set amount? I don't know how to say it. I'm sorry, Bella, I'm being too nosy."

"No, it's ok. I think I know what you mean. Sixteen. There's sixteen."

"Is that number significant?"

"It's because that's how old I am. My birthday is great day for him." I answered with a slight shudder.

She started to look a little green. I asked her if she was ok. She shook her head a little as she answered.

"That's sick. How could someone do that to their own flesh and blood?"

I sighed. The floodgates were open now, so I told her my theories about me being too much like _him_. I told her about my mom and how Charlie started drinking after she died. I told how Charlie had decided on my "birthday gift" when I was fourteen, and how my sixteenth birthday was the first time he made me remove my shirt to receive my punishment. That was also the first time my skin had split open without the thin layer of cotton to protect me, but I didn't tell her that part. She listened quietly, tears escaping her eyes from time to time.

We sat in silence for a few minutes after I finished. I didn't even begin to tell her everything. I didn't think I should. No one should have to live it with me. She seemed so deep in thought that I was surprised when she spoke. It was so soft that I almost couldn't hear her.

"You can never go back, Bella. You have to stay here. I can't send you back, please say you'll stay with us."

"Oh Alice, I wish I could, but I can't. He'll come and find me if I don't go home and then you and your family will be in danger too. I can't allow that. Don't worry, though, he's been real busy with work lately and my birthday isn't for a few more days. I'll be fine."

She looked me in the eye then, with a ferocity that was matched with her voice.

"You listen to me Isabella Swan. You _will_ abide by your promise. You _will_ call me if you feel _any_ threat whatsoever. You _will_ allow my family to protect you. If you can't do this than I will call my father in right now and explain why you need to be forcibly removed from your so-called home."

"I promise Alice. I will call if I think Charlie's going to hurt me again." She seemed satisfied, but I knew that what I was promising was practically impossible. I hardly ever had any warning and even if I did there was no way Charlie would let me get near the phone. But I had to promise, and then work even harder to hide the next time from my new friend. Because if there was anything I was sure of, it was that there would always be a next time.

There was a knock on the door, before Edward peeked in to tell us that Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were home from school and that Alice needed to stop monopolizing me. When I told them that today was my study hall day and that Charlie wouldn't be expecting me home for a couple more hours, they asked me to stay for an afternoon snack. Since I never wanted to leave it was easy to say yes. We headed downstairs and out onto the back porch where the others were already sprawled out on various comfortable looking pieces of furniture. They greeted me warmly as Esme entered with a tray full of sandwiches.

It was just as lunch had been, although that seemed so far away now. We talked and laughed. Emmett did his grizzly bear impression, which was actually pretty good, and Jasper told funny stories from his time at military school. The more I learned about this family, the more I wanted to be a part of it. This was quickly becoming one of the best days I had ever had. Some weight had been lifted from me today, and I began to rethink hope's place on my list of enemies.

* * *

**A/N: So Alice knows now. Did she do the right thing? We shall see... Thanks for reading! :) **


	10. The Thinking Place

**Disclaimer: SM is the queen of the Twilight universe. I am but a humble servant.**

**A/N: Thanks to timeaovergain for her beta skills. And to CatMasters for telling me to shut-up and post! ;)**

**Let's give poor Bella a break, shall we?**

* * *

Chapter 10: The Thinking Place

**BPOV**

I pulled into the parking lot the next morning and saw Edward and Alice standing by his Volvo. Alice was waving me over, so I got out of my truck and headed towards them. She was obviously irritated with my slow pace because she came running to meet me halfway, excitement exploding off of her.

"Bella! Bella! Guess What? Oh never-mind, you'll never guess… we're not going to school today! I talked to my dad last night…"

I could feel the blood drain from my face and my eyes widen with shock.

"You told?"

"Geez Bella, don't you trust me at all? Of course I didn't tell, but I didn't really lie either. Just listen. My dad called me into his study last night and started to ask about you. He was concerned because you looked like crap yesterday. Well…you did. Anyway, he asked if there was anything you needed and I suggested a week off from school. I told him you were always getting grief from the kids at school and the stress of it was messing with your sleep and eating habits. He said he should talk to your dad…oh calm down Bella, let me finish… I told him that you and your dad don't get along so good and he may not be inclined to authorize your absence, so my dad went into 'doctor mode' and said he could probably arrange to have you stay at our house during school times, without telling your dad. Then before I knew it he had talked himself into letting Edward and me stay with you so that you wouldn't have to be alone. So this morning he called the school and bada-bing… you're home with the stomach flu and Edward and I have food poisoning! Isn't it great?"

I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure what I had heard.

"So… I don't have to go to school?" I began slowly, trying to comprehend. "And I can stay at your house with you and Edward everyday for a week? And Charlie will never know?"

Alice was nodding furiously with a huge grin on her face, as Edward walked over calmly to stand next to me, taking my hand.

"Is the arrangement okay with you Bella?" He asked with slight reservation. I could tell he hoped I would agree, but I also knew that he would do just as I wanted if I didn't.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a huge breath of freedom. I opened my eyes, looked at the anticipation in their faces and said…

"Heck yes! What are we still doing here? Let's get going!"

*0*0*0*

As soon as we got through the front door Alice was pulling me up to her room.

"You don't mind giving us some girly time do you Edward?" She yelled back to him as we climbed the second tier.

"Nope. Just as long as I get some time with her later. Have fun Alice. Good luck Bella." He walked off chuckling.

"What does he mean? Alice? What are you going to do to me?"

"I just got some new products and I need someone to try them out on, that's all. Just relax. It'll be fun."

If this 'fun' was going to be anything like shopping 'fun' then I was in for it. She hauled me into her massive bathroom and flung me into a chair. She was buzzing around at a dizzying pace before she stopped suddenly, gave me a devilish grin, and then attacked.

I was primped, preened and other things I don't have words for. She went after my fingernails, toenails and eyebrows. My skin was scrubbed, polished and moisturized. She made the tisk' sound a lot. I don't think she approved of my grooming habits, but it's not like I had a lot of choice. If I was in the bathroom for more than ten minutes at a time there would be hell to pay.

Alice was very gentle with my sore cheek and avoided my back all together. We didn't talk about it, and I sensed she was trying to make things as normal as possible. Or at least as normal as an Alice makeover could be. No matter what she did to me though, my mind still kept wandering to Edward. He confused me so much, and suddenly I realized that maybe Alice could help me. I mean, she was in love with Jasper after all, so she must know the answer. My desire to understand overrode my anxiety, and so I quietly asked.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"Um…How do you know when you're in…love?"

I felt the hairbrush pause mid-stroke and looked up to see her staring at me with an almost smug, but quizzical expression on her face. I squirmed a little, regretting my inquiry instantly, but the hairbrush quickly resumed its ministrations and Alice's face settled into a smirk before she answered.

"Well, I think it's different for everyone. For me, it's the way I feel grounded and calm when I'm with Jazzy. We've known each other our whole lives, and he's always made me feel like he's the one thing that's holding me to the earth. It's like no matter where I am, I can feel his pull. His very soul calls to me and I need him like I need air to breathe."

I was too stunned to speak. Her words were amazing, but what had me stupefied was the look in her eyes as she spoke of Jasper. The love and devotion was clear and reverent. And I had seen it before…in a similar pair of green eyes. Blood pulsed loudly in my ears as my mind struggled to convince my heart that it must've misunderstood. There's no way Edward could feel anything remotely that strong towards me.

"Come on, Bella." Alice said, pulling me from my delirious imaginings. "We're almost finished."

With my make-up and hair done, she moved me into her bedroom where she began digging in her enormous closet. She emerged only moments later with arm loads of clothes, some of which looked suspiciously familiar from our shopping trip. She helped me get in and out of so many outfits I lost count, and just as I was beginning to think it would never end, she suddenly stepped back, slowly nodded in triumph and sighed.

"Oh Bella, you're beautiful. Look."

She turned me towards a floor length gilded mirror in the corner. I looked in and gasped. I had never seen myself all done up before.

"Is that…me?" I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My make-up was very natural looking, but highlighted the good parts of my face perfectly. She had pulled my hair back into a simple barrette, and I'm not sure how she did it, but it looked so shiny. The outfit she settled on was a pair of jeans (designer, of course) and a cobalt blue v-neck top.

"Oh, it's definitely you." I turned three shades of red as Edward's voice entered the room. "And I must say Alice, that blue top is amazing. A perfect color for a perfect girl."

"I know, right? She's magnificent! Now why don't you two run along so I can clean up? And don't even think about trying to help me, Bella. I insist. Go have fun with Edward." She said with a wink.

"You don't have to tell _me_ twice. C'mon Bella, I have something I want to show you." Edward said as he held his hand out to me.

I think I actually achieved a forth shade of red in my cheeks as I took his hand and allowed him to lead me from the room.

*0*0*0*

**EPOV**

The instant she took my hand I could feel warmth spreading through my body. She was so beautiful. And not just Alice's makeover, though I would have to thank her for that later. She herself, inside and out, was beautiful. And her blushing was so endearing that it too, made her even more beautiful. But I also knew that she was hiding something. Something that was causing her a lot of pain. I think Alice knows, but she's not giving anything up, which is so frustrating. Sometimes I wish I could read minds, it would make things so much easier. I can't protect her if I don't know what's wrong. I truly don't want to believe that someone could hurt her. It's almost beyond my comprehension. But if someone is, and I find out, that person will wish for death.

But none of that matters right now. I have Bella with me, and that's all that matters. I'm taking her to my favorite thinking spot and I hope she likes it. I hope it gives her the same peace it brings to me. I hope time will stop and I could have her near me forever.

We walked in silence. We never have a lot of words between us, and we don't seem to need them. Even though we haven't known each other very long, things between us just seem comfortable. I led her out the back of house and down a path into the woods. After a while we climbed a rock formation to the top. I helped her to her feet and heard her inhale sharply as she took in the view for the first time.

"It's amazing, Edward!" She whispered.

The peak of the rock formation overlooked a clearing that was filled with wildflowers. Beyond the meadow was a view of the mountains where a tall, narrow waterfall flowed serenely into the small lake below. It was a magnificent sight. I loved it.

"This is my thinking spot," I explained. "Where I come to relax. Do you like it?"

"It's perfect. Thank you for bringing me here." She said in a small voice.

We sat down and with some encouragement from me, she leaned into my chest. I couldn't help but notice a slight flinch when she first made contact, but then she made an adjustment and settled fully into me. It once again stirred uneasy feelings that there was something wrong, but the feel of her body against mine spun my mind in new directions. It was an indescribable feeling. I slowly wrapped my arms around her small frame as she laid her head on my arm. She sighed quietly. It was a sound of contentment that I fully shared. I never wanted to leave this spot. I wanted to hold her and protect her from whatever was causing her pain.

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her sweet scent. She turned to look up at me. There was such a yearning in her eyes to be safe and loved, as well as a silent plea for me to not hurt her, that my heart nearly broke from pain and exploded from love at the same time. I could feel an almost tangible pull to her. So much so that before I even realized what I was doing my face moved slowly towards hers. I watched carefully for some sign that I might be frightening her. Her breathing sped up but her expression was one of more quiet determination. I was so close now that I could feel her warm breath on my face. Gently, I placed my lips on hers. They seemed a little hesitant, but not resistant to mine. Her lips were so soft and full, and they bewitched me as their willing servant. We moved in perfect synchronicity, fitting together as if we had been made for one another.

After what seemed like an eternity, and yet also not nearly long enough we broke apart. It was chaste and sweet and perfect. She turned her face away, leaning her head back against my chest and I rested my cheek on the top of her head. We sat silently for a while, each of us lost in the magic that the meadow creates. But as much as I wish it could, our moment of pure joy could not fully erase my feelings of dread that she was in trouble.

"Please tell me what really happened to you." I pleaded quietly in her ear. She took a deep breath before she spoke just as quietly.

"Please, Edward, not now. For the first time in a long time I feel safe and at peace. I don't want to waste one second of it. Please just hold me."

I tightened my hold a bit and sighed. I would not push her, no matter how much it was killing me. Nothing was more important to me than her. And from this moment on, I knew that no matter the cost, I would never be able to refuse her anything.

**BPOV**

Laying in Edwards arms was the most surreal feeling. It has been so long since I felt secure, wanted and even loved. My head was still spinning a little from our kiss. He was so sweet and gentle. I couldn't imagine a more perfect first kiss. I was so glad it was Edward, and I knew I never wanted to kiss anyone else. Being here with the Cullen's made me feel like a real person and it became obvious to me the horrible state in which I existed. I was like a zombie. Wandering aimlessly through a pitiful existence of slavery, beatings, and humiliation. Being here, especially with Edward, I was becoming human. As happy as I felt though, I also realized that breaking down my defense was dangerous. The next time Charlie beat me; would it be worse because I finally knew what it felt like to be loved? Maybe it would be better. Maybe thoughts of Edward, Alice and their family would give me strength to help me endure. I hoped so. I shuddered a little as I also realized that I wouldn't have to wait too long to find out.

"Are you cold?" Edward asked. He must've felt my tremor. "We could go back."

"No. Not yet. Just a little longer. Please?"

"Of course." He kissed the top of my head, and I turned my face upward to once again invite him in. He smiled before leaning down to send me back to nirvana.

*0*0*0*

We stole away to this special place that Edward renamed 'our spot' as many times as we could during the week. Each time I was even more amazed at the view _and_ the company. We talked about many different things and our innocent kisses slowly began to evolve into more meaningful ones. I never wanted to leave. It was like this place was magic, and Edward was my own personal magician. He made everything here seem so real and my home-life feel like the illusion. When I was here, Charlie didn't exist. When I was here, I was alive.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you're thinkin'! :)**

**To help brighten her Friday, I'd like to give a shout out to my new friend from across the pond, _hev99_! *waves* Check out her story "Empty". It's intense and very well done. 8D**


	11. Highs and Lows

**Disclaimer: SM=Queen, Me=Servant**

**A/N: Thanks to _timeaovergain _for making sure I don't fall off the comma wagon. And to _CatMasters_ for pre-reading and general amazingness! :)**

**I was driving the other day and "Superman Tonight" by Bon Jovi came on the radio. If Edward wrote a song for Bella, this would probably be it.**

* * *

Chapter 11: Highs and Lows

**BPOV**

The rest of the week just got better and better as I spent my days in the company of this amazing family. I knew it was dangerous for me to get attached, but the feelings of warmth, safety and even love that I got when I was with them seemed almost addicting. I craved it like a drug at night when my harsh reality contrasted my fantasy filled days.

Even though I still refused an examination, Carlisle suspected (and I'm sure he was right) that malnutrition was part of my problem. So Esme took it upon herself to see that I had at least two healthy meals a day. She was a gifted cook and I gratefully ate more than my share. She watched me with loving satisfaction as my plate returned consistently clean. We happily chatted as I helped her with the dishes, just like I used to do with my own mom. And every morning Carlisle checked in to see if I was up to speed with all my schoolwork. One of his conditions of our excused hooky was that we spend a few hours a day on our homework. I listened as he patiently explained some of the biology work that I wasn't understanding. They were parents the way parents should be.

By Thursday, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had all managed to convince Carlisle that they too had "food poisoning". Esme, being a proud cook, was a little miffed at their chosen ailment, but calmed down when they told her they "must've contracted it at school" and she happily returned to the kitchen to make some snacks. With the whole gang home, it was even more fun. We watched movies, played games and watched Emmett turn purple and cry when Jasper dared him to eat a chili pepper. I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face. And as Edward kissed the tears from my cheeks, I was so consumed by him that I didn't notice the room go silent.

"Those are the only kind of tears I ever want to see on your beautiful face." He whispered in my ear.

I blushed and kissed him full on the lips. It was so easy now, so natural. Emmett's hooting caused our separation, and the shock on Rosalie and Jasper's faces caused us to return to our previous state of hysterics.

"Wow! We missed a lot this week!" Rosalie said, joining us in our laughter.

"Cheers, man!" Jasper said, raising his soda can toward Edward in a toast. "Way to go!"

Alice suggested yet another game that I had never heard of and we all fell right back into comfortable banter. Having now spent some time with Jasper and Rosalie I couldn't imagine what had caused their forced absence from school. They were a perfect fit in this loving family and they betrayed no behaviors that would suggest the opposite. Though I couldn't help but notice a strange, distant look that was sometimes present in one or both of their eyes. It seemed so out of place and confused me. I wanted to ask, but decided that as long as I was keeping secrets I had no right to ask for theirs.

*0*0*0*

There was a large lump in my throat as Edward and Alice returned me to my truck on Friday afternoon. The soreness in my back was gone, but the sense of dread hanging over me was nearly unbearable. It had been hard each day saying goodbye, but I knew I would see them the next morning. _Two_ days seemed like an intolerable eternity.

Alice hugged me first and gave me her customary whispered reminder of my promise in my ear. I nodded and she turned to give Edward and me a little privacy. He embraced me tightly and kissed me with desperate passion. He still didn't know what he was sending me home to, but he knew I didn't want to go and that was enough for him. All too soon the school bell rang, and we reluctantly broke apart knowing we would soon be besieged by an overexcited student body rushing home to enjoy their weekend. Our separation was too sudden, and I felt instantly cold. I tried to fight my rising sense of trepidation as I told them both that I would see them Monday and to please express my gratitude _again_ to their parents.

I climbed in my truck. The slam of the door separating me from Alice and Edward seemed so final, and the sorrow that had been threatening gripped me fully. I quickly drove off so that they wouldn't see the sobs that I could no longer control.

*0*0*0*

The weekend had drug on and on. I didn't have to work and Charlie had gone fishing, but I still didn't dare call Edward. Being chief of police, I wouldn't put it past Charlie to have our phone bugged or make regular checks of our phone records. I had no homework thanks to Carlisle's tutoring, and cleaning the house didn't take nearly as long as I had hoped. TV didn't really interest me, since I was never allowed to watch it anyway so I settled on reading. I grabbed one of my mom's old paperbacks that I kept hidden in my closet and read the rest of the days away, drifting seamlessly between written romance and real life memories…

.

"_Hey Bella!" Emmett boomed. "What movie do you wanna watch?"_

"_I'm sure anything you choose is fine." I said shyly, hoping to satisfy him and apparently failing._

"_No, no, no. You're the guest, and my ultimate hero for getting us all outta purgatory for a couple of days. Sooooo…What's it gonna be? The new 'Star Trek'? 'G.I. Joe'?"_

"_Emmett!" Came Rosalie's reproving voice. "I'm quite sure Bella doesn't want to sit through that mindless testosterone fueled dude fest! I swear my voice lowered an octave after you drug me to see that in the theaters! That is definitely a boy's only film."_

"_Maybe I liked your lower voice. All sultry and hot!" Emmett said, waggling his eyebrows._

"_Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Rosalie threw her hands up in exasperation, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile under her bluster._

"_Ok, Ok." Emmett chuckled, holding his hands out in surrender. "How about 'The Blind Side' then? Something for everybody? Bella?"_

"_Uh, yeah, I guess. What's it about?" Why did I have to open my stupid mouth?_

"_What's it about? You've never heard of 'The Blind Side'?" Emmett asked with wide eyes._

"_I'm sorry, no. Should I have?" I asked in a small voice, all the while wondering why I couldn't just shut up._

"_Should you have? Um, yeah. It was only one of the biggest movies in the last year, next to some girly vampire flick and 'Avatar'!" _

_If I hadn't been so confused as to what he was talking about I may have found his completely perplexed state amusing, but instead all I seemed to be able to do was stare at him blankly. While Emmett was too dumbfounded to speak, Jasper jumped in._

"_You know, Bella... 'Avatar'?" Jasper coaxed. "Blue dudes, other planets?"_

_I just shook my head as Emmett finally recovered._

"_How can you not know anything about movies? What's going on at your house? The Chief forcing you to live under a rock or something?"_

_I couldn't help the visible flinch at his words, and with five sets of very curious eyes on me I felt the panic flooding into my body._

"_I'm sorry, please excuse me." I managed to choke out as I fled the room, hearing Emmett's confused "What did I say?" followed by Rosalie's response of "Idiot!" _

_I needed air, so I headed as quickly as I could to the back porch. And as the cool air hit my face I inhaled desperately, not realizing that I had been holding my breath. I sat on one of the oversized chairs and pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head down on my knees. My cheeks blazed and I audibly groaned with embarrassment as I went over my blatant over-reaction in my mind. _

_I was so caught up in my mortification that I didn't hear the door open, causing me to squeak in surprise as Edward's warm hand gently cupped my chin and pulled my eyes up to meet his. He had squatted down in front of the chair so that our faces were level with one another._

"_I'm sorry I frightened you." He said, the worry in his eyes contradicting his soothing tone._

"_No. I'm sorry I ran out and if I made everyone mad. I ruin everything." My voice trailed off at the end, but his look of surprise told me he'd heard._

"_Bella, nobody's mad. And you don't ruin anything. Quite the contrary actually. You make everything better."_

_Now it was my turn to be perplexed, my expression causing him to laugh to himself._

"_I don't understand, Edward." I said quietly as my eyes began to sting with tears of confusion._

_Edward simply shook his head, a small amused smile playing on his lips._

"_Bella, you really don't see yourself very clearly. You are warm, thoughtful, sweet, and quite funny when you relax enough. How could anyone ever be mad you? And how could someone with all those attributes, and more, ever ruin anything?"_

_I couldn't stop the tears as they made their way silently down my cheeks. Edward, the most amazing person I had ever met, was sitting here contradicting everything Charlie taught me to believe. My heart ached and my head spun with confusion as I tried to determine which one was right. I knew who I _wanted_ to be right, but that didn't necessarily make it true._

_Edward slid into the chair with me and pulled me into his lap. I laid my head on his chest as his arms encircled me in complete security and caring. My tears were slowed as I inhaled his intoxicating scent, and I decided that for at least a little while I would pretend that Edward was right._

.

I tried to remember what Edward's embrace felt like as I turned to face Charlie. He reeked of raw fish and beer, causing my nose to wrinkle as he tossed today's catch on the counter.

"Cook this." He ordered before grabbing my upper arm painfully hard. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. "And you'd better not screw it up!"

He let go and stomped up the stairs to hopefully shower. I rubbed my arm for a moment before I sighed and went to work.

*0*0*0*

Monday morning came with a high and low so extreme it was hard to believe they were both my life. On a high note I would finally get to see Edward. Just the thought had me so giddy I didn't even realize I was smiling until I looked in the mirror. But it was also my birthday, and my high came crashing down as I wondered when I would be getting Charlie's "present". Deciding to give him as little cause as possible to remember, I woke early to make him a more elaborate than usual breakfast. I set his plate on the table just as he was entering the kitchen and then sat silently while he ate. (I was only allowed to eat once he had finished and left the kitchen.) His fork hit his empty plate and he stood and stretched before stomping off towards the front door, grunting at me on his way out.

"Poker tonight."

_Great. Poker_. I thought to myself, rolling my eyes, as I cleared the table. Every few weeks Charlie would have the other officers over for poker and beer. Poker nights used to be fun. The other officers that Charlie had served with before my mom died were like uncles to me, and it was always happy times when they were over. But over the last couple of years they had all moved on to neighboring departments. They all said it was because they couldn't refuse offers from bigger towns, but I knew the truth… They couldn't stand working for Charlie anymore. I didn't like the officers Charlie got to replace them. They gave me the creeps, and poker nights were what gave me this impression. My job on these nights was simple: replace empty beer cans with full ones while getting felt up by the increasingly drunk 'officers of the law'. The more I thought about it the more revolting it became, until my thoughts came around to one simple fact… I had never been beaten by Charlie on a poker night. Maybe I would escape my birthday present after all.

*0*0*0*

As I got out of my truck at school I saw Alice tentatively approaching me. I watched her eyes rake up and down my frame and knew she was searching for fresh injuries. I held my arms out and her face broke into an ear-splitting grin as she flew into them.

"Bella, Bella, you're ok. You are ok right?" She pulled back so she could see my face.

"Yes, Alice I'm fine. Charlie fished all weekend so I hardly ever saw him."

"Oh thank goodness! I was so worried! And by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She held out a small blue present.

"Shhhh! Sheesh Alice! Not so loud! And you shouldn't have." I didn't really know what to do. It had been a long time since someone had given me anything that wasn't meant to hurt me.

"Actually, she didn't." Edwards voice enveloped my senses as his arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "Happy Birthday, Bella." He whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek, causing me to shudder. It was like I was suddenly whole and everything was right in my life as I melted into him.

"Oh, all right." Alice pouted, drawing me out of my dream state. "It's from all of us. But _I_ picked it out!"

I opened the small box and a tiny silver rectangle fell out into my palm. I stared at it blankly for a moment not sure what it was.

"It a cell phone!" Alice shrieked with excitement. "It was my idea! Now you can call us whenever you want. I programmed all our numbers in it, and either Edward or I will show you how to work it at lunch today."

"Oh, Alice. It's too much. I don't think I can…"

"Oh, no you don't!" Alice cut me off, pushing the phone back into my hand. "You most certainly can! And you will! It's not too much! Nothing's too much to keep you…"

"Alice!" I hissed. My eyes grew wide with fear as she almost slipped in front of Edward.

"Nothing's too much to keep her what, Alice?" Edward quickly pounced on her slip. He knew we were keeping something from him and he saw a chance to find out.

"Nothing's too much to keep her… in touch with us." Alice covered. "Especially over the weekends. The last two days were horrible!" She drug out the last word like a whiny child.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess you're right." Edward conceded to his sister before turning to me. "I really did miss you the last couple of days."

"I missed you too." I said before kissing him eagerly. It was so good to feel him again that I got a little carried away.

Alice began to clear her throat in a very non-subtle way and we broke apart a little breathless. I blushed as Edward took my hand and began to lead me to class.

*0*0*0*

The school day went by without incident. I got dirty looks from Jessica and Lauren, but for the first time it made me smile. They were jealous. Of _me_. It _had_ to be killing them. Of course they lowered their heads and hurried off whenever Alice walked by, and I had to laugh out loud at their panic. So much for all their big talk.

At lunch, Edward took over the phone lessons from Alice, claiming that it would be easier for me to learn from someone who actually breathed when speaking from time to time. She just rolled her eyes, handed over the phone and diverted her attention to Jasper, who was very eager to receive it since Rose and Emmett were quite occupied with one another.

After lunch it was Biology, my one class with Edward. It went by too fast as usual, and then Alice very deftly saved me from killer volleyballs in gym. The only thing left to do was go home.

Edward's Volvo was the closest so we stopped there for our goodbyes.

"Bella, since it's your birthday, I was wondering if we could we have a date tonight?" Edward asked.

"I wish I could Edward, but Charlie never allows me to go out on school nights." Or any other night.

"Oh, I know. I just thought we could meet under the moon."

I raised my eyebrows in total confusion, making him chuckle as he explained.

"You see, Bella, tonight's supposed to be clear and a full moon. So I thought that just after dark I could go to our spot on the rock, and you could look out your window. If we both look at the moon at the same time, it's kind of like being together."

"It's perfect" I smiled. "I'll meet you at the moon."

With that I kissed him for as long as I dared before I begrudgingly pulled away and walked to where I had parked. When I reached my truck, Alice left Edward standing by his car and then suddenly dashed across the lot and threw her tiny arms around my neck. I hugged her back and felt her lift her chin to whisper in my ear.

"Please use the phone. Something doesn't feel right about letting you go home today. Please don't let him hurt you tonight. You're like my sister and I love you. Please be safe."

Tears began to fill my eyes as I listened to her quiet pleas. Burying my face in her shoulder, I hugged her tighter. I composed my expression as best I could before pulling back to respond to her.

"I'll be fine Alice. Charlie's having a poker night with the other officers. All I have to do is serve them beers until they pass out. It's as safe a night as I can have." I tried to smile to help calm her fears but since they weren't entirely unfounded, I couldn't manage a very convincing one.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said, climbing in my truck to head back to my prison.

"You'd better."

* * *

**A/N: Dig out your flashlights and big girl panties. Its gotta get dark, before the moon can come out. **

**Thanks for reading! See ya next week! :)**


	12. The Mocking Moon

Disclaimer: SM owns all things related to Twilight. The rest is mine.

***W*A*R*N*I*N*G*... ****This chapter contains rape and abuse. **If you are sensitive to this subject matter, you can either PM me for a summary or simply skip this chapter. I've tried to write the next couple of chapters so that if you skip this one you won't be lost in the story, but please feel free to PM with any questions.

Please remember that you have been warned...

* * *

Chapter 12: The Mocking Moon

**BPOV**

I was just setting the bowl of potato chips on the table next to the poker chips when Charlie walked up behind me and grabbed my hair roughly, throwing me towards the stairway. I struggled to find my balance as I slammed into the wall and fell back through the doorway. Pain was shooting through my scalp and now my shoulder from where it hit the wall as I quickly tried to catch my breath and brace for his attack. But it didn't come. Instead, he just barked at me to get upstairs until I was needed. I certainly wasn't opposed to getting away from him so I hurried up to my room. He'd never sent me away like this before on a poker night, but I wasn't going to complain. Keeping the door slightly open so that I would be sure to hear when he called, I rubbed my sore shoulder and sat down at my desk to address some homework.

It wasn't very long before I heard the doorbell ring and Charlie's half-drunk greetings to the other officers. The flutters in my stomach went into overdrive. _Here we go_, I thought to myself, rolling my eyes, mentally getting ready for another night of loud, drunk idiots.

I didn't dare go downstairs until Charlie called so I buried my nose back into my English assignment. I was so distracted by my reading that I didn't pay much attention to the fact that it had become quiet downstairs. It wasn't until I heard my door click shut that I jumped from my chair and turned to see all three officers standing in my room staring at me. Lieutenant James Warner stood in the middle, with his arms folded across his chest. His dirty blond hair was pulled back into a short pony tail at the nape of his neck and his pale blue eyes were sharp and cold. To his right was Officer Laurent Curtis, who stood slightly taller than James but had a more relaxed demeanor. His olive skin and black wavy hair framed pitch black angry eyes. Officer Alec O'Shea, with his smaller build, bright red hair and fair skin, stood to James' left. His expression cruel and menacing. Their large presence seem to shrink my already small room even further, and I could feel my heart began to accelerate with my breathing not far behind.

"I...uh...I'm sorry if I didn't hear you call for me. W-what can I get you guys?" I tried to sound as calm as I could. I was confused as to why they were in my room, but I hoped they would just allow me to fetch them a beer or something.

"Oh, it's not what you can give _us_, Isabella." James said, lust filling his eyes and voice. "It's what we can give _you_ tonight."

I felt horror taking over my face, and I had to choke back the bile rising in my throat. I didn't want to believe what I thought I was hearing. I quickly thought of my new phone, but it was buried in the bottom of my bag across the room. I would never be able to reach it.

"You see, the chief said it was your birthday," Laurent smirked. "He also said we could each give you a present."

What? Charlie said? I knew he hated me, but to allow _this_? Why?

Three sets of excited eyes raked over my body as if they could see right through my clothes. Chills ran down my spine and my stomach rolled violently as full comprehension was no longer unavoidable. I took a step back, bumping into the wall as I tried to speak, but it only came out as a whisper.

"Please, don't do this. Please. I don't want this."

"Oh come now, Isabella." Alec now spoke as he took a step towards me. "It's rude to turn down a gift."

The three of them advanced on me quickly. I screamed as I tried to run past them to my door, but James caught me around the waist and threw me on my bed. He was so strong. I began flailing my arms and legs, slapping and kicking any of them, all of them.

"ENOUGH!" James shouted, and I was suddenly free of their grasp. I looked up to see them stationed on each side of my bed and a new wave of fear ripped through my body. I was surrounded.

"Isabella!" He addressed me now. "We _are_ going to give you your gifts. However, only _you_ can decide how difficult that process is. So… what's it going to be?"

I may not be able to stop this but I will not willingly allow it either. As quick as I could, I shot my foot out, connecting with James' groin. I had only begun to see him double over before I heard a snapping sound followed by intense pain in my side. My breath was gone and I gasped for air. I saw Laurent's fist retract again, but he was called off by a wheezing James.

"I guess we have her answer. Alec, cuff her. Laurent, strip her."

I cried out in pain as Alec lifted my arms over my head and cuffed my wrists to my headboard. I then heard a ripping sound, followed by the cold air on my skin as Laurent attacked my clothes with a knife. He flayed my clothes like he was gutting a fish until I lay there completely exposed. In all the years of Charlie's abuse, I have never felt more afraid and vulnerable as I did in this moment.

James stepped forward, running his fingers slowly up my right leg as he spoke. I convulsed in revulsion.

"Now, now Isabella, is that any way to treat the people at your birthday party? What an ungracious hostess we have. Are you ready to play nice yet?"

He then slammed his face into me. His hot, wet lips devoured mine, and when I did not respond he grabbed my jaw roughly forcing my lips to separate. His tongue explored but could not get past my clenched teeth. Without letting go of my face with either his lips or his hand he explored down the side of my body with his other hand until he found what he was looking for. He jabbed his fingers into what I was sure were my broken ribs. The pain was blinding. I opened my mouth to scream and he immediately took advantage, thrusting his tongue deep into my mouth. I gagged and choked, causing my other two tormenters to laugh, amused by my suffering. I had only one weapon left, and with one last jolt of courage I bit down as hard as I could. James jumped back, wiping his now bleeding mouth on his sleeve.

"OW! Son of a… YOU STUPID WHORE!" He screamed as his fist connected with my mouth. I felt my lip split and the nauseating metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. The sharp pain in my mouth was soon joined by my left eye as his fist connected again. The explosiveness of the second blow made the room spin. I felt so disoriented, like I was floating. I thought I could feel my legs being lifted and moved but they seemed so far away. And then it suddenly felt as if I was being weighted down. The weight was heavy. It was becoming more and more uncomfortable. I was struggling under the weight when I felt something new between my legs.

Pressure…pain…pain…PAIN…FIRE! Clarity of thought returned with a vengeance as my brain began to register every ounce of my innocence being ripped from my body. It was Laurent above me, his hot breath on my neck and a mixture of lust, greed and just plain evil on his face. He pawed my breasts painfully hard, and when I saw his eyes begin to roll back into his head I knew that my transformation into something filthy was nearing completion. I didn't want to see anymore so I closed my eyes. I kept them shut as I felt the pressure withdraw, leaving only the stinging pain. But before I had time to relax, the pressure was back, reigniting the fire. I couldn't help the cry that escaped my lips, and I was quickly rewarded with an increase in pressure and pace. My eyes snapped open to find that it was now Alec above me. He was smiling at me as he now thrust even harder in an effort to elicit more cries. I would not give him the satisfaction. I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to see his elation as he finished.

Alec removed himself from me. Two down, one to go. I was now resigned to my fate and just wanted it to be over and have them gone. But as James approached, my door burst open revealing a furious looking Charlie. A brief glimmer of hope, and then…gone. His furious gaze was not directed at his officers. It was directed at… _me_? My mind could no longer make sense of this world. He crossed the room quickly, standing over me.

"Get ready, slut!" He spit at me.

I tried to roll over, but my hands were still cuffed and the pain was too intense.

"I SAID GET READY!" He yelled as he landed 'my' belt across the tender skin of my abdomen.

I clenched my teeth and grunted quietly with effort and pain as I struggled against my restraints again, knowing the forthcoming beating would be even worse if I was perceived as disobedient. James made an impatient sound and began to roughly roll me onto my stomach while explaining to Charlie that he had not had the opportunity to give me _his_ 'present' yet. My breath caught with the severe pain of the movement but I was determined to remain silent of any real sounds. Once on my stomach, with my arms still locked to my headboard, I braced for the familiar strike of Charlie's ire. But instead I felt an arm under my abdomen lift me until my knees were now positioned under me. Any confusion in my mind was answered as James slammed himself inside me from behind. He laughed and slapped me as he pushed himself faster and more violently into me. My vision was a little blurry due to the pain that James was causing and the swelling of my left eye, but I thought I saw Charlie smirking as he closed the door leaving me alone with my attacker. I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself.

James finally withdrew himself and I was disgusted even further as I felt something warm slide down my legs. I was raw, aching and way past my limit. My only saving grace was that I thought he was done. But he was suddenly behind me again, and this time I couldn't stop myself from crying out as he rammed something hard, cold and unnatural inside me. Blackness was encroaching on my vision as my body began to shut itself off. The agony of what he was doing was too much. But before I could pass out fully, he stopped and kneeled down by my face, revealing his device of torture.

"I knew I could make you moan for me. You liked that, didn't you?" He asked as he showed me his police officer's night stick, dripping with a mixture of semen and blood. His face was arrogant and triumphant, and he chuckled darkly as he continued. "Now I'll have something to remember our good time together. Happy birthday, Isabella. You'll always be my special girl. Anytime you want to party some more, you call me." He slowly licked my cheek from my jaw to my temple before fastening his pants and heading out the door.

"She's all yours Chief!" James called out as he disappeared down the stairs.

I closed my eyes again, feeling dizzy and quite nauseated. Charlie's very recognizable boots stomped towards me, followed by the first strike of the belt across my back. The lashes continued but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted him to hurry and get done so that I could be alone. What else could he take from me? I was bleeding, broken, humiliated and filthy. I had nothing left. When the seventeenth lash landed, he stopped. I exhaled in relief, grateful that the end of my torture that had finally come.

"Oh, you think we're done here, do you?" He suddenly growled. "If you're going to act like a whore, you will be treated as a whore, and punished as a whore. Did you honestly think that I wouldn't find out you ditched school for a whole week to screw some rich boy? You disgust me! And for that, you will now pay like you have never paid before!"

New fear ripped through me as the angry lashes blistered down my back and legs. This was it. He was going to kill me. I began to feel my consciousness slipping as my body was pushed far beyond its capabilities, and I happily gave in to the darkness that was finally coming to rescue me.

*0*0*0*

Much to my dismay, awareness slowly crept back in. I was alone in my room, though I could hear the poker party in full, drunken swing below. And as various parts of my body began to check in with my brain, I couldn't help whimpering into my pillow. Charlie had really gone above and beyond this time. There wasn't an inch on the entire back side of my body that didn't feel as if boiling water had been poured on it. My wrists had been freed, but I was pretty sure that standing was impossible. Where would I go anyway? There was no way I could make it out of the house, and I didn't dare even make an attempt to reach the phone in my bag for fear that they would hear me and return.

That's when I saw a pale beam of light, shining bravely through my window. I stretched my right arm out, allowing the light to bathe my hand, and watched it as it slowly tracked up my arm. When it reached my elbow I noticed that it was finally quiet throughout the house. It didn't matter if they were gone or passed out, I was grateful. There would be no more tonight.

As the light crept closer and closer to my face I began to see its source peek out from behind a tree and rise high in the sky. The moon. _Edward_.

He was waiting for me under the moon, and for a brief moment it was as if Edward was touching me through the moonlight, comforting me. But then I remembered that I was dirty now, and the moon's gentle presence turned to one of mocking. It laughed at me for thinking that Edward could still want me. There was no way he would want me after tonight. He deserved so much better, he always has. It's now painfully obvious that I have just been fooling myself. My time with Edward and his family are the best memories I have that don't include my mom, but that's all they will ever be now. I felt a tear escape down my cheek paving the way for others as I mourned all that I would never have again: innocence, happiness, love…Edward. The tears continued silently until sleep claimed me.

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**A/N: I know this was a hard chapter. Please don't hurt me...**

Thank you to timeaovergain for beta'ing, and CatMasters for pre-reading. They both do a great job!

And a huge THANK YOU to all of you who read, and to those who review. I love you all! (Please keep that in mind as you push the button today.)


	13. Exposed

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot and a spork.**

**A/N: Thank you to _timeaovergain_ for her beta skills. And to _CatMasters_, who pre-read this one a few times. You both rock!**

**And A big thank you to everyone who has marked this story as a favorite, or put it on alert. You ALL are awesome! **

* * *

Chapter 13: Exposed

**BPOV**

My alarm began to blare and in my drowsiness I reached for it before I realized that would be a very bad idea. My stretched skin ignited and I had to bite my pillow to stifle my scream. I didn't know if Charlie was still home or not, and I didn't want to find out. I took a few deep breaths to prepare and then holding the last one I began to move my aching form. I slid off my bed awkwardly on my stomach, landing on my knees. Ok, out of bed, check. I pulled my right leg up, placed my foot flat on the floor and pushed myself up to a standing position. Once there, my knees began to buckle and I leaned forward to catch myself before I could go all the way down. I knew I wouldn't have the strength for any extra movements, so I had to be careful. I steadied myself and gingerly took my first steps towards the bathroom. My movements were slow, stiff and filled with pain. I noticed that Charlie had been even more thorough than I originally thought. He'd actually managed to stripe the bottoms of my feet, as if everything else wasn't going to make walking hard enough.

I gimped into the bathroom and took a deep cleansing breath before looking in the mirror. I gasped at the sight. I was still naked, and my body had to be 90% purple. My left eye was swollen almost completely shut beneath a bruise that covered half my face, and my bottom lip was engorged and split. I could see hand shaped bruises on my breasts and a stripe of purple across my abdomen. My wrists were raw with cuts and bruises from the handcuffs, and my right wrist wouldn't fully bend. Then I turned and took in the horror on my back. I was covered from head to toe with angry red and purple welts. A few of them had split and I could see the tracks of the blood that had escaped them. And although I couldn't see it, my most private of areas felt as if it had been badly burned.

I wanted to wash it all away so I turned on the shower. Charlie had somehow found out about me not being in school last week, I didn't dare not go today. I didn't know how I was going to manage it, but I had to. The gentle water of the shower felt like razor blades on my tender skin. The pain was so intense that I threw up on the shower floor and began to cry as I watched my vomit mix with the dried blood that was rinsing off my body. I washed as quickly as I was capable of and then shut off the water. Toweling off was nearly impossible and I had to settle for standing in the shower, holding the towel to my front as my back air dried.

Once I was acceptably dry I went back to my room for some clothes. Panties and a bra were not going to be possible so I settled on an oversized pair of sweatpants, a soft cotton tee and my big, baggy hoodie. I tried to touch the backs of my legs as little as possible as I pulled the sweats up, but flinched when the waistband took its position. After similar struggles with the tee and hoodie I grabbed my bag and headed slowly down the stairs.

I limped into the kitchen, but stopped dead when I saw Charlie sitting at the table glaring at me. My eyes widened in fear and my stomach started doing back flips.

"What happened to you?" He growled.

"I-I fell down the stairs." I meekly replied. Of course he'd want us on the same excuse page.

He stood and walked towards me, positioning himself between me and where 'my' belt hung. I began to tremble.

"That's right, and don't you forget it!" He threatened, patting the belt and sneering at me before turning for the door.

I exhaled the breath I didn't realize I had been holding as he drove away. Too upset and in too much pain to eat, I decided to try to get to school. I was running late as it was. Climbing into my truck was a new adventure in torture but I finally made it, trying extra hard not to lean back. Every pothole and turn on the way to school was agony and I was a little dizzy and queasy by the time I pulled into the parking lot. I was so late that I didn't see anyone around. That was a plus. Getting myself out wasn't going to be pretty.

I finally managed to get out of the cab, and using my truck for support I slowly began the long limp towards school. Out of nowhere, I suddenly saw Alice approaching. She stopped a few feet from me, her mouth agape and her eyes wide with horror.

"B-Bella?" She stammered.

"Charlie found out about last week." I said quietly, remembering my promise not to lie to her.

"Oh no, Bella. No, no, no!" She seemed to be in shock, but suddenly there was a new horror on her face. "EDWARD! NO! DON'T!"

I felt Edward grab me from behind, and I shrieked in pure agony. Surprised, he quickly let go and I fell to the ground.

"Bella! What's wrong? What did I do? Are you ok?" His terrified inquiry cut at me like a knife. Could I cover this time, or would he find out about my shame?

Rose, Emmett and Jasper came running up then, all of them highly alarmed. I looked up and caught Rosalie's eye. We stared at each other for a moment and I watched as all the light drained from her eyes, leaving them hollow.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." She whispered in a knowing voice. I was a bit disturbed by it, but before I could react, Edward reclaimed my attention. He came around so that he could look directly into my mangled face.

"What happened?" He demanded.

"I-I," I started to cry, "I fell down the stairs last night. I'm ok."

"THE HELL YOU ARE!" Emmett boomed.

"AND THE HELL YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!" Alice roared. I looked at her with shock and betrayal.

"I'm sorry, Bella. And I hope you can forgive me someday, but this is it! The last straw!" Everyone was looking at Alice, waiting for her to explain. Suddenly Emmett piped up.

"Wait a minute! Alice? Do you know something? Is this why you insisted we wait for Bella to show up this morning before we could go to class?" He asked her.

Alice looked at me ruefully. I knew what she was about to do and I begged her with my battered eyes, but she ignored me.

"Her quote, unquote _father_ did this to her." She explained, distain dripping from her voice.

"Bella? Is this true?" Edward begged, shock and hurt etched on his face. I looked up at my former prince, knowing I could never have him now. Despair overtook me and I fell the rest of the way forward so that my face was now resting on the cold asphalt of the parking lot. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

"Truth doesn't matter right now." Jasper interceded; his voice was calm, but angry as well. "She needs help. Let's get her to Carlisle."

"No!" I gasped. "No hospitals! Please!"

Emmett flipped his phone open and spoke furiously into it, then after listening for a moment, he nodded and flipped it shut.

"Dad says to take her to our house. He'll meet us there."

Knowing I had no choice, I allowed Emmett and Edward to help me up. They laid me on my stomach across the back seat of Edward's Volvo. Alice slipped in and I rested my head in her lap. Edward drove and promised to avoid as many bumps as possible. Rosalie slid into the passenger seat and Jasper jumped in Emmett's jeep with him. We rode mostly in silence with the exception of a few groans from me, which were immediately followed by apologies from Edward. Alice stroked my hair, which was soothing since it was the only place on my body that didn't hurt. I needed her too much right now to be angry with her.

We arrived at the Cullen's house and Esme was at the car before we stopped. Carlisle must have called her.

"Oh, my dear Bella!" She cried. "Let's get you upstairs. Carlisle will be here any minute. Can you walk?"

I nodded, and Edward and Emmett helped me to my feet and began to lead me to the house. Alice ran ahead, opening the door. They helped me as I struggled up the stairs. Emmett offered to carry me but there was nowhere for him to put his arms. Esme instructed them to help me to the guest room and once inside she ordered the boys out.

"Rose Dear," Esme said gently, "Why don't you go and fetch Carlisle's bag from his office, and then wait for him on the stairs."

Rosalie just nodded and left in a bit of a daze.

"Alice, text Jasper and have him and Emmett sit with her."

"OK, Mom."

I was confused by what had just happened but my pain didn't allow me to think about much else. Esme now turned her attention back to me.

"Bella, Carlisle will need to examine you. I will stay with you, so there is no need to fear. But we do need to get you out of those clothes in order to give you proper help. Would it be alright if Alice and I helped you?"

I nodded, almost in auto-pilot now. This was real. It was going to happen. I couldn't stop it. They were going to find out everything. And Charlie was going to kill me.

*0*0*0*

I whimpered quietly as Esme and Alice removed my clothes. Alice was in front of me, and couldn't see the worst of it. She cooed calming, reassuring things to me. It helped a little, I think. Esme was very stoic behind me, only betraying her calm exterior with one small gasp as she lifted my t-shirt. Working together to hold the waistband away from my skin, they carefully slid my sweatpants off. That's when Alice got her first glimpse of my back. She burst instantly into uncontrollable sobs.

"B-B-Bella! I'm s-so s-s-sorry! I knew something was going to happen! I should n-n-n-never have l-let you go home! It's my fault you were out of school last week! This was all because of me!"

"Shhhh, Alice," I put my arm around her trembling shoulders, as my own tears began to escape. "It's not your fault! It's mine. I should never have called you that day we went shopping. I should never have involved you. You and your whole family would be so much better off if you just dropped me back off at school and forgot you ever knew me!"

"Now Bella you listen to me!" Esme cut in, eyeing me sternly, "I never want to hear such talk again! The day you walked into our lives was a blessed day indeed and I won't have you thinking anything to the contrary. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am," I mumbled, dropping my gaze to the floor as a tear slid down my cheek. "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me."

Esme placed a gentle hand under my chin, lifting my face to meet hers.

"Oh, Bella, dear, I'm not angry with you. It just hurts me that you could possibly think any of this is your fault. You can be assured that I will be speaking with Carlisle, and you will never spend another minute in that house if I have anything to say about it."

Fresh new tears poured down my face as I leaned into her, burying my face in her shoulder. She stroked my hair resisting the urge to put her arms around my broken body. I wrapped my arms around her waist. Even this one-sided hug felt wonderful to me.

"She's staying with us?" Alice squealed through her hysteria! "Forever?"

"I hope so." Esme replied, and I thought I felt a tear fall into my hair. "If that's what Bella wants, of course."

I couldn't speak. She wanted me. Somebody wanted me. I just nodded emphatically as I sobbed even harder into her.

Esme instructed Alice to pull the sheet off the bed and drape it gently around my shoulders so that I was covered. Esme held it off my skin as much as she could while I continued to cling to her. There was a quiet knock at the door and then it slowly opened. After being assured of my modesty, Carlisle entered the room carrying his doctor's bag. Esme told Alice to go and wait with the others. She gave a weak protest before kissing my cheek and skipping out the door. She closed it behind her and as soon as I heard the click I began to panic. I stiffened and then began to tremble uncontrollably. Esme stroked my hair and spoke soothingly to me.

"It's going to be ok, Sweetheart. I won't leave you for a second, and Carlisle will be very gentle. We just need to make sure you're ok."

"That's right, Bella." Carlisle spoke in the same soothing tone. "Some of your injuries may require treatment, so I need to examine you. Before I begin, can you tell me what happened?"

"Ch-Charlie f-f-found out about l-last week," I could barely force the words out. "He w-was mad."

"Charlie? Your Father? I knew you didn't get along, but I didn't know it was like this. How long has he been hurting you?"

"Since a few weeks after my mom died." I whispered.

"Oh you poor dear," Esme said sympathetically. "All this time. I'm so sorry."

"I'm going to start my exam now," Carlisle continued. "Please just try to relax."

I felt cool air as he slowly moved and replaced the sheet, keeping me as covered as possible which I appreciated. His touch was gentle but still agonizing and I couldn't help the whimpers that escaped as he prodded some of my injuries. I squeezed Esme tighter and tighter until it was time to examine my front. Esme slowly and tenderly turned me around while holding the sheet to keep me covered. Carlisle's nimble, professional fingers scurried over my face, and then examined the binding marks on my wrists. I cried out as he probed my ribs where Laurent had punched me, and that led him around to my breasts. I began to hyperventilate when I saw him raise an eyebrow as he took in the obvious shape of the bruises there. He looked up at the horror in my face and asked me the question I most dreaded.

"Bella, where you sexually assaulted?"

I couldn't answer. I was crying so hard now that my legs were beginning to give out. Esme quickly grabbed one of my arms and Carlisle grabbed the other. They lowered me onto the bed, and Esme adjusted the sheet over me as I buried my face in the pillow, too embarrassed to look at them.

"Bella, I'm going to sedate you for the rest of the exam. I think you'll be more comfortable." Carlisle quietly stated.

"NO! Please!" I begged. "I don't want to be unconscious. I need to know what's happening."

"Alright, if that's how you feel. How about I just give you something for the pain to help make this a little easier for you?"

I nodded. _Pain relief could be nice_, I thought to myself before getting a look at size of the needle he pulled out of his bag. He told me to look away as he stabbed it into a vein in my arm. I moaned a little at the pain but I couldn't argue with the results. I rapidly began to feel the effects. The pain was still there, but it somehow felt more distant, more manageable.

"Bella, I need your permission to do a rape exam, as well as photo document your injuries." Carlisle requested.

I nodded, and fresh tears filled my eyes. I cringed at every flash as he took pictures of my back before he and Esme carefully helped me roll over. It wasn't too bad with the drugs I'd been given. Esme sat next to my head and held my hand, while Carlisle lifted the sheet below to begin the most personal of exams. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine being anywhere else, while he probed and swabbed where I had been ravished.

"Bella, these are sterile swabs from my medical bag. I don't have an official rape kit, but I do have a few items that can be used as suitable substitutes in this situation." He explained to me. "Some of the swabs will be used for evidentiary purposes should you wish to press charges, and the others will be used to test for various STDs. I will also be getting you a medication that will ensure you do not get pregnant. I understand how frightening this must be for you, but I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to see you through this."

I nodded absently. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I could be diseased or pregnant. It was like holding a magnifying glass up to my shame, and a new level of disgust and horror washed over me.

After what seemed like an eternity, he replaced the sheet and patted me softly on the leg to let me know we were done.

"There's a lot of damage down there," He began. "I need to ask if there were others, besides Charlie?"

"No." I offered through my sobs, what was the point in lying now? "It wasn't Charlie, but there were 3. He l-let them and then punished me for being a… being a…whore." I wasn't sure I had said the last part loud enough for anyone to hear, but Esme's gasp told me otherwise. She squeezed my hand more firmly for support.

"Do you know these men?" He asked.

Again I nodded. He looked at me with patient anticipation. I looked away and sighed. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell them.

"It's ok, Sweetheart," Esme spoke softly to me. "You don't have to talk right now if you don't want to. Just know that we're here whenever you're ready."

Even with the medication, I was not comfortable on my back, so Esme helped me roll onto my stomach. Carlisle then told me that it was doctor's orders that I get some sleep. I protested the sedative again, but when Esme assured me that either she or Alice would always be with me, I gave my hesitant consent. With another blazing sting in my arm, the darkness came.

*0*0*0*

**EPOV**

I paced back and forth downstairs in the entryway. I had been upstairs, pacing outside the guestroom door, but after hearing Bella's whimpers and cries of pain, I couldn't take it anymore and came down here. Why would anyone do this to her? She was so sweet. She wouldn't hurt a fly.

Murderous feelings began surging through me as I thought more about someone hurting my Bella. I grabbed my head, trying to force the sounds of her screams out of my mind. It was like the sounds had been etched inside my ears with a blowtorch. Why didn't she tell me? I would have done something. She told Alice. ALICE! She kept quiet. I begged her to tell me what was going on and she didn't. She could have stopped this, but she didn't. She just gave her a phone that she obviously couldn't use. Wow, that was helpful.

My internal rant was interrupted by the doorbell, and I pulled open the door violently. The delivery guy looked startled and nervously held out a clipboard for me to sign. While I signed he set the equipment inside the door, being careful not to come too close to me. He thanked me and quickly returned to his truck, giving me a weird look as he drove off. I must have seemed insane to him, but I didn't care.

"Was that the doorbell?" Emmett asked as he bounded down the stairs.

"Yeah. Help me carry this up to Dad would you?"

The two of us picked up the equipment and made our way up to the guestroom. I knocked lightly and my dad opened the door.

"The equipment you ordered is here." I informed him.

"Good. Could you please help me get it inside? She's sedated so I think now would be a good time to get these done."

"Are you sure it's ok if I come in?" I asked.

"Yes. She's well covered and besides, I'm going to need your help to do this."

I helped my father carry in the portable x-ray equipment and set it up. I avoided looking at the bed, not sure what I would see, but when we were done with the set up I glanced over. My mouth fell open as I took in the scene. Bella was laying on her stomach with her head turned to the left. Mom was sitting there holding an icepack on her swollen eye. Her body was covered with a sheet up to her shoulders but I could still see the dark purple welts peeking out above the sheet. Tears stung my eyes as I realized what the sheet must have covered. My father placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder before speaking.

"She's going to be ok, son. I know it looks horrible, and she's going to be in a lot of pain for a while, but I promise you she'll heal."

I know his words were meant as a comfort, but all I could think about was that she was in pain _now_, and that was unacceptable. I helped him maneuver the x-ray machine around the bed, taking shots of most of her frail body. She slept though it all, whimpering a little from time to time as we moved her slightly to position the right angle. My stomach turned as I held out her thin arms so Dad could take x-rays of her damaged wrists. You could clearly make out the impression of the handcuffs that had dug into her skin.

"She must have been so scared." I whispered to no one in particular. It was my mother's hand I felt on my shoulder now.

"She still is, Sweet Boy. We have to be very careful with her. She's been through more than we can imagine. Let's let her rest now."

I nodded sadly, a single tear rolling down my cheek, as my father and I left the room.

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**A/N: We're going to be traveling Heartfail Road for a while. But don't worry... I have a map, a compass and a flashlight.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	14. Deal with the Devil

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot and a calendar that seems to be moving freakishly fast!**

**A/N: I'll be out of town the next couple of days so I decided to post a day early. :)**

**Thanks to my Beta _timeaovergain_ for getting this chapter back to me so quickly. And thanks to _CatMasters_ for pre-reading and making sure I'm not derailing the story.**

**And finally, a HUGE thank you and tons of love to _Hev99_ for patiently talking me off the ceiling as I re-wrote a lot of this chapter. I love you loads girl!**

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Chapter 14:Deal With the Devil

**EPOV**

I found my dad in his office, scrutinizing Bella's x-rays on his computer. Not really knowing what I was looking at, but feeling a need to just do _something_, I found myself peering over his shoulder trying to decipher the monochromatic image. After a time, he sighed and shook his head, causing the knot in my stomach to tighten.

"What?" I asked.

"She has three broken ribs and a small fracture in her right wrist, most likely caused by the pressure of her restraints. But I'm even more troubled by what seems to be several old, poorly mended fractures. This girl has been through hell."

There was a strange heat growing inside me as I listened to my father's assessment. I have never felt so angry in my life.

"Daddy?" Alice timidly asked, peeking through the door. "Is she ok?"

"YOU!" I bellowed. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? YOU KNEW AND YOU LET HER GO BACK THERE! YOU LET THIS HAPPEN! WHY?"

Alice's face was shocked and then she fell onto her knees in instant, full blown sobs.

"I'm so sorry. You're right. It's my fault. I'm a horrible person!" She wailed.

Her pain was so raw and intense that I immediately felt my anger towards her soften somewhat. I should've probably said something, but I didn't know what. Thankfully Dad stepped in.

"Alice," he said softly, kneeling down and putting his arm around her. "This is not your fault. You were in a very difficult position, wanting to protect your friend without betraying her confidence. I'm sure you couldn't have known it was this bad."

"But that's just it," she sobbed. "I had a strange feeling something really bad was going to happen. That's why I wanted to give her the phone. I was stupid for thinking he would give her a chance to call."

"You're not psychic Alice." I sighed, trying to sooth her now. "And I'm sorry for yelling at you. I know it's not your fault. It's that bastard she has for a father's fault. Please forgive me."

My tiny twin leapt into my arms and we held each other tightly in a vain attempt to console one another in an inconsolable situation.

A knock at the door indicated the arrival of the others as they made their way in with looks of anticipation and stress on their faces. Dad waved them in and suggested we all have a seat, before he began to explain the extent of Bella's injuries. They all reacted in their own ways as he told them about the broken bones, the welts, and bruises. A deep growl rumbled in Jasper's chest as Alice sobbed quietly on his shoulder. His face was like stone, while his hands seemingly worked independently of each other as he rubbed soothing circles on her back with one and death gripped a pillow with his other. Emmett looked as though he could eat nails as he got up to pace around the room, his massive form trembling with rage. The only one to listen in silence had been Rosalie, and when I glanced over at her I was disturbed by what I saw. The look, that haunted her eyes and our hearts since she first came to live with us, had returned from well over a year of dormancy. And as one single tear slowly ran down her cheek, I felt a chill run down my spine. Oh no. I tracked her eyes to my dad's as she asked her silent question, receiving his defeated nod in reply.

"NO!" I exploded. "Not her! Please Dad, tell me it's not true."

"What's going on?" Alice demanded, looking from me to our father and back again.

"I'm sorry son. It's true." NO, NO, NO! Not my Bella! My head was spinning and I desperately tried to get a hold of myself.

Dad addressed everyone then, noticing the puzzled expressions on the other's faces.

"In addition to being severely beaten by her father, Bella was also sexually assaulted last night by at least three different assailants."

_Three_? My eyes widened with horror and there was a stunned silence, following a few escaped gasps. Alice clung tighter to Jasper with renewed sobs as Emmett growled the question through gritted teeth that everyone wanted to know.

"Who?"

"She's too afraid to say at this time," Dad answered, stress and exhaustion creeping into his voice.

We all sat quietly for a while deep in thought as we processed the situation. Alice's tiny voice seemed like a scream in the deafening silence.

"I-I think I may know," she timidly offered, while everyone just stared at her waiting for her to continue. "She said that Charlie was hosting a poker party for the other officers last night. Aren't there three of them?"

I probably should have been more shocked at the possibility of the other police officers having done this to Bella. But once I realized what the police _chief_ is capable of, I found my ability to be surprised somewhat diminished.

"That actually makes some sense with the little she did say," Dad began, going deeper in thought. "Hmmm. I think I need to make a phone call to an old friend of mine with the FBI. Why don't you kids head downstairs and get some lunch. Alice, would you please check with your mother and see if she or Bella needs anything?"

We all walked in and sprawled out around the kitchen like shell-shocked survivors of a natural disaster. Only this disaster was far from natural. As my eyes swept the room, the devastation of this tragic morning was obvious. Jasper and Emmett were each holding one of Rosalie's hands. They spoke soothingly to her, as they tried in vain to get her to speak for the first time since the school parking lot this morning. And though I felt the pain of my family's past as I watched the scene, I could not tear my mind away from the broken girl upstairs. My thoughts were only interrupted when Alice came flying in a few minutes later, grabbing some of the large gel ice packs that Emmett and Jasper use after a tough football practice out of the freezer and bolted back up the stairs. I felt a little queasy as I thought about why she would need so many ice packs, and my nausea quickly melted into fresh anger. Unable to control myself anymore I picked up a glass and threw it against the wall, it's explosion reminiscent of my heart. My body shook with overwhelming emotion, and I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder as I watched the pieces of glass scatter down the wall and across the floor.

My mother lovingly wiped the tear from my cheek that I didn't even know was there before pulling me into a tight embrace. She hummed quietly as I unleashed the flood of anguish I had been trying to hold back into her shoulder. Gently, she led me to the couch in the next room and held me while I cried, just as she had when I was a little boy. I cried until I had nothing left, until my head felt like it was going to explode and my throat felt like I had gargled the glass that I had broken in the kitchen. Sensing my exhaustion, she repositioned me on the couch so that I was lying down, and ran her fingers lovingly through my unrepentant hair until I fell asleep.

*0*0*0*

"Edward. Hey Bro, wake up."

Jasper's voice seemed so distant, but I couldn't ignore his hand as it roughly shook my shoulder. My head was throbbing and I just wanted to be left alone, but then I had another thought that sent me alarmingly fast back into reality…

"Bella! Is she ok? What's going on?" The words flew out of my mouth as I jumped up so quickly that I knocked Jasper over.

"She's fine, dude. Or at least there's been no change." Jasper's words came from below me. I looked down at him, surprised at first, before I realized what I had done.

"Oh, sorry, man." I said, as I helped him up.

"It's ok. I know how you feel, but try not to worry. We're not going to let anyone hurt her again. And we're going to make the ones who did pay _big time_." He looked so determined that there was no way I could doubt him.

"Thanks Jasper. I'm glad I can count on your help."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh, that's sort of why I woke you up. Carlisle finally got off the phone with Agent Dwyer and needs to talk to us. I think he's planning something."

"Let's go." We were already running out of the room.

Jasper and I were running so fast into Dad's office that we both ran into the doorframe and fell to the ground. Normally that kind of behavior would be rewarded with Emmett's huge belly laugh, followed by some pointing and mocking, but today he just helped us up and asked if we were hurt. That alone, would have told me of the gravity of the situation if I had not already been aware of it. I looked around the room and saw that it was only us boys and Mom. Her red swollen eyes matched mine, indicating that she had finally taken some time for her own release of emotions. Even Dad looked as if he had shed a few tears. Taking one look at me, he began fumbling in his desk, pulled out a small white bottle, and tossed it to me. Ibuprofen.

"Take a couple," he instructed. "I need you at the top of your game."

I nodded and did as I was told, eager to find out what we were going to do. I watched him walk back over to where my mother was sitting, taking her hand in one of his and patting it reassuringly with the other. He then took a deep breath and began to speak.

"First off, in case you boys were wondering, I gave Rosalie a mild sedative and she is sleeping in her room. Alice is sitting with Bella. As you all know, Bella's condition is quite serious and our first priority is to protect her and help her heal. I have spoken to Agent Dwyer and he is quite concerned about not only Bella, but the possibility of corruption in the entire Forks Police Department. He is sending someone to retrieve the evidence I collected during Bella's exam, but doesn't want to tip off Chief Swan about an investigation. He also must proceed very cautiously since, as of right now, Bella is refusing to name her attackers. I suspect, and he concurs, that she won't name them because she thinks she is going to have to go back and live with Charlie again. Her fear of that is quite understandable, so it is imperative that we get her out of that situation. I can't file for temporary custody because that would alert Chief Swan to our intentions. We must be very smart about this. We cannot, under any circumstances, tip our hand." He looked directly at me now. "We must maintain our control at all times and act as if nothing is wrong."

"I don't understand, Carlisle." Mom interjected. "How do we get her away from that horrible man without going through the courts?"

"We will go through the courts eventually, but for now I have a plan to get her away from him without causing suspicion."

We all looked around the room at each other, each of us sharing the same confused, anticipation laced look.

"Boys?" Dad called us back to attention. "Get yourselves cleaned up and dressed in something nice. I need you all looking as sharp as possible. We have a deal to make, and we need to look all business."

Jumping up, we all headed to our rooms. We were confused but happy to finally be doing something, even if we didn't know what it was we were actually doing. I took a quick shower; even though I'd had one this morning, I felt dirty somehow and wanted another. The gel in my unruly hair did little to tame it, but at least it made it look as though I meant it to be that way. Deciding on a deep blue, long sleeved dress shirt and a pair of black slacks, I dressed quickly and went to my mirror for a final inspection. My eyes were still a little swollen, so I held a cold washcloth to them for a minute. The cold felt good on my face as the Ibuprofen continued to work on my headache. Satisfied that I'd done the best I could, I headed back to my father's office.

The hushed tones of my parents inside stopped me outside the office door. It sounded as though they were arguing.

"I don't like this Carlisle. One of them could get hurt."

"They're big boys. They can handle it."

"But Emmett and Jasper are being forced to relive their worst nightmare, Edward is like one huge raw nerve, and none of them are exactly known for their restraint. How can you ask this of them? What if something goes wrong? What recourse do you have?"

"Please try not to worry. I know to you they will always be your little boys, but they are nearly men now. They are young, but I have every confidence in them. They can do this."

"Just promise me that you will get out of there if any one of them even remotely seems uncomfortable."

"I promise. I would never endanger our sons. You know that."

"I do."

I cleared my throat as I pushed the door open to alert them to my presence. They were in the middle of the room, embracing one another. Breaking apart as I entered, I heard my mom mention something about checking on Rose and Bella. As she walked past me she paused, looked me in the eyes and placed her hand on the side of my face.

"Be strong." She whispered, before retreating down the hall.

Emmett and Jasper came in a few seconds later, and we all took a seat on the brown leather couch. Dad had put on one of his hand-made Italian suits; navy blue and tailored to perfection. He had the middle two buttons done up and had matched it with a white shirt and a navy silk tie that had a very subtle geometric design. The ensemble screamed 'power' and made me even more curious as to what we were doing. Jasper and Emmett had both chosen clothing that was more similar to what I was wearing, and after appraising our appearances, Dad nodded his approval.

"Today we are going to walk into the Forks Police station and attempt to make what could possibly be a life or death deal. It is imperative that you be at your absolute best. If for one second you feel that you cannot remain in complete control, you need to speak now. No one will think you weak. This is a very tough situation."

He looked each of us in the eyes, holding our gazes until he was satisfied with what he saw before he continued.

"We are going to be doing something that I would normally consider completely unethical, but at this time I feel it's our only option. We are going to attempt to buy Bella."

I didn't have the faintest idea how you buy the police chief's daughter, but at least our attire made sense now. 'Power' was exactly what he wanted to convey. It was no secret in this town that we had money, and a lot of it. But with the exception of a few indulgences, we never flaunted it. Today, we were to show it off in order to intimidate. I liked it. Of course the thought of walking into the police station and facing all of Bella's attackers in one room was enough to make me want to forgo civility and murder them all, but this way would accomplish a lot more and I vowed to keep myself under control. I would do anything for Bella.

Dad began explaining his plan in more detail, and I had to hand it to him, it was different. As I was listening, I couldn't help but think that this was such an incomprehensible situation that maybe this odd plan of his may actually work. I was careful not to get up too much hope though. Even if this did work, her reprieve would only last so long and then the real fight would begin. Either way, I was determined that I would never allow her sperm donor to ever lay a hand on her again.

The ride into town in Dad's black Mercedes was mostly silent, as everyone seemed to be mentally preparing for what we were about to do. My heart was pounding like a thoroughbred in the Kentucky Derby by the time we pulled into the parking lot. It had my ears ringing a bit as Dad cut the engine and turned in his seat to face us.

"We are to present a united front. I want him to see _me_ whenever he sees one of you. I will do the talking. No matter what you feel, you are to exude nothing but confidence and most importantly, indifference. If he suspects for one moment that we know more than we should or that we care more deeply than we should, this whole plan is in jeopardy. If you cannot handle that then you need to remain in the car. Understood?"

There was a "yes" from me, a "yes sir" from Jasper and a "yup" from Emmett. Dad nodded and we got out of the car. I was nervous as we walked in, but I was determined to do this for Bella, and also not to let my father down. He was trusting us to be the men he thought we were and we could not disappoint him. Taking deep, steadying breaths, we each lifted our chins and strolled into the station. A couple of the officers were visible at their desks, and I felt my blood begin to boil as Dad asked the secretary if we could speak to the chief. She obligingly called him from his office before excusing herself to take a coffee break.

My mind and body were at war with one another as I strained for control. We were in the viper pit, and the most poisonous one of all just emerged from his office. Chief Swan's look of annoyance turned quickly to one of trepidation as he took us all in, and finally settled on carefully masked suspicion as he greeted my father.

"Dr. Cullen. What can I do for you?"

"Good afternoon, Chief Swan. I have come to speak to you concerning your daughter."

His eyes widened briefly with fear, but quickly narrowed into angry slits.

"What about her?" He spoke through his teeth. "What has the little… What has she done?"

"Oh, you misunderstand." My father stated politely. "She has done nothing but become friends with my daughter Alice."

I could see him visibly relax a little as my father continued.

"She is a delightful girl and we were very much hoping that she might stay with us for a while. My daughter would be most thrilled. The boys here will be camping a lot in the coming weeks and my wife greatly dislikes a quiet house. You would be doing me quite a service if you would allow Isabella to stay with us for a time."

"I don't know," he started slowly. "She does all the cooking and cleaning at home. I don't think I could do without her. And I'm not sure you are prepared to deal with her, uh, _attitude_. She requires, shall we a say, a firm hand to keep her in line."

I clenched my fist, wishing nothing more than to slam it into his face at that moment. Oh yeah, _Bella_ was the one with the attitude problem. His casual references to Bella's treatment had my stomach rolling, and just as I thought I was going to need to excuse myself, Dad began to speak. I couldn't help but marvel at his control. I knew he must be feeling close to what I was feeling, but you would never know it by looking at or listening to him.

"I have five teenagers Chief," he chuckled. "I'm sure I can deal with any attitude that comes along. And as far as the other things, I am fully prepared to compensate you for depriving you of your daughter's charming company. How does an open tab at the diner sound? And a housekeeper, to keep things in order during Isabella's absence?"

"That's mighty generous of you Dr. Cullen, but I'm still not sure it's a good idea."

"Well, my wife and daughter are really counting on this and I hate to disappoint them, so how about I also throw in a case of beer for every day she is with us?"

"Every day?" His half hung-over eyes lit up in a disgusting display of greed. It made me sick, and yet, in that moment, I knew we had him. I was excited to close the deal and get out of there.

"But Chief!" One of the other officers suddenly interrupted. "You promised that we could…"

He was instantly silenced by the deranged glare of Chief Swan, and I thought I heard someone whisper 'shut up, Alec'. My eyes widened in shock as I realized that he had promised them another go with Bella. This was, without a doubt, the most despicable man on the planet. My teeth ground together and I began to perspire a little with the effort to control myself. I felt my father's hand quickly pat me on the back in warning, and I was able to calm myself enough to smooth my face as the chief turned back towards us.

"Deal." He said flatly. "You keep the beer and everything else coming and you can keep her as long as you want. It'll be nice not having to look at her for a while anyway. Nothing but a trouble maker."

"Thank you, Chief Swan. You have been most accommodating. Good day to you."

"Yeah. Bye."

We didn't dare breathe until we got in the car and pulled away.

"I'm very proud of you boys." Dad stated. "And I'm quite relieved. That went better than I could have hoped."

Relief flooded through me. We had done it. We had liberated Bella. At least for now.

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**A/N: I promise to respond to all reviews. But since I'm going out of town, my reply may be a little delayed. Thanks for understanding. :)**

**Story rec: Privileged by Nostalgicmiss. If you've never read anything by this amazing author, then you are truly missing out!**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	15. Helpless

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot, and a scale that's going to meet Mr. Baseball Bat if it doesn't stop its vicious lies!**

**A/N: Thank you, as always, to my speedy Beta, timeaovergain. And to the awesome CatMasters for pre-reading.**

**And huge love and tackle hugs to Hev99. Y'all are reading this chapter today because of her. That girl should seriously be a crisis negotiator; she can talk anyone off a ledge. Thanks for all your help Bob! :) **

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Chapter 15: Helpless

**EPOV**

The car ride home was quiet. Everyone seemed lost in their thoughts. My dad looked determined, Emmett looked worried, and Jasper looked furious. I felt all of these and more. I was so overwhelmed that I felt as if my skin were the only thing holding me together. Excitement filled me at the thought of telling Bella that she wouldn't have to go back to her house anytime soon, and that I was determined to make sure that she would never have to go back there. I worried about her state of mind when she woke up. She seemed to be handling everything that morning on shock and adrenaline, and it honestly frightened me to think of how she would be when all that wore off. And although the fury I had felt while in the police station had dissipated somewhat, I could still taste the disgust in my throat from the experience. My mind was overloading almost painfully, as though it had been attacked by a fast moving poison, and the only antidote lay sleeping in our guestroom.

Everyone was startled out of their thoughts by the loud beeping of dad's cell phone. He flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Esme? What is it?"

My mother calling could not be good. I was instantly anxious and leaned forward trying to hear what she was saying.

"Ok. Just keep doing what you're doing. I'll be home in less than five minutes."

Dad simultaneously shut his phone and hit the gas, throwing me back into my seat.

"What is it Dad? What's wrong?" I asked, panic rushing through me.

"Bella seems to be having a nightmare." He replied calmly, but I could still hear the stress in his voice.

"A nightmare makes sense after all she's been through." Emmett interjected. "What's the emergency?"

"The emergency is that she is sedated, and your mother can't wake her up. She is thrashing about and could possibly hurt herself further."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was terrified and there was nothing we could do about it? I couldn't accept that. As the trees flew past with increasing speed, I struggled to contain myself. My left leg bounced uncontrollably as my hands wrung and fidgeted in anticipation of action. _Bella was suffering._ That thought scrolled through my mind like a digital signboard, blinking its torturous message over and over, increasing my agitation to the point that I was nearly dizzy with worry by the time we made the final turn. The gates to the property swung open agonizingly slow, and by the time the car made it to the front of the house I was so anxious that I threw open my door and jumped out before it even fully stopped. Dad was yelling something about being careful, but all I cared about was getting to Bella. I ran up the steps and threw the front doors open only to be paralyzed by a bloodcurdling scream. The scream was filled with so much agony that it sucked the air from my lungs and knocked me to my knees like a punch to the gut.

My father rushed past me spouting orders to Emmett and Jasper to keep me back as he ran up the stairs. Two sets of strong hands were brought down on my shoulders; part comfort, part restraint. But as another haunting scream echoed through the house, I suddenly felt I had the strength of ten men. Shoving both my brothers off me, I darted for the stairs. I could feel them both in pursuit, but I had always been faster and I easily evaded them. I had to get to her, and nothing was going to stop me. But when I got to the door, I suddenly wished something had.

The sight I was now witnessing would haunt me until the day I die. I just stood there, dazed like an idiot, as I took in the scene in front of me. Bella was still on her stomach, with my mother and Alice each holding one of her hands as they desperately tried to restrain her from thrashing into something. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Bella was screaming and struggling, all while still unconscious. She couldn't be woken and she couldn't be calmed. In the struggle, the sheet that was covering her had slipped down, and I could now see that even my worst imagination of what was on her back was nothing compared to what was actually there. It was the most gruesome sight I had ever seen. Every inch of her back was covered in angry, raised, purple welts. And there were several areas where her skin had split open under marks that appeared to be in the shape of a belt buckle. As if that wasn't the most horrific thing I could imagine, she kicked again, causing the sheet to fly up and expose her calves and feet. It was all I could do to keep from vomiting. The backs of her calves and the even the bottoms of her feet were covered in the same fashion as her back, and I knew then, that not one inch of the entire back side of her body had been spared.

As I stood there, trying to swallow back the bile in my throat, I was suddenly pushed aside as my father flew past me into the room wielding a syringe and a vile of medication. As I watched him, I became unexpectedly furious over what I was seeing.

"STOP! What are you doing?" I demanded.

"I'm going to sedate her again. Get her further under. Esme, hold her arm still."

"NO! Don't! You could make it worse! She needs to wake up, not stay asleep!" I argued, moving forward into the room. It was a rare thing for me to defy my father, but I could not allow this. Could he not see that he would be trapping her further into her nightmare? It was as if she was being held just below the surface of the water, and instead of throwing her a life-preserver, he wanted to hand her a boulder.

"Edward, I'm not going to debate this with you! She needs to calm down, now!"

I ignored him and turned on my mother and sister.

"Mom! Alice! Let her go! Can't you see you're upsetting her? Do you really think _restraining_ her is going to make her feel safe? Just let her go!"

I rushed forward and stepped between Alice and Bella taking her hand from Alice and blocking my father. But instead of holding it tightly, I held it with only a slight amount of pressure and rubbed light soothing circles on her palm while cooing frantically into her ear.

"Bella? It's Edward. Calm down sweetheart. You're safe. I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you I promise."

She began to settle down a bit. My mother let go of her other hand and Bella turned her head towards me. Even in her unconscious state, she seemed to gravitate to the sound of my voice. There were tears flowing freely down her cheeks, but her screams had subdued to continuous heartbreaking whimpers. Speaking constantly to her, I said anything I could to calm and reassure her. She was actually responding to me, and I couldn't believe it. I looked up to see my family's reaction, and that's when I saw my father resume his advance with the needle.

"Please don't." I breathlessly begged, abruptly exhausted from the trauma of the day. "She's calming down now. Please don't force her." The pain in my voice was so thick that he stopped, and just looked at me for a moment. Turmoil raged in his eyes as he debated in his head what he should do. Finally, he sighed and capped the exposed needle. Blowing out a sharp breath of relief, I nodded my thanks and returned my attention to Bella. My mother replaced the sheet over her broken frame as my father lead Alice's shaking form to the door, where he called for Jasper to come and take her away.

"Stay with me, Bella." I whispered to her. Then, not being able to think of anything else to say, I just began to hum. The melody was nothing I had ever known before, but when I looked at her it was the melody I heard. It was soft and haunting, as it rose and fell in the soothing way of a lullaby. I imagined her laying peacefully in my arms as we looked out over our meadow. The strains carried the lightness of the birds and the heaviness of the waterfall as it crashed into the lake below. Her beauty was woven through the notes as they blended and danced through my mind.

Eventually, Bella calmed down completely, and her breathing returned to a slow, peaceful rhythm as I continued to hum to her and stroke her hand.

It was some time before I noticed my parents whispering in the corner. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but after a few minutes they embraced. Dad met my curious eyes with an unreadable expression before he turned and left the room. My mom approached me then, draping a reassuring arm around my shoulders as she kissed the top of my head. She then settled into the chair next to me and closed her eyes, looking extremely spent. My mind raced with various scenarios of what my parents had been discussing. I had no clue what my father had been thinking before he left. Was he upset with me for my defiance? Would he keep me from Bella? That last thought, though irrational, sent a wave of panic through me, and after a few more moments, I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"How mad at me is Dad?" I quietly asked.

"Oh, Sweetheart, he's not mad at you. He's actually quite proud. We both are. You've handled yourself remarkably well in a very difficult situation. Besides, he's not one to argue with results, and Bella resting comfortably now is all that matters to him. It doesn't matter how it happened."

"I just feel so helpless." My voice broke on the last word as a tear slid down my face.

"Oh, Sweetie," My mom said as her arms enveloped me in a hug. "I know, honey. I know. We all do. She has a long and painful road in front of her, both physically and mentally, and it's going to be difficult to walk it with her. But we must be strong for her. She's fighting, and so must we. And there may be times when we must fight _for_ her because she can't do it for herself. She's going to need all of us. Just please, promise me one thing?"

I turned my face towards her and looked into her pleading eyes expectantly.

"I know how you like to keep things bottled up. Please, please, _please_, do _not_ bottle this up. This is too much for _anyone_ to handle alone."

"I promise, Mom."

We sat quietly for the next couple of hours, only interrupted occasionally by Bella's unconscious whimpers. It was during those times that I found that if I started humming again, she would settle right back down.

I just stared at her. She was still so beautiful. I leaned down and lightly kissed her swollen and blackened eye, before gently kissing her bloated, split lip. I didn't dare touch anywhere close to her back, but I did kiss the ligature marks on her wrists. Anger swirled throughout my body as my mind wandered to those responsible for marking her in such a horrific manner. I had never seen true evil until I looked it directly in the eyes earlier that day, and the thought that my Bella spent even one second alone with them was more than I could bear. Murderous thoughts overtook me, giving me the sensation that I was literally going insane before my thoughts changed again. Overwhelming grief now forced the anger aside as my emotions seemed to be spinning on a roulette wheel.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I whispered to her as I laid my forehead down on the edge of the bed.

More time passed, and I refused to give in to the stiffness in my back from sitting so long in the same position. Instead, I passed the time marveling at the small hand gently encased in my own. Making sure I kept the pressure light, I held it with the reverence that my treasure required. She had owned me from the moment I laid eyes on her in biology class. The memory almost seeming as though it happened a lifetime ago, instead of just a few short weeks, and I found myself lamenting over the fact that we should be sitting in class instead of sitting here in this living nightmare.

I gazed often upon the unconquerable beauty of this broken angel's face, resuming her hummed lullaby at the slightest pucker of her brow. Her pain was mine, and as time continued to march on, I thought I could feel her pain ghosting through my body. My parents, each at different times, tried to persuade me to take a break. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there, and I was so tired, but even with Alice's return I just couldn't bring myself to leave her. In fact, I wasn't sure there was anything that could pry me away from her until I heard the words that would shatter my heart into a million pieces. She was mumbling in her sleep.

"Edward…moon…so sorry…"

Four little words and I was destroyed. There was an ache building rapidly in my throat, as my vision steadily decreased into blurriness. My breathing became short and shallow. I could hear voices, but they seemed so far away. The world had lost all reason and meaning and I had to force my brain to realize what my heart was screaming… she had endured unimaginable torture and where was I? I was sitting on a rock, looking at the moon like a fool. She was screaming, and I was sighing. She was being bound, and I was picking at flowers. She was being viciously violated, and I was relaxing. She was being whipped bloody, and I was star gazing.

I gently laid her hand down and retracted my trembling fingers. Blinking once, I heard my tear plop on the sheet that covered her. And then I was running.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! See ya next week!**


	16. Agony

**Disclaimer****: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot and awesome memories of a certain triple feature. ;)**

**A/N: Thank you to my fantastic beta **_**timeaovergain**_** for getting this back so quickly. You rock girl!**

**Thank you, as always, to the amazing **_**CatMasters**_** for pre-reading. And a huge "welcome aboard" to the incredible **_**Hev99,**_** who has joined the TMM team permanently as a full-time pre-reader. I could not be more thrilled to have both of these awesome ladies! :) **

**Ok…on with the show… Alice is going to step in and take over after a bit, since neither Edward or Bella are in any shape to tell the story. Catch ya on the flip side…**

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Chapter 16: Agony

**EPOV**

I could feel the wind in my hair and the steadily building burn in my legs as I pushed myself faster and faster through the woods. The sensation, that normally brought me such joy, was now just another bitter reminder of my good health and intact body. My lungs finally began to protest and I welcomed the torment as I continued to hurl my body towards its breaking point. The longer I ran, the more my vision blurred and I soon found myself tripping over exposed roots and being slapped in the face and body by wayward branches. The long, thin offshoots bit my flesh over and over, but the stinging sensation was only a fraction of what my Bella had endured. The realization of which sent me to my knees as I crashed through the last of the brush and into our meadow. A scream of agony ripped through my body and echoed off the rock formation that was "our spot", as my eyes burned and expelled what tears they could in my now dehydrated state. I tried to close them for a minute, but was instantly treated to a slide show of Bella's mangled body. Flashes of welts, cuts, black eyes, split lips, broken bones, and the blank look in her eyes swirled through my mind and sent the contents of my stomach into the undergrowth.

Lacking the energy to stand, I crawled a few feet away and collapsed in the last of the lush grass before it faded into winter. The last time Bella and I were here together, just a few short days before, the meadow was still alive in vibrant colors. But now, a harsh early chill had prematurely stolen its vitality. Just like the light in my Bella's eyes had been stolen by the cruelest of thieves.

And still, I could not believe that after everything she had gone through, she was sorry for not looking at the moon with me. How was that possible? How did she not hate me for sending her back? I knew she didn't want to go, and I knew something was really wrong. But I didn't push when I should have. I should've made her tell me. That day on the rocks when she flinched as she leaned against me; I bet he had beaten her then and she was too afraid to tell me. How could I have been so stupid? All the signs were there. I should have done something. Anything. If I had, then maybe she would have been sitting here with me now, cuddled under a blanket and enjoying the changing colors. Instead, she was lying upstairs enduring the heinous results of an excruciating torture.

My hands flew to my head, gripping my hair in a desperate attempt to pull the images from my mind, as a scream, primal and raw, ignited my throat on its way out. My heart, still beating fast and hard from exertion, began to beat faster and faster until it felt as though it had exploded. I cried out in pain as the pieces of my shattered heart seemingly embedded themselves into all my vital organs, causing the sensation of a giant hole being punched through my chest. My breathing became rapid and shallow, my head began to spin, and the blackness of despair rose up and consumed me.

*0*0*0*

**APOV**

Bella was whimpering in her sleep again. She'd been more agitated since Edward left. She only woke up long enough to swallow some pain medication and some much needed fluids. She was adamant about not wanting an I.V. so we had to wake her every couple of hours so that she could drink. When awake, she stoically sat up a bit to drink, but in her sleep her body betrayed her with moans, whimpers and even occasional screams of anguish. Every sound was like a razor blade to my heart, and as her most recent scream dissipated, I had to take a break.

Edward had been gone for a couple of hours now and everyone was starting to worry. I had only once in my life before seen a look as agonizing as what was displayed on his face before he bolted. It was as if someone had impaled him. It was bad enough the first time one of my brothers wore that expression, but to witness it on the other as well was nearly more than I could bear.

I had a feeling I knew where he had gone, so I told my mom I was going to check on him and headed out the back door, grabbing a bottle of water and his bypassed coat on the way. It was getting colder as we headed into fall and the moisture under the forest canopy put an extra chill in the air.

I had found Edward's meadow one day last year when I was trying out a cute new hiking outfit and boots. It was breathtakingly gorgeous, so alive with nature's hustle and bustle, yet so soothing at the same time. I had been so enchanted by its beauty that I had an overwhelming urge to frolic through the wildflowers, and I was just about to do so when I noticed Edward sitting above me on a small rock formation at the edge of the clearing. His expression was so reverent as he communed with the elements, that I felt as though I was intruding on sacred ground. So I quietly retreated, and never returned. After that, I noticed that every time he went for a walk, he would return so calm. I was happy he had found a place of solace to go to when things got rough. And I knew he had taken Bella there as well, while she stayed with us last week. The meadow had worked its magic on her too. I could see it in her eyes whenever they returned from it.

Thoughts of her so relaxed had begun to bring a smile to my face. It felt a little strange to smile with everything going on, but I was just glad to have a happy image to cling to in an effort to keep the most recent images of her at bay. So I clung to the memory of her smiling, of her peaceful, of her excitement at not having to go to school for a week, of her rolling her eyes at me as I sent her into yet another dressing room. I don't really know what that last one was about. Honestly, how can anyone not want to shop?

I was brought out of my reverie by an odd strangled sound. I wondered briefly if an animal had been injured, but then I realized that I was only a few yards from the meadow and that that wounded animal was my brother. Running through the remaining forest, I plowed my way into the meadow and was stopped dead in my tracks by the sight before me. Edward was curled in on himself on the forest floor. There were small sobs ripping through his shuddering chest and gurgling out his throat like aftershocks of a great earthquake. He was trembling violently, his lips blue against his paler than usual face. I could smell the nearby result of his earlier sickness and immediately reached for my phone. My finger hovered over Jasper's speed dial number when I heard his strangled whisper.

"Please Alice. Don't call anyone."

I rushed to his side.

"Edward. I don't think I can get you back to the house alone."

"I can't go back. Not yet."

Wrapping his coat around him, I helped him sit up so he could rinse his mouth with the water and then drink. I had to help steady his hand so he didn't spill the water and once he was done drinking; I recapped the bottle and began rubbing his arms to warm him.

"It hurts." He whimpered as he laid his head on my shoulder.

"I know sweetie, I know. I feel it too." I whispered back while raking my fingers through his unruly hair. I felt him relax a bit, and as he warmed, his shivers began to lessen. As Edward began to settle down, I took the opportunity to shoot Jasper a quick text. Edward saw me but was too depleted to put up an argument. Instead, he just sighed before he began to quietly speak.

"I failed her Alice." His voice was so full of despair that I felt a literal pain in my chest as I held my suffering twin.

"No Edward. You didn't fail her. I did. She would never blame you."

"You can't know that."

"Oh, wonder twin, you can't take this all on yourself." I pleaded. I honestly don't remember a time in our lives when Edward wasn't susceptible to massive guilt trips. No matter what anyone said, he always took so much on his shoulders that was not his responsibility. He tried not to let it show, but I always knew. He could never hide anything from me.

"Don't you get it Alice?" He pulled out of my embrace, becoming increasingly aggravated as he continued. "She's laying there actually thinking that she failed _me _by not looking at the stupid moon at the same time I was! How can she think that? After everything she had just gone through, _that's_ what she's worried about? Some ridiculous promise to me?"

He was on his feet now, pacing for a moment before something caught his eye. He bent down and picked up part of a fallen branch, slightly larger in length and girth than a baseball bat. He stared at it as if it held some secret he needed to decode, before gripping it tightly in both hands. Wielding the branch like a knight charging into battle, he lunged for the nearest tree and began hacking away at the trunk in a rage completely uncharacteristic of my brother. Pieces of bark and splintered wood flew all around him as he continued his tirade.

"HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO HER?" The pain in his agonized scream pricked my eyes with tears as I watched him. "HE'S HER FATHER! HER_ FATHER_! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER! HOW COULD HE?"

On the final blow, his weapon of choice at last succumbed to the pressure and split cleanly in two across the now damaged trunk. The severed half flew several feet away crunching into the thick brush, followed by the other half as Edward coiled back and threw it as far as he could. Breathing hard, and slightly unsteady he turned to face me. I expected the anger to still be evident on his face, but was surprised when instead, he looked completely defeated.

"And what happens when she realizes that I was just sitting on a rock doing nothing as she was getting beaten to within an inch of her life? She's going to know that I was weak and didn't protect her. She's going to hate me Alice!"

His voice cracked on his last statement and he fell to his knees with renewed anguish. I rushed to him and wrapped my arms around him, my own tears now flowing freely down my face.

"She won't hate you Edward. I don't think she's capable of that."

His long arms grabbed hold of me fiercely, as if I was the only thing keeping him from falling over the edge of a cliff, as we both cried for our friend.

I wanted nothing more in that moment then to lie down, and let the guilt consume me. I should have said something to someone. I should have never let her go home. The sight of her maimed flesh was burned into my brain. The sound of her screams, etched onto my heart. But as I thought of these things I began to feel something new. Anger. Anger at those who did this to my sister, and I decided right then and there that there was no room for feeling sorry for ourselves. We screwed up. _I_ screwed up. But it happened and I couldn't change that. What I _could_ do, was ensure that my friend healed, and never had to endure anything like that ever again. I would personally see to it that my family pulled it together and saw her through this. She was hurt and she needed us, and that's all there was to it.

With my new resolve firmly in place, I took a deep breath and made Edward my first assignment. I dried my eyes, gave him a tight squeeze, and went to work.

"Edward?"

He was so exhausted that all he offered was a slight nod of his head to tell me he was listening.

"Listen, I understand where you're coming from. I do. And I want to thank you for trusting me  
with your feelings. I also want you to know that I love you, and I believe in you. But this guilt you feel won't help anyone, especially Bella. You are strong, and kind, and sincere. You are loyal, and your protective nature is a credit to you. You are also _not _alone. You have a family who loves you and will always be there for you. You can do this, Edward. She needs you."

"I don't know how." He choked out. His hands had found purchase in his haphazard locks, tugging painfully hard as he rocked slightly back and forth. I placed my hands over his, and with gentle effort I managed to get him to release his grip. I didn't really know how to answer him, and relief flooded through me as my back-up arrived just in time.

"Just be whatever she needs you to be." Jasper's sweet drawl interjected as he slowly approached us. "Be her champion, her punching bag, her shoulder to cry on. Whatever she needs, and as her needs change."

Edward just sighed and nodded, allowing me to breathe for what seemed like the first time since I found him, as we both allowed Jasper to take over.

"C'mon. Let's get you home." Jasper grunted as he hauled Edward to his feet. "A hot shower, a good meal, and a few hours sleep will help you a ton, bro."

Edward reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently while giving me an exhausted look of sincere thanks.

"Anytime." I mouthed back to him. He smiled slightly, and with one arm securely around Jasper's shoulders and his other hand tucked in mine, we headed home. Praying all the way that we would find Bella resting peacefully when we got there.

* * *

**A/N: Gather up and stay together as group. There's strength in numbers as we all head back to check on Bella. I've got fresh batteries for the flashlights.**

**I have another rec for you…Encore by Leelan Oleander. Check out this amazing journey of growth and discovery amid great tragedy. It's near completion but there's a sequel on the way. :) **

**Thanks for reading! Have a great week! **


	17. Burning

**Disclaimer****: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot and 4 mosquito bites that are driving me insane.**

**A/N: Thanks to **_**timaovergain **_**for gifting me with her Beta skills. And to **_**CatMasters**_** and **_**Hev99**_** for Pre-Reading and total mind-blowing amazingness! I love you girls!**

**Let's check in and see how Bella's getting along…**

* * *

Chapter 17: Burning

**BPOV**

I had been burning for three days. It was like Charlie lashed me with fire and my skin was still smoldering. On the first day, Carlisle had offered to catheterize me so that I didn't have to endure the agony of getting up to use the bathroom. Unfortunately, this happened a lot more often than I would have liked, thanks to all the fluids he had made me drink. But, desperate to hang on to any dignity that might have remained in me, I refused. I had very nearly given in the previous day though…

"_OK, Dad. Out. Bella's gotta go."_

_As Carlisle left the room and shut the door, I looked up at my best friend confused._

_"Alice, I didn't say anything. How do you know I need to go?" My voice was quiet and hoarse._

_"Bella, you've had the 'I've gotta go' look in your eyes for the last half hour. Don't think I don't notice these things. I know you're just avoiding having to get up. If you truly can't stand it, I'll call my dad back in to insert the catheter, but I know you don't want that and I think you can do it."_

_I didn't want to disappoint her, so I took a deep preparatory breath and nodded._

_She pulled the sheet gently from me, and much like I had that first morning I began to work my legs towards the side of the bed. I gasped as my tender flesh was pulled and stretched as I lowered my legs slowly to the floor. The sudden blood rush felt like an accelerant reigniting my charred limbs, eliciting a larger shriek than I was wanting. _

_"Bella? You OK?" Her patient yet urgent concern was amazing to me. She had to be exhausted from all the time she had spent helping me._

_"F-fine." I panted. "Just give me a sec."_

_I took a few deep breaths and began to push myself up. Alice held my arm to steady me as I closed my eyes to let the head rush pass. The room spun with amazing speed, which only succeeded in aggravating my near constant state of low level nausea to a dangerous point, so I took a few more cleansing breaths in an attempt to hold it at bay. __When I finally felt steady, or at least steady enough, I began my ten step trek to the adjoining bathroom. It was a very slow and arduous trip and at about step four, to my horror, I began to realize I wasn't going to make it. I had waited too long and with all the damage between my legs I had been finding it difficult to control my bladder. Carlisle had said it was normal and would heal like everything else, but right then I was in trouble._

_"Um, Alice?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I'm not going to make it." My voice was laced with panic and I could practically hear the wheels spinning in Alice's head searching for a solution. Suddenly, she grabbed hold of the desk chair and pulled it out._

_"Here, hold on to this. I'll get something to help you." _

_She rushed out of the room, leaving me propped against a desk chair and desperate. Nearly the second after she left, I began to feel urine trickling down my legs, and then it was as if everything went into slow motion. As the warm fluid ran down my legs it was joined by warm tears running down my cheeks. I was mortified, and as the full realization of what was happening hit me, my knees began to buckle. Frantically, I grasped at the chair back but I wasn't strong enough to sustain my weight and I began to sink to the floor. I cried out with force as my legs folded and the backs of them crashed together, as I hit the floor with a thud. The pain was so intense that my stomach rolled and vomit seared its way up my raw throat and out my mouth. I couldn't move. I was stuck, naked, lying in pools of my own vomit and urine. My body twitched in odd ways as my brain tried to process the pain, while my chest heaved in sobs at my utter humiliation._

_Alice came rushing back in carrying a small pot, freezing the moment she saw me, her eyes widening in shock. Her mouth, previously agape, twisted ruefully. She was upset, and I couldn't blame her. I felt horrible for the mess I had made. Maybe they would finally see what Charlie had always seen, that I was more trouble than I was worth. _

_"Oh my gosh! MOM!" She yelled. _

_Esme. I groaned a little as my thoughts turned to my stand-in mother of the previous weeks. She had always been so kind to me, and now she would finally see that all her time and effort had been wasted._

_"Bella! Are you alright? What happened? I was gone for like 57 seconds!"_

_I tried to speak. To tell her how sorry I was. But every time I tried all I managed to make was a strangled moan sound. I felt so pathetic. The door opened then and Esme hurried in._

_"Oh my poor dear." She cooed as she rushed over to me. "What happened?"_

_Alice launched into the story of what had happened and then the two of them discussed what the best course of action should be. I tuned out most of it. It didn't matter to me what they chose to do, because there was just no way to do anything that allowed me to keep any self-respect. All I could do was just lie there and concentrate on not vomiting again. They must have decided because it was Esme's voice that called me back to their presence. She sounded kind of mournful. That can't be good._

_"Bella, sweetie, we weren't going to try this for a couple more days, but I don't think we can wait anymore now. We're going to have to put you in the shower."_

_What? I can't. I can barely handle the weight of the sheet. How am I going to handle the pressure of a shower? It went so well the last time I tried. I looked up at her with as much panic as I could communicate through one good eye and one now half open eye._

_"I know this is scary dear, but Alice and I will be there with you the whole time. We understand it will hurt and we'll be as quick as we can about it."_

_My head slumped back to the floor in defeat. Alice ran from the room as Esme hustled into the bathroom. I could hear the menacing sound of my soon to be torture chamber hiss to life. On some level I knew they were right. This was the only way to get me clean after the mess I made. And maybe this is what I deserved for making such a mess, but still, the thought of it made me start to shake with fear._

_Alice soon returned and just before she entered the room I heard her sternly say, "Keep him back, Jazz. No matter what you hear."_

_I felt dizzy at the implication of her words and fresh tears pricked my eyes. She came in and closed the door, and I saw that she was now wearing a green one-piece swimsuit. She came over and together, she and Esme helped me back to my feet. I held my breath to keep from screaming. They each held one arm and helped me down what now felt like death row and into the bathroom. Once inside, Esme pointed the water spray down so we could get in without it touching us. Climbing in first, Alice quickly got herself set and then helped me over the edge of the tub. We stood face to face and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She held her arms out like hooks under my armpits. She couldn't hold onto me, but this would ensure I wouldn't fall if I let go._

_"Are you ready Bella?" Esme asked._

_I took a deep breath, held it and nodded. She raised the shower head and I couldn't help the scream as it made contact with my skin. It felt like a hundred belts hitting me at once. I was instantly sobbing and in my overwhelming state of pain, I began to beg like a child._

_"Please, stop!" I wept. "I'll be good I promise! I'll clean up my mess and I won't do it again! Just please, stop… I-I can't t-take it."_

_"Shhhhh, Bella. It's ok. I've got you." Alice soothed. "You can do this Bella. You're strong and brave." She continued to speak, but I could no longer comprehend what she was saying._

_Esme's hands were meant to be gentle as she endeavored to wash me as quickly as possible, but the searing pain was constant. I bawled on Alice's shoulder and cried out when, often, the touch was too much. _

_The shower mercifully ended and they set about the task of getting me dry. Esme lightly patted my back dry and then Alice held me at arm's length so that my front could get dried as well. I was so exhausted by this point that I became a little wobbly and Alice pulled me back close to her._

_"Whoa there." She said. "I think we'd better get you back to bed."_

_They helped me back to the bed and once there I was slowly lowered onto what I noticed were clean sheets. I also noticed that my mess was cleaned up. Who did it? I don't know why, but this really confused me and I started to tear up again in frustration. While Esme and Alice were bustling around the bathroom cleaning up, I noticed voices in the hallway. _

_"What's going on in there?" It was Edward's voice. I panicked at what he would think of me after what just happened. It was bad enough that he knew my shame; I didn't think I would be able to live with myself if he found out why I had to shower._

_"Nothing. She's fine." It was… Rosalie's voice? _

_"Don't tell me she's fine when I've been listening to her scream for nearly half an hour! What is going on? What's in the bags, and why do you have cleaning supplies? You don't clean!" _

_Edward sounded so angry. I didn't like it. This wasn't my Edward. My Edward was kind and gentle, but this...this made him sound too much like _him._ I cringed at the thought before realizing that I had just referred to Edward as _my _Edward. A lump grew in my throat as I grasped the fact that he would never be _my_ Edward again. I was never good for him really, and now I wasn't even good enough to shine his shoes. Continued thoughts of my total inadequacy ran rampant until they were suddenly stopped by something else. Rosalie had cleaning supplies? She cleaned my mess and changed my sheets? Why?_

_"If you must know, and obviously you seem to think you must, I was simply tidying up while Bella took a shower. It was painful for her, but she's out now and resting. She'll probably be asleep soon, so you can see her then, like you usually do."_

_I heard one set of footsteps retreating and one set begin to pace. Edward. _

_Did I hear that right? Edward sits with me when I'm asleep? Why would he do that?_

_Alice and Esme came back over to the bed, one on each side, and they gently laid the sheet over me. Esme then kissed my forehead and left with the wet towels as Alice sat down and started to brush out my hair. While my body heat regulated under the sheet I could still feel the inferno of the shower, and I cried quietly into my pillow out of pain, embarrassment, and complete dejection._

_"Alice?" I whimpered. "Please ask your dad to insert the catheter. I can't take this anymore."_

_"No." Huh?_

_"What?"_

_"You heard me. N.O. NO!" I was a bit taken aback by her forcefulness, and for some stupid reason, it hurt my feelings and I started to cry harder._

_"W-why?" I managed._

_"Because you don't need it. And you don't want it. You're just embarrassed about what happened earlier, which I understand but you totally don't need to feel that way. Nobody cares about anything except that you're in pain and we want to help you."_

_Her logic made no sense to me._

_"Then help me by giving me the catheter. That will help my pain." _

_"There's more than one kind of pain Bella, and by accepting the catheter you will be giving up, to a certain extent. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. I don't think I could have endured what you have endured and still be standing. You can do this. You won't be happy with yourself if you give up now. Those creeps took your blood, and they took your innocence. Don't let them take your spirit too."_

_But isn't that exactly what they did? I didn't want them to, but I also didn't know how to prevent it. I could feel myself slipping away and I'm not even sure I wanted to stop it anyway. What was the point?_

_My eyelids began moving slower and slower as my tiredness took over, but before I slept I wanted at least one small puzzle solved. _

_"Alice? Does Edward sit with me while I sleep?"_

_She stopped brushing my hair so that I could turn my head to look at her._

_"Yes, he does."_

_There was a pleading in her eyes, like she feared my reaction. I wasn't angry though, just confused._

_"Why would he do that? Doesn't he know that I'm not good enough for him? Especially now?"_

_"Oh Bella, please don't say such things. He's so desperately worried about you, but he didn't want to upset you when you were awake so he sits with you when you're asleep. He hums to you when you're restless and it calms you down. He knows that what happened wasn't your fault, and he only cares that you're safe." _

_She was so emphatic with her pleading, and I know she believed the things she was saying, but how could I? There's no way that Edward won't view me differently. Maybe not now, but he'll figure it out soon enough. He's a perfect prince and I'm a used and broken pauper. We just come from two different worlds and neither one of us belong in the others._

_I felt Alice kiss my tear soaked cheek as exhaustion overcame me._

_._

I shuddered at yesterday's memory. It was by far the most humiliating experience of my miserable life, and as I lay in bed for yet another day of excruciating grief and pain, my desire to even heal my physical wounds began to wane. Did it really matter anymore? After all, I was tainted now. Maybe Charlie was right. Maybe I did deserve to be punished.

And the Cullen's. They had treated me so much better than I deserved. But after the previous day's incident, I simply began going through the motions of my increasingly depressing existence, with little desire to interact with anyone more than necessary. They all gave me looks of varying degrees of concern, and I knew that should be important, but I just couldn't figure out why. It didn't make sense to me. I was nobody. And worse than that, I was a broken nobody. It was then that I vowed to myself that as soon as I was able, I would relieve them of their useless burden.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Bella is really, yet quite understandably, messed up. It gonna be tough for a while. :(**

**Rec for this week is This Is Not My Life by Isakassees. This is in the top of my all time favs. It's harrowing, humorous, and just downright amazing. It's on its epi, but that just means you won't have to suffer the agony of waiting for updates. ;)**

**Thanks for reading! See ya next week! :)**


	18. Barren

**Disclaimer****: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the plot and a dead plant that I can't get rid of because a sweet little bird couple has built a nest in it. *sigh***

**A/N: Thank you to my Beta **_**timeaovergain**_** for fixing my mistakes and making it readable.**

**Thank you to **_**Hev99**_** for pre-reading, hand-holding, and general bind-blowing awesomeness! **

**Thank you to **_**CatMasters**_** for pre-reading and sticking with me. This chapter is dedicated to her. I hope you have a better day today sweets! :)**

* * *

Chapter 18: Barren

**EPOV**

It had been eight days since Bella's birthday. Her body continued to heal slowly, but steadily. At least I thought it was healing. For the previous six days she had barely spoken a word, or even made a sound at all for that matter. She screamed, groaned, moaned, and whimpered for two straight days and then…nothing. Like a switch had been flipped off. She wouldn't talk to anyone beyond one word answers, and on the third day, I came home to find Alice sitting on Jasper's lap and crying hysterically…

_"Alice?" I rushed over in a panic. "Alice! What is it? Is Bella OK?" _

_She couldn't speak for a moment and my mind reeled through the possibilities. Did Bella fall? Was she hurt even worse? Did she have an infection in her wounds? And even though I could barely wrap my mind around the feasibility, was it possible that he father took her back? I was about to lose my mind if Alice hadn't spoken when she did. _

_"Oh, Edward!" She sobbed. "She won't take any more pain medication!"_

_I quickly tried to shake off my panic as the relief of her words set in. That wasn't so bad. Maybe she was feeling better. But then she continued._

_"And...and then...she rolled onto her back. Her BACK, Edward! And she didn't even make any sound. She just rolled over like nothing happened. But I know it hurt. Her face turned white as a ghost when her back made contact with the bed. I begged her to roll back, but she refused! Why would she do something like that to herself?"_

_I was stunned. "I don't know, tiny twin." I sighed, shaking my head slightly. "I just don't know." My mind felt like it was on a drag strip, being thrown once again into overdrive. Bella was hurting herself on purpose? What could that mean? Maybe it wasn't what we thought. Maybe it was something simple; like she just couldn't find a comfortable position to lie in. That could make sense. Or maybe she really _was _feeling better. I tried so hard to find the easy answer while all along a deep sense of dread was steadily overtaking me. I just didn't want to believe she would hurt herself like that, yet I had a horrible feeling that that is exactly what she did. But why? _

_"I know." Said a quiet voice behind us._

_We all turned in surprise to see Rosalie hovering in the doorway. Aside from our little confrontation in the hallway the day before, it was the first time any of us had heard her speak in three days. Alice immediately hopped up and ran over to her, embracing her tightly before grabbing her by the hand and leading her back to the couch. She then pulled Rose down next to her, never letting go of her hand. _

_We patiently waited for Rose to speak. She seemed like she was trying to gather enough courage to talk again. Alice switched hands so that she was now holding Rose's right hand with her right and then she wrapped her left arm around Rose's shoulders. A few reassuring squeezes from Alice and a few deep breaths later, Rose began to softly speak._

_"She thinks she deserves it. The pain, that is. She serving a self-imposed penance because she thinks she's been dirtied."_

_This quiet declaration pounded through us like deafening thunder. We had never thought of it, but once Rosalie said it, it all made perfect sense. My pulse pounded in my ears. It was one of my worst fears confirmed. My sweet, innocent angel had been made to think that she was tainted. It was a vicious lie, and somehow I had to find a way to make her see that. _

_"How do we make her stop?" Alice whispered, too horrified to speak._

_"We can't." Rose answered. "All we can do is show her acceptance and love, and hope she can pull herself through."_

It had seemed so simple at the time. We had already been showing her acceptance and love, but now on day eight we were all completely exhausted and Bella had retreated into herself even further.

Dad had insisted that everyone but Rosalie return to school today. Even though Rose had begun speaking more, Mom thought she was still just a little bit too unstable to return to school. It was disturbing to everyone to see Rose regress, but at least it didn't seem as bad as it was before. Of course we all completely understood and Emmett collected all her assignments, while I collected Bella's. School had been a haze of irrelevance, passing at an excruciatingly slow pace. But it was over now and after I collected all of my siblings in the parking lot we were finally headed home.

As soon as I parked the Volvo, I headed as quickly as I could up to check on Bella. Alice beat me there and had already gone in. As per our daily routine, I waited nervously outside the door for her to come back out and tell me whether or not it was okay for me to go in. After what felt like the longest sixty seconds on earth the door opened and my mom came out. Her normally immaculate appearance had been traded for a tired, disheveled look. Her hair was tied back into a messy bun, and she now had deep purple shadows beneath her eyes. I looked up at her and she met my expectant eyes with dejected ones.

"No change I'm afraid." She sighed.

"May I go in?"

She debated my request for a moment, drawing out the agony of my anticipation even further.

"She's awake but I'm not sure she'll even know you're there. I'll let you go in if you promise to proceed cautiously, and leave immediately if she becomes upset."

"Of course, Mom." She kissed my cheek and headed off towards her bedroom to hopefully get some much needed rest.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. This will be the first time I've seen her awake since the day we brought her here. I knocked softly before slowly opening the door, praying all the while that she wouldn't kick me right back out.

In the last few days I had heard my dad throw around terms like PTSD, depressed and catatonic. So I wasn't surprised at the state she was in, but it still broke my heart. She was lying on her side in the fetal position, staring at the wall. Alice was devotedly sitting by her bedside, filling her in on all the school gossip from the last week. I knew that Bella wouldn't care about it under any circumstance, but it made Alice feel better to chatter and it also let Bella know that she hadn't given up on her, so I didn't see the harm.

Alice greeted me as I walked in, watching Bella for a reaction. There was none, so I walked slowly over towards the bed. Bella had begun wearing one of Emmett's old t-shirts as a nightgown. It was soft and hung to her mid-thigh so that she could have a little more privacy. Alice had thrown a fit over it, but was appeased when she was told she could go shopping for something more proper once Bella was feeling better. I didn't care what she wore; she would always be beautiful to me.

Just before I got to the point where I would be in Bella's line of sight, I looked to Alice. She nodded her encouragement and I continued forward, focused on the chair next to the bed that was my goal. I sat down slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements. Bella's skin was ashen and from what I could see of her, she looked as if she had lost more weight. Her eyes were still on the wall, but I could see now that they were unfocused and disturbingly hollow. Her face was like a wasteland, barren of all emotion.

I cleared my throat, and never taking my eyes off of hers, I spoke.

"Bella? Love? It's Edward."

When I spoke I noticed her eyes flash ever so briefly in recognition, then despair, then back to nothing. It wasn't much, but at least I knew she was listening.

"I know Alice has filled you in on all the social aspects of school, but I have all your homework. It's not too much considering you've been out for a week, and I thought maybe we could work together and get it knocked out. What do you say?"

Nothing.

"You don't have to answer, it's ok. Maybe I could just read to you for now."

For the next couple of hours, Alice and I went through a lot of the missed material for the classes that we shared with Bella. We tried repeatedly to engage her with questions, but she never moved one muscle the whole time. She was in exactly the same position she was in when I came in, with exactly the same hollow look on her face. And much to my dismay, the brief flash of whatever it was in her eyes when I first began to speak had never returned.

After a short time more, Mom brought us some sandwiches and a meal shake for Bella. I watched as she held the straw to her lips and Bella sucked it down dutifully. It looked bizarre to me. Like less of a conscious act and more of an involuntary response. Her expression never changed, the only thing that moved was her lips as they closed around the straw. She swallowed the liquid in a slow, steady pace, never stopping until the sucking noise in the bottom of the cup indicated there was no more. Mom removed the straw and her mouth instantly returned to its previous relaxed line. It was like watching a robot, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't freak me out a little.

I couldn't take my eyes off Bella as I thanked my mom for the sandwich when she turned to leave. She opened the door, only to find Jasper and Emmett waiting outside.

"Hey Mom?" Emmett boomed. I swear that boy has only one volume. "Can we go in for a second? We have a present for Bella."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella jerk.

"Yeah," Jasper added. "We'll be quick. Can we please give her our presents?"

Bella was now visibly shaking, and even though her eyes were still unfocused, they were now glazing over with tears. What in the world was happening? I looked over at Alice who was just as befuddled as I was.

"Just make sure that you are quick about it." I heard Mom say.

I didn't know what to do so I reached out slowly to touch her arm. At the same time I made contact with her skin, Jasper and Emmett came through the door.

"Hey Bella," Emmett said. "We wanted to give you a present."

Suddenly, Bella began to scream and thrash around. She slapped my hand away with surprising force and scrambled off the bed and towards the corner. She pushed herself further and further into the corner as if she could make herself smaller and more hidden somehow, all the while begging and sobbing.

"Please! NO! Not again! Please don't hurt me again!" A constant stream of pleases and no's continued to fall from her lips. Her eyes, vacant before, now held stark terror.

"Jasper, Emmett, Edward! Out!" Mom ordered. Jasper and Emmett ran out as fast as they could, both apologizing profusely on their way. I knew I should feel bad for them. They would never hurt Bella on purpose. But right now, all I cared about was the fact that she was severely distressed.

"Edward!" said my mom sternly.

"Please, Mom. Maybe I can help." I turned back to Bella. Her cowering form looked so small.

"Bella? It's Edward. You're safe. I promise." She looked at me with dread and confusion, like she didn't recognize me. "You're safe. It's me Edward. You're at my house. Alice is here too, see?" Alice moved closer so that Bella could see her more clearly. I slowly moved toward her but stopped when her panic was renewed. She was clawing at floor and walls, trying desperately to escape the perceived danger, crying so hard now, that she was beginning to hyperventilate.

My adrenaline was flowing so much that it seemed like the only thing keeping me upright, because seeing Bella so broken like this was breaking _me_. Hearing my mom talking to my dad on the phone alarmed me a bit. She was calling him home to sedate her and after what happened before, I couldn't allow that. But that did remind me of something else, and I began to hum Bella's song.

She looked up at me where I was crouched a few feet from her, bewildered and gasping for air. I could see her struggling to make sense of what was right in front of her. Alice scooted ahead of me and put herself about halfway between Bella and myself. Bella's eyes, wide like hunted prey, frantically went back and forth between us, constantly assessing and reassessing our threat. As I continued to hum, Alice began speaking softly to her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, struggling to normalize her breathing. When she opened them back up I watched as comprehension began to fill them.

"Alice?" She choked out.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice exclaimed before launching herself at her. She wrapped her arms around her and Bella buried her face in her neck and wept. I was so relieved, and yet insanely jealous that my sister was holding what I treasured most and I could not. Selfishly, stupidly, and desperately, I reached out and lightly brushed my fingers on her arm.

"Bella?" She recoiled from my touch as if I was diseased.

"No, Edward. Please don't. I'm sorry…I…I can't." Her whisper was like acid on the tiny pieces of my heart. I backed off immediately, but it took a minute before I could order my body to stand. Completely crestfallen, I headed for the door. My mom's look of pity made my stomach constrict, and I hurried to my room running past my concerned brothers on the way. I rushed in and slammed the door, leaning my back against it as the first tear slid down my cheek.

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**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has put this story on alert and/or marked it as a favorite! It humbles me. Thank you to everyone one reads, and to those who review. You all seriously blow me away with your kind words and support! I love you all!**


	19. Misery Loves Company

Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own everything else.

***W*A*R*N*I*N*G* This chapter contain a recounting of rape and torture. **Please read with caution if you are sensitive and feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns.

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Chapter 19: Misery Loves Company

**BPOV**

For as long as I live, I will never forget the look on Edward's face as he left. The utter heartbreak of sending him away like that was so suffocating that I was afraid my breathing would stop altogether. My chest was hurting and I was beginning to feel a bit dizzy but I could not stop the sobs that were racking my body. I thought I heard Alice say "she's hyperventilating again," but it sounded like I was listening underwater. My fingers started to feel numb as my lungs were breathing in a shallow spasm. And then the room began to spin and fade into darkness.

*0*0*0*

I awoke in my bed with a pounding headache. Alice and Esme must have moved me after I passed out. My cheeks were still wet and as I began to remember what happened, my eyes pricked with fresh tears.

The flashback. The fear. Edward.

It was then that I realized Alice was lying next to me, gently running her fingers through my hair. I felt so conflicted and confused. I knew in my head that I was dirty and unworthy of any of the Cullen's, but my heart ached for someone to hold me and love me. They were the first ones to love me in five long years, and as much as I may hate myself for this later, I needed it. So I rolled into Alice and allowed her to cocoon me in her warm embrace. Her unquestioning kindness was enough to reopen the torrent of emotions inside me. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. She simply held me while I cried. And when I couldn't cry anymore, she held me until I fell asleep.

*0*0*0*

The next time I woke, the bright orange of the setting sun was peeking through the curtains. Alice was still lying with me, but her even breathing told me she had fallen asleep too.

A small knock at the door startled me and my sudden movement woke up Alice. The knock repeated and Alice cleared her throat and asked whoever it was to wait a minute. She then turned to me.

"Are you ok with me answering the door?"

I couldn't seem to find my voice so I simply nodded.

"OK. If you're sure." And then a little louder, "Come in."

The door opened slowly and revealed a very nervous looking Rosalie. It seemed a bit odd, as I had never seen Rosalie as anything but the picture of confidence before.

"May I speak with you Bella?" She timidly asked. My surprise paralyzed my tongue so again, I just nodded.

She looked at Alice. "Alone?"

"If it's ok with Bella." Alice said before addressing me. "Is that ok with you, Bella?"

Once again, all I could do was nod. I didn't know Rosalie very well, but something about her current demeanor made me think I should hear what she had to say.

Alice kissed me on the cheek, hopped off the bed and headed for the door. She gave Rosalie a quick hug and told her to call her if she needed her. And then she was gone, leaving me and Rosalie to stare at each other warily.

The door shut with a soft click and Rosalie headed over and sat next to me on the bed. My curiosity at this point was suppressing all my other emotions.

"Bella, how much do you know about me?" She asked quietly.

"Not much." I admitted with a raspy voice.

She nodded solemnly. "I think I should tell you my story. It might help you."

"Ok." I said shakily. The butterflies in my stomach were doing the Indy500. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear this right now, but I couldn't discount her effort to do something that was obviously very difficult for her. I watched her as she took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment, and then began her story.

"Bella? How much has Edward told you about Jasper and me?"

"Um...not much really." I replied sheepishly with a slight shrug. Rosalie simply nodded as if she wasn't surprised before continuing.

"Jasper and I grew up in Seattle. Our parents, Garrett and Kate, met in college there. They left only for a few years while my dad was in medical school. That's where he met Carlisle. They were study partners, and then friends, and by the time they graduated, they were like brothers. Carlisle didn't really have any family to speak of, so my parents asked him to move back to Washington with them. He did, and while working in a hospital in Seattle, he met Esme. She was a volunteer cuddlier in the NICU and I guess it was love at first sight because they were married just two months later. Esme and my mom got along really well together and were thrilled beyond belief to get pregnant at the same time. There must have been something in the water there because about four months after Emmett and I were born, our moms were pregnant again. My mom with Jasper, and Esme with Alice and Edward of course.

"My parents, and Carlisle and Esme, bought neighboring houses in one of Seattle's more affluent areas and we all spent many happy years there together. Until just about two months before I turned thirteen.

"There had been a couple of break-ins in surrounding neighborhoods. Esme was frightened and she and Carlisle decided that they wanted to move to a small town and away from the city violence. Carlisle took a job at Forks Community Hospital and he tried to convince my dad to follow suit. But my parents weren't quite ready to give up city life and they also didn't want to pull Jasper out of the military school he'd been attending. So with heavy hearts, we helped the Cullen's pack and watched them move away. I cried for days not knowing when I would see Emmett again. My mom had said we would be spending the summer with them, but that was still four months away.

"About three weeks before the end of school and the start of my long awaited summer vacation, my mom and I had gone shopping for our upcoming trip to Forks. We bought swimwear and hiking gear, so that we would be prepared to tackle the itinerary that Esme had created for us. She was determined to convince my parents that Forks had everything they could ever want in a place to live."

Her voice started to quiver a little, causing the flutters in my stomach to increase to nausea. And I suddenly felt as though I couldn't quite get enough air into my lungs.

"As we arrived home and were carrying our shopping bags through the front door, I was shoved hard from behind. I slammed into my mom and we both tumbled to the floor. I looked up and saw two men in ski masks closing and locking the door. My mom scrambled to place herself between me and the men, pleading with them and offering them money and jewelry. They just laughed and told her they would take anything they wanted. They each grabbed one of us and drug us into the kitchen where they tied my mom to a chair and taped her mouth shut."

Rosalie began to shake a little, and her eyes were filling with tears.

"You don't have to do this." I whispered nervously, my panic increasing, and I hoped she would stop. I could see where this story might be heading and I didn't think I could handle it.

She looked at me for a moment. "Yes, I do. You need to understand."

"Understand what?" I was almost pleading for a swift end.

"Just listen." She took a moment to steady herself before she continued; all the while my heart was rising into my throat. "I could hear my mother's muffled screams as they drug me back out to the front room. They pushed me down and tied my wrists to one of the legs of our grand piano. I tried to fight them, but I was no match and I watched in horror as they flipped a coin for the privilege of being _first_."

I didn't want to hear anymore. It was like I could feel the handcuffs digging into my wrists as she spoke. And if I could feel that... "Please stop!" I begged her. "I can't hear this!" I was sobbing now.

"Bella you need to hear this. You need to know that you're ok."

"But I'm not!" I wailed. "And I never will be!" I felt her arms wrap around me, and I curled into her as if I was huddling behind a shield.

"Of course you think that now. That's what I thought too. But it doesn't have to be this way. Let me show you. Let me finish."

With my face now buried in her shoulder I nodded for her continue. Maybe if I didn't have to look at her, I could tolerate listening.

"They spent the next four hours taking turns raping me. And when they weren't raping me with their bodies, they were raping me with anything else they could find. The barrel of their handgun, a beer bottle with the cap still on, a broom stick, a toothpaste tube… It was like some grand experiment to see what would fit."

I thought I was going to be sick. I shuddered as ghostly impressions of pain ran over my body, and I couldn't help but retch as an image of James' nightstick flashed before my eyes. Rosalie tightened her hold on me, but didn't stop her story. Her voice, now almost hollow and robotic, forged ahead like an avalanche with no way to stop it, or even deter it.

"One of them went into the kitchen as my mom's muted screams continued, and by the time he came out they had stopped. I never heard another sound from my mom. Along with the silence, he brought a rather large cucumber from the kitchen. He laughed and rammed it into me. The pain was blinding. I screamed and the other one kicked me in the face."

I was whimpering now and shaking violently as my mind had no trouble visualizing the horrors that she was describing.

"Just when I didn't think I was going to live much longer, I heard my dad's car pull up. One of the men quickly taped my mouth so I couldn't warn him and then they went behind the door to wait. I heard his keys in the lock and saw the door open. He came in and almost instantly his eyes fell on me. His face was horror struck. 'Rosie?' was all he said before he began to rush towards me. I tried to scream to warn him but I couldn't and just before he reached me the two men attacked him. He fought them with everything he had, but he was outnumbered and as they pinned him to the floor I suddenly heard a loud bang. My father's body went limp and I could see a pool of blood begin to ooze out from under him.

"The two men spent the next few minutes gathering what possessions they wanted from the house and left without a second glance at me or my dad. A neighbor must have heard the shot because I soon heard sirens approaching."

For a brief, irrational moment, I panicked at the thought of the police finding Rosalie. I knew that the rest of the world viewed the police as a force of good and safety. But years of having a badge gleam at me from the chest of one whom I needed protection from, had jaded my view. And even though it was hard for me to comprehend, I had to remind myself that for Rosalie, the badge meant something completely different.

"A few hours after I was taken to the hospital, Carlisle and Esme arrived. They held me and cried as they told me that neither of my parents had made it. I found out later during the trial that they had slit my mom's throat, and I knew my dad was dead before the police arrived. My parents had set up Carlisle and Esme as our legal guardians in their will, so when I was released from the hospital they brought me to Forks.

"Jasper was given special leave from his school, but before long Carlisle convinced him to return telling him that the school made him happy and our parents would want him to be happy. He went back for two more years. He excelled at his studies but started getting into a lot of fights, and after he broke another cadet's jaw the commandant expelled him. Jasper's anger issues and my slow recovery were the reason we never attended school before this year.

"Bella, look at me please."

I was so overwhelmed by her story that my head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, but I somehow managed to lift it and look at her. I expected to see the same mournful defeat that had been in her eyes earlier, but that was gone. Instead I saw resolve, determination and compassion.

"I have loved Emmett since we were infants. And I thought after my assault that there was no way he would ever want me. I thought I was dirty, and worthless. I was told that the damage done to my body was so extensive that I may never be able to bear children, so I was broken too. I was so sure that I would be alone the rest of my wretched existence that I pushed away everyone I loved, including Emmett. But they never gave up on me. Emmett even filled my room with thirteen teddy bears of varying sizes. He said it was one for every year he has loved me, and he hoped they would help me until I was able to let _him_ help me instead. He was so sweet. He gave me space, and yet always made sure I knew he was there. And when I finally found the courage to let him hold me for the first time; it felt like I had been wandering for years and finally made it home. I've never left his arms since. And through years of therapy and understanding from my family, I am healing."

She grabbed my shoulders and captured me in her gaze.

"It will _never_ be ok that this happened to you Bella, but it doesn't have to control your life. Please let us in. Please let us help you. Edward cares for you so much. And so does Alice and everyone else too. Let us be your family. I know you're scared, and feel weak right now. Let us be your strength until you are stronger. I know you feel dirty, but you did not ask those men to do that to you, so _they_ are the dirty ones. You are an innocent victim. Everyone in this family knows that, and the sooner you realize that too, the better off you'll be. We will never give up on you."

She hugged me to her and we held each other and cried for ourselves and for each other. I didn't know what to think. I wanted so badly to believe her, and her passion and strength felt almost infectious. I knew I still wasn't ready to tell my story the way Rosalie so bravely told me hers, but I suddenly felt for the first time, that someday I might be.

And just like that, my old enemy 'hope' made a reappearance.

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**A/N: I know this was another hard chapter. Thank you for sticking with me.**

**My thanks to my Beta **_**timeaovergain**_**. Big thank yous and ILYs to **_**CatMasters**_** and **_**Hev99**_** for pre-reading. And last, but certainly not least, I owe a huge thank you and tackle hugs to the incomparable **_**Nostalgicmiss**_** for her invaluable input on this chapter. I don't know what I did to deserve the awesome ladies that help me with this story, but I could not be more grateful to have them. **

**You can put your flashlights away for the next chapter, and take a breather. Thanks again for reading!**


	20. Male Bonding is for Girls

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest, and pile of dirty laundry that stares at me and mocks me.**

**A/N: Thank you to my Beta _timeaovergain_ for getting this back to me so quickly. Someday I will actually start getting these things to you on time. ;) Thanks girl!**

**Huge mad love to _CatMasters_ and _Hev99_ for pre-reading and making sure I don't drive this thing over a cliff. And also, to _Nostalgicmiss_ for looking it over and stamping her golden seal on it.**

**This chapter is dedicated to _Hev99_ for her birthday! Happy Birthday, Bob! I don't know what I'd do without you! I love you sweets!**

**Ok…on to Edward. Poor guy needs some love… **

* * *

Chapter 20: Male Bonding is for Girls

**EPOV**

I slid down my door to the floor, and my head flopped forward onto my knees. I could see the dots of moisture on my jeans, but that was the only thing that told me I was crying. I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything. My girl had rejected me. She was frightened of me, and suddenly I didn't know who I was anymore. My identity was already irrevocably intertwined with her, and if there was no her in my life, then who was I? My brain protested the irrationality of these thoughts, but my heart was not so quick to listen, freezing me in my folded position with grief.

Images of her huddled form assaulted my mind. Hearing her pleas and seeing the terror in her eyes was like a glimpse into the past. Almost as if I was seeing her through the eyes of her torturers; the thought of which made me feel nauseous and dirty. Did she see me the same way? When she looked up at me, was I just another tormentor? My stomach rolled again as I grappled with the conflicting thoughts of defeat and determination. I felt defeat in her rejection, but determination to prove myself to her. I had to make her see _me, _the real me, again. I was just at an absolute loss as to how.

I'm not sure how long I had been sitting there with these opposing thoughts swirling at a dizzying pace before I heard knocking on my door, but it wasn't long enough. I tried to ignore it, but the knocking turned to pounding; the force of which was rattling through my chest.

"Edward? C'mon man! Let me in!" Emmett. Of course.

I stood begrudgingly. I didn't really have a choice. Emmett would probably break the door if I didn't let him in, in the next ten seconds. And since he would come in whether I wanted him to or not, I just cracked the door and walked over to fall on my bed.

"Edward? Dude, you ok, man?" I turned my face towards the wall. I didn't want to see the look on his face that accompanied the pity in his voice.

"Hey, listen, man. I've been there. I know how bad it sucks. I just thought… maybe… aw hell, I don't know. I guess I just thought that maybe you might need to talk to someone. You know… someone who gets it."

I looked up slowly, and I could see now that what I thought was pity was actually commiseration. I am suffering a nightmare that has already haunted my brother, and if I was any sort of decent brother myself, I would have noticed that Bella's situation continued to be like a ghost from the past to Emmett and Rosalie, and my whole family really.

It had been so long since my brother's eyes had seemed so dull and lifeless. Is that how I looked now? Like my soul had been siphoned out, leaving nothing but pain and misery?

I sat all the way up and gestured to the couch. Emmett took my invitation and sat down, and for a time we just sat in awkward silence. I watched Emmett's leg as it bounced up and down, keeping a perfect rhythm. His mouth opened and closed several times, like he was revving an engine but he just couldn't put it in gear. And as the silence grew thicker I began to feel as though it were wrapping around me, constricting me and squeezing the dreaded words out of my mouth.

"She hates me, Em." I finally managed to whisper.

"No she doesn't. She's just scared of you."

My mouth instantly dried up like the Sahara. I knew she seemed scared of me, but for Emmett to actually confirm it was like being punched in the throat. It was all I could do to choke out a response.

"But... but why?"

"No, no, no…not scared of _you_… how do I explain this? … She's scared of guys in general. I mean, can you really blame her?"

"No. I guess I can't." I felt so overwhelmed. And confused. And angry. And… "I'm scared." It was so quiet that I wasn't sure I even said it out loud, but then I saw Emmett begin to nod.

"I was too, bro. I didn't think Rosie would ever let me near her again. The fear in her eyes was like ice picks being jabbed into my chest."

I nodded in understanding and empathy. I knew exactly how he felt.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"A lot of little stuff. Mostly just stuff to let her know I was there for her, without invading her space."

"Like what?"

"Huh," He cocked his head to the side, amusement on his face. "And here I always thought you were the smart one. We can't both be the good lookin' one, so where does that leave you?"

I sighed, exasperated. "Emmett, can't you be serious for one second? I don't need your crap right now."

He held his hands out in surrender. "Ok, ok, jeez… unclench a little, I was just joking. You know, humor goes a long way in stressful situations."

Unfortunately I knew he was right. Humor _could_ go a long way in stressful situations. And Emmett wouldn't be Emmett without the random wisecrack. It's just how he deals.

"You're right, Emmett. I'm sorry. I just feel really desperate right now."

"I know you do. Look, all I did was _be_ there. Like a presence. If she was watching a movie, I would sit in the room, but not next to her. Stuff like that. She knew I was close by, but I stayed far enough away so that she wasn't worried that I would touch her. When she was finally willing to talk to me, I kept it light. Stupid stuff. And of course the teddy bears...one of my more brilliant ideas." He said with a smile while puffing out his chest.

"Yeah, I remember those. I thought you were crazy, but I guess it worked."

"Yep. Hey…maybe I really am the smart one _and_ the good lookin' one!" He chuckled.

I just rolled my eyes as Emmett continued.

"It helped a lot too when Rosie finally agreed to go to counseling. It's probably going to be a while before Bella's willing to try that, so you're just going to have to be patient. You've got to walk before you can run, and there's a lot of walking in this race."

As soon as he said it, I knew. I knew without a doubt, that I would walk a thousand miles just see my girl smile again. And a thousand more to hear the magic of her laugh. It was going to be such a long road, but somehow the resolve to walk it actually lightened the weight on my shoulders a bit. I looked at my brother with even more respect. I never fully understood what he went through until then, as I found myself standing at the start of the same horrible journey. I would have to tell him that someday. Just not today.

"Any _more_ wisdom, Confucius?" I half smiled at him.

"Yeah, actually, oh tight boweled one… Remember this after she does start counseling…" He cleared his throat dramatically, triggering another eye roll from me.

"The Titanic was built by professionals, but the ark was built by amateurs." I just stared blankly at him, trying so hard to make the leap with him onto the random train. He just laughed before putting me out of my misery. "It means that the counselors and doctors can build her up and give her the tools to be strong, but her family, those of us that love her, is what will make her truly unsinkable."

I gaped at my brother. I mean, seriously? For Emmett, that was really profound. I recovered quickly though. "Fridge magnet?" I smirked.

"Nope." He laughed. "Bumper sticker."

"Gee, and here I thought you were only capable of reading cave drawings!"

His booming guffaw was so infectious that I found myself doubled over in much needed cleansing laughter. It was a relief to let go of some of the tension. We laughed for a little while longer before I pulled myself together enough to thank him.

"If you want to thank me, then come shoot some hoops with me. All this girly talk is making my boys run for the hills!"

"Okay. Just let me change and check on Bella."

"Right on! I'll find Jasper and meet you outside."

Emmett bounded out the door hollering for Jazz. I knew I could count on those two to entertain each other for a while, so I took my time changing so I could think. Emmett may be the equivalent of a sentient tackling dummy, but he actually made some really good points. I couldn't help but shake my head and chuckle at his Titanic vs. the ark analogy. It seemed so out there, and yet made perfect sense. Honestly, I wasn't sure whether to be elated or frightened that I actually understood what he was trying to tell me. And he was right, too. It didn't matter how many doctors and other professionals we made available to her, she would never be whole without the true love of a family.

A fresh wave of resolve washed over me, buoying me up with another decision. Bella would never again be without the love of a family. And although I was quite positive that there would be no objection from the others, I would still make it my personal mission to see that she felt this family's love every single day, from that day forward.

I laced up my shoes and headed down the hall towards Bella's room. My whole body feeling lighter than it had in days. As I approached, I was surprised to see Rosalie quietly letting herself out. She slowly pulled the door shut and twisted the knob back so as to make the door close as softly as possible. She apparently wasn't the only quiet one because when she turned and saw me she jumped and covered her mouth so she wouldn't scream.

"Sorry." I whispered quickly.

"Jeez, Edward! You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing sneaking around here?" she whisper- yelled back at me.

"I'm sorry. And I wasn't sneaking. I just came to see how she was doing."

"She's sleeping right now. She's exhausted."

"Yeah, but how is she?" I implored.

Rose just shook her head and sighed. "She's terrified, and depressed and completely overwhelmed. She's just barely starting to process what has happened to her, and she needs some time, Edward."

Her words wrapped around my heart like a rope, binding it tightly. It wasn't really anything I didn't already know, but coming from Rosalie made it that much more real.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Thanks Rose. I know this can't be easy for you."

"Honestly, Edward, it's nice to be able to help someone for a change. Instead of being the one that needs the help." I nodded to show I understood. "Don't give up on her. She needs you. She just can't show it right now."

"I won't. I promise."

"Good. Take it slow. She's no quitter. She just hasn't realized that yet." She patted me on the shoulder before padding lightly down the hall.

I opened the door as quietly as I could, and when I stepped inside my eyes beheld a sleeping angel. She was laying on her right side and curled into a little ball. She looked so innocent and vulnerable, and I longed to lay with her, holding her in my arms. Oh, how I wished I could've protected her from the horrors she endured. My arms ached to wrap around her. My lips yearned to kiss away all her pain. My eyes mourned the loss of her smile. Every cell in my body craved closeness with her, and I was driven towards her by an unseen force that I could not deny.

I took the chair by her bed and studied her perfect face. It was healing well. The swelling was gone and the bruise on her eye was beginning to turn yellow. The scab on her lip was the only reminder of the trauma to her mouth. These markings on her face did strange things to my heart. It thumped with pain for what she had endured, but at the same time it swelled as I gazed at her insurmountable beauty.

I watched as her face began to twist and pucker in an all too familiar manner. Her breathing became shallow and small whimpers began to escape her lips. She was having a nightmare.  
I instinctively grabbed her hand and rubbed soothing circles on her palm while I began to hum her song. It took a few minutes, but everything began to reverse itself. The whimpers quieted, her breathing deepened and then her face began to slowly relax, returning to her peaceful slumber. And that's when I saw it. I wasn't sure at first because it was only just a twitch, but ever so slightly it happened again. The corners of her mouth pulled up just the tiniest bit, followed by the sweetest music on the planet.

"Edward." She mumbled in her sleep.

She could have shouted my name from the highest mountain in joy while wearing an ear to ear grin and it would have had no greater impact than this humble little expression. My heart was soaring. She didn't hate me. I could see that now. And while I was not so foolish as to think that she wouldn't still be fearful in my presence, I was absolutely positive that it was simply the fact that I'm a guy. I know that Emmett had already told me that, but for some reason I couldn't allow myself to believe it until now. Her traumatized mind was only seeing in generalizations, but her heart could see _me_. This information etched itself on my heart like a badge of honor, and I would wear it proudly as I walked, built arcs, or did whatever else that was necessary to let this amazing girl know how much she meant to me.

The door opened and Alice entered the room giving me the strangest look. I'm sure it looked a little odd that I was sitting next to an unconscious girl wearing the stupidest smile, but I didn't care. I just stood up and walked over to my tiny sister and scooped her up in the biggest hug I could manage without breaking her. She let out a soft squeal of surprise at my enthusiasm, and I kissed her on top of the head as I let her down.

"What'd I miss?" She asked, completely confused.

"Just take care of her for me, would ya Mighty Mouse?" I smiled at her. "I've got some hoops to shoot."

"Okay." She said the word slowly while looking at me like she was assessing my need for the nut house.

I just laughed and headed out the door. I don't think my feet touched the floor as I made my way out to where my brothers were engaged in a game of H.O.R.S.E. I felt totally invincible and looked forward to the physical release.

"You ready to bring it, Emmett?" I asked with a smirk.

"Oh yeah, baby brother, let's see what you got!" He exclaimed. "Let's do this!"

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! See ya next week! :)**


	21. The Worth of a Soul

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. The rest of the words are mine, along with a suitcase that's soon to be full.**

**A/N: Please read the A/N at the bottom.**

**This chapter is coming to you today unbeta'd. I waited as long as I could for it, but it hasn't come back yet. I'm taking a chance that you would all rather possibly find a few mistakes than wait any longer. So here it is, in all its raw glory…**

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Chapter 21: The Worth of a Soul

**BPOV**

Time moved forward, relentless and unyielding. And yet, as the sun and moon turned round and round in their celestial dance, I remained motionless. I had seen the light change to dark, and then to light again many times. I could see and hear people around me. Life was moving forward, but I didn't know how to join it.

Rosalie's story haunted me now, as well as my own. I tried so hard to focus on her strength as she shared her tragic tale with me, but once she was gone from my sight, so too was her strength. And my weakness invaded my dreams.

In my most recent nightmare, I was once again reliving my assault. This time Edward came to rescue me, but as he approached he was tackled to the ground by my assailants. He fought until I heard the shot, and I watched his face drain to white, as the red oozed from beneath his body.

I woke up with a start, clutching my chest and gasping for breath. There was sweat beading on my forehead and my whole body trembled with fear. Tears formed in my eyes as my mind slowly went through the familiar process of attempting to separate dreams from reality. If only it _was_ all a dream. I would give anything to wake up and have what happened be nothing but an echo of my subconscious imaginings. But it was real, and as I looked up and noticed the little stuffed kitten and balloons that Emmett and Jasper left in my room for me, I was once again reminded that I was not normal. They tried to do something nice for me, but instead of seeing it as a source of comfort, I saw it as a reminder of my embarrassing reaction to them. How would someone like me, ever fit to a family like this?

It seemed like everywhere I looked, and everything I felt emotionally and physically, just ground into my soul everything I now was, and everything I could never have.

I sighed.

No one was sitting with me at the moment, and these were dangerous times for my imagination. When someone was near it was easy to have distractions, but alone there was nothing to stop the dark and conflicting thoughts that overwhelmed me. Logic and love waged war in my head until it pounded in surrender. I ached to be consumed in a loving embrace, and yet I could not justify deserving such a desire. I felt like a parasite on their lives; leaching and consuming all that was good, and giving nothing in return.

Rosalie's story answered so many questions regarding her and Jasper's occasionally odd behavior, but it stirred up more questions as well. I wondered about what she'd said about Emmett's arms feeling like home. Could Edward's arms ever feel the same? There was nowhere I wanted to be more desperately, but would it feel like home if I was nothing but a thief? Stealing undeserved love and hospitality?

The need to be near him and feel his tenderness balanced precariously on the edge as the all consuming fear of male touch pushed mightily against it. When Alice and Rosalie had embraced me, something inside me sparked, and I was suddenly twelve years old again in the tender arms of my mother. The deprivation of loving touch had awakened such yearnings for what had been denied me for so long, but still, I could not bring myself to believe that I was worthy of such affections. Edward had reached out to me, and the spark of his touch ignited the conflagration of my guilt to such a degree that I had no choice but to pull away. The fear of being hurt at the hands of others, and the desperate desire for the touch of kind hands, spun me to new heights of confusion.

And knowing that Rosalie was where I was now, and that she was now strong, gave me much to think about. If she hadn't have told me her story, I would have never guessed that she had endured something so horrifying. It was obvious that _something_ had occurred in her and Jasper's past, but to have it be something of that magnitude was nearly incomprehensible. She was so confident in most things, especially her love for Emmett. They were so devoted to one another, so carefree in their touching and affections. I would be lying if I said I didn't want what she had, and I couldn't help but wonder if I could ever find a way to be that strong. Did I have it within me to…live?

This was it. I had to decide. Did I have enough faith in the Cullens to accept their words as truths? Did I reach out and attempt to embrace this family as they had seemingly embraced me? What was my alternative? I had endured countless beatings from Charlie. I had endured countless abuses and humiliations at school. I had endured the cruelest of tortures. I had endured the embarrassment of being exposed for what I was to the Cullens. I had endured…and I had survived.

I was still breathing. My heart still beat. Alice was right. They may have taken my innocence, but I could not, and would not, let them take my soul.

With my new found resolve, my body seemed to move a bit more freely. The soreness was still present, but manageable. I could feel my strength slowly returning as I sat up, giving myself a minute for the dizziness to pass as I prepared to slide my feet to the floor. Cautiously, I swung my legs to the left and let them dangle off the side of the bed, before gingerly pushing myself up to standing. Once completely upright I found myself moderately stable, so I slowly walked toward the door. I hadn't left this room since I arrived, whenever that was.

With my heart pounding in my chest I turned the handle and opened the door. The dull ache in my feet was the only indicator that I was walking forward. I wasn't even sure where I was going but I needed to keep moving forward until I found it.

The stairs presented a slightly bigger problem as my joints were stiff from being bedridden for so long, but holding tightly to the banister I made my way down. As I neared the bottom, I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. A lot of voices. It sounded like they must all be home. The familiar flutter reappeared in my chest, and I tried to calm myself with a few deep breaths as I reached the bottom and continued to amble towards the chatter. They sounded so normal. Or at least what I always imagined a normal family would sound like. Even before my mom died, we were a small family that didn't seem to need much taking, and I often daydreamed of being part of a large, loving family that sounded a lot like this one. There seemed to be several conversations going on at once infused with random laughter. It was like music in my ears and I felt guilty when it all came to a sudden halt.

I arrived in the doorway to the kitchen. The Cullens were all frozen in whatever position they had been in mid-conversation like someone pushed a pause button. Some seemed frozen in shock, others in apprehension, but no one seemed to be breathing. It was an awkward few seconds and then all at once, someone hit "play".

The first thing I noticed was everyone's surprised greetings, and then I noticed all the boys take a few steps back. I regretted that they felt the need to do this, but I was grateful for their thoughtfulness. I was also grateful they took a step back. In my mind, I knew it was irrational to fear anyone in this family, including the boys, but my body seemed to operate on another frequency and it reacted in ways I couldn't always control.

"Bella!" Alice rushed forward and took my hand, leading me towards the table. "Are you ok?  
What are you doing? Here! Sit! What can I get you?" Her questions, her everything, was so fast, and I found myself suddenly quite overwhelmed by the situation. My room had been almost like a cave with very limited contact with the others, and now that I had put myself in the center of them all, I struggled to stay connected with the resolve that brought me here.

"Alice, I'm fine." I nearly whispered, my voice rough from disuse. "I was just…" I sighed. _I can do this. I can do this_… "Lonely?" It came out as more of a question as I struggled to find a way to adequately describe what I was feeling, while at the same time limiting the amount of words I had to speak. I wanted to be there, I just wasn't sure I wanted to talk yet.

"Lonely? Does this mean…?" She looked so hopeful, her body beginning to bounce with anticipation.

With a deep breath, I gazed back into the eyes of my best friend. There was such determination and devotion there that I could almost feel her transfer strength to me. And for the first time in weeks, I joined the living.

"I don't... I don't want to be alone in my room anymore." I quietly declared. "I want to be out here with you, with everyone. I'm so sorry for taking so long."

Her eyes began to fill with tears, triggering my own. And then she hugged me fiercely; love, and joy, and protectiveness radiating through her embrace. And though my body ached in muted protest, I didn't care. I simply buried my face in her neck and wept with her. These were cleansing tears; tears that were closing one chapter, and opening another. To anyone else it would probably just look like two girls hugging and crying, but to me it was huge. I had done it. I had turned a corner, and I didn't want to look back.

I had forgotten the others in the room until Rosalie cleared her throat.

"Can I get in on this too?" She asked, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Me too?" Esme's warm voice was just a whisper of strangled emotion.

Alice and I each opened one arm and welcomed them into our circle. I was completely overwhelmed by their love and acceptance of me. I was in pure awe of this family. This wonderful family that seemed, against all odds, to want me too.

"Dude. Are you crying?" Jasper's amused voice rose above the sobs.

"No! Shut up, man!" Emmett retorted.

"Yes you are, you big pansy!" Jasper needled. "Edward! Is he crying, or what?"

Edward held his hands up in surrender. "I'm stayin' out of this one!"

"You bet you are EMO-ward!" Emmett yelled.

As I watched this exchange between brothers I began to feel a tickle in my stomach that slowly rose up my chest and throat. And as Emmett prepared to defend his manhood with his fists, I felt a small giggle escape my lips. It was followed by another, and when I noticed everyone's stunned faces as they stared at me, I exploded into full hysterics. It seemed to take a moment for them to recover from their shock and then I was quickly joined by everyone in laughter. It felt as if a weight literally lifted from my shoulders as I spent a carefree moment with my would-be family.

Esme was the first to recover. "Who's hungry?"

A chorus of "me's" rang through the kitchen, with a "duh" from Emmett, who was obviously still a little out of sorts from the ribbing he'd received. Rosalie joined Esme at the counter. Edward threw me a wink that had a new set of butterflies twirling in my gut as he passed by on his way to help his mother as well. My cheeks flushed as I tried to reconcile the same excitement with the new fear that he made me feel.

The sandwiches were soon done and Edward approached the table with a plate in each hand. My stomach leapt into my throat and when he saw the rueful twist of my mouth he immediately shifted course to the other side of the table. He reached across and set the plate down where I had to reach for it a little. He was being cautious not to get too close.

"Thank you." I whispered, hoping he knew I meant it for more than just the sandwich.

"It's my pleasure." He replied with his signature smile.

I blushed again and then busied myself with my lunch as Alice and Rosalie took the seats on either side of me. The conversation around the table was light, flowing naturally and effortlessly. It would have been so easy to jump in along the way, but I was just enjoying listening to the people I loved, and soaking in the relaxed atmosphere.

The only interruption came when the doorbell rang. Esme rose to answer it muttering a "who could that be?" under her breath as she left. I heard the door click open, and then my fragile bubble of peace burst with such force that I couldn't breathe.

"Mrs. Cullen? Where's Isabella? It's been more than two weeks. I'm taking her home. Now!"

Charlie.

I felt the blood drain from my face as I began to tremble. The soreness in my body was instantly magnified, and my stomach knotted in anticipation of more pain. He had come for me. He would take me back, and he would...I didn't want to think it, but I couldn't help it. My hands fisted in my hair as the stink of booze, the sight of Charlie's face twisted in rage, and the sting of the belt on my back assaulted my senses. Alice's soft coo in my ear and arm around my shoulders held no more weight than air.

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan, but Bella is not here at the moment." Esme's voice was confident, yet strained. I wanted to scream for her to slam the door and run. What if he didn't believe her, and he hurt her trying to get to me? I folded over, retching at the thought of him even laying a finger on her.

"Where is she? I need her home. Tonight. I'm…uh…having a party, and I need her help." He was becoming more agitated. All the air left my lungs and I found myself on my knees. He wanted me home so that he could...so that they could... The contents of my stomach revolted against its captor, as my head spun in nausea. Alice and Rosalie were both kneeling next to me in an attempt to comfort me, but there was no comfort for this. He was the chief of police, and if he wanted me, he would take me.

"She's out with my daughters. I sent them on some errands. I don't expect them back for quite some time."

"That does not work at all." He spat.

His words were venomous, renewing my fear for Esme. And I couldn't understand why everyone was huddled around me when _she_ was in danger.

"Help her. Please." I choked out as my stomach lurched again.

Emmett stood immediately, his face turning from concern to anger and determination, and headed for the door.

"Mom? Oh! Hey, Chief Swan. What can we do for you?" Emmett's casual tone did not fully mask the stress in his voice.

"I thought you boys were gonna be gone this weekend." Charlie accused, his voice now holding the slightest apprehension.

"Yeah, we decided to skip camping this weekend. We're supposed to be getting a pretty big storm. But of course, you would know all about that, right?" Emmett's patronizing tone didn't seem to faze Charlie as much as his presence did. His imposing form had an immediate effect and had Charlie backing down almost instantly.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to swing by the hospital and speak to Dr. Cullen then. I expect her home as soon as she gets back."

"I'll speak to Bella as soon as I see her." Esme's carefully worded answer seemed to satisfy him.

"You do that. Good day." He grumbled.

"Good day, Chief." Esme answered, shutting the door as casually as she could before rushing back to the kitchen.

"Bella? Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have never answered the door. Are you okay?"

My mind was in overdrive replaying everything that happened in the last few minutes. Charlie hadn't forgotten about me. He wanted me back home. He was having a… Panic ripped through me again, making it hard to breathe, as tremors continued to attack my body.

"Please don't send me back! I'll do whatever you want. I can't go back. I can't be there for another party. Please." I begged through my now full blown sobs as everyone in the room stiffened.

Esme knelt in front of me, grabbed my shoulders tightly and looked me square in the eye.

"You do not ever have to go back to that house. Do you hear me? Never!"

I searched her face and found nothing but determination and conviction. Stunned by her aggressiveness, I simply nodded my understanding before being enveloped into the maternal embrace that I have craved for so long. And as I allowed her warmth to fill me and calm my shaking, I made a new decision.

I pulled back enough so that I could see her face.

"P-please call your friend at the FBI. I'm r-ready to tell him what they did to me. I want to be free."

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**A/N: Well my lovelies, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we saw some real progress from Bella in this chapter. Yay! The bad news is, I am leaving town tomorrow, and will be gone just over a week. Boo! What does this mean for you? Well, the first thing it means is that review replies for this chapter may be a little slow in coming. I will do my best to reply to as many as I can before I leave, and I promise to respond to all as soon as possible. The other thing it means is that there may possibly (most likely) be a delay in next week's posting, but I promise to get it posted as soon as I am able. **

**Thank you to my amazing team of pre-readers, hand-holders, and ledge talker off-ers: **_**CatMasters, Hev99, **_**and**_** Nostalgicmiss**_**. And extra huggles to Hev99 for going on a word hunt and finding half of this chapter. ;)**

**And finally, thank you to all of you who have put this story on alert, added it as a favorite, read it, and reviewed it. You are all awesome and I love you! **


	22. Home

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words and a camera full of vacation memories.**

**A/N: Big thanks to my beta, **_**timeaovergain**_**. And thanks also to my pre-readers and sanity wranglers, **_**CatMasters**_**, **_**Hev99**_**, and **_**Nostalgicmiss**_**. Mad love and tackle hugs to all these amazing ladies!**

**I know this post is late, so let's get to it, shall we?**

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Chapter 22: Home

**BPOV**

Esme held me until I felt at least some measure of control, and then passed me to Alice's waiting arms. The cheerful lunch had dissolved into tense silence, with the exception of my muffled sobs and Esme's soothing words and shushes. I felt terrible about that, but as I calmed, everyone seemed to relax a little and slowly fell back into what they were doing before the interruption.

After the lunch dishes were cleaned, everyone began to slowly trickle out of the kitchen and onto other activities. Esme excused herself to go and call Carlisle. Rosalie huffed and began to drag Emmett from the room. He had been challenging Jasper to everything from checkers, to paintball wars, to 100m sprints, to building a house of cards in an effort to pop out the dent his ego took with the whole crying escapade. When he suggested that they wrestle a real grizzly bear, Rosalie had had enough. Jasper just laughed and Emmett scowled at him while he allowed Rose to lead him out the door. Jasper was the next to go as he slipped out the back with a basketball in his hands.

I was beginning to feel a little tired but I didn't want to go back to my room yet. Truth be told, I was nervous that my new found resolve would dissipate once I was alone. Plus, I was enjoying the change of scenery too much to go back just yet. All through lunch, I noticed Edward stealing glances at me and my heart pounded with every glimpse. I know that he had been in my room many times over the past weeks, but I felt like I hadn't seen him in months.

Suddenly Alice popped up, startling me a little. "I need to tell Jazzy something. You'll be alright for a few minutes without me, won't you Bella?" I opened my mouth to answer no, but before I had a chance she was flying towards the door. "Of course you will be. I'll be right back." All I could do was stare at the door the little dark haired blur disappeared through with my mouth gaping open from my thwarted protest.

"And then there were two." Edward spoke softly. "I can leave if you want."

"No. Um, it's ok." I muttered uncertainly, keeping my eyes on the door hoping Alice would reappear.

"Bella?"

I turned slowly towards him, my heart beating furiously in my chest. When I finally faced him I was surprised to see him look so unsure.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you that I think what you did today was really brave. I know that just coming down the stairs was a big deal for you, but then to have to deal with what just…uh…well, I just think you're amazing."

My face began to heat as I dropped my gaze to the table.

"I'm anything but amazing." I mumbled. I heard his chair scrape against the floor and I couldn't help but tremble as he came around the table and sat in Alice's seat. His close proximity made me nervous, but to my surprise it wasn't fear. The tingling in my stomach was a bizarre combination of excitement and sadness.

"I won't hurt you, Bella." He soothed. "If I get too close or do something you're not comfortable with, just tell me and I'll back off immediately. Okay?" I nodded. "I've just been so worried about you."

I looked up at him. The sincerity of his face was undeniable and I found myself lost in a sea of  
green.

"Why?" I whispered, feeling almost hypnotized. He cocked his eyebrow and gave me a look that said 'really?', but I honestly wanted to know. I couldn't fathom why this perfect person would worry so much about me. "Please don't look at me like that. I honestly don't understand."

"Isn't it obvious, Bella?"

"Not to me, I guess."

"I _love_ you."

The world came to a screeching halt under his intense gaze. Was I hallucinating? He said it with such conviction though. Could it be? Maybe he could have _before_, but _now_? "Impossible." I whispered.

"Yes. Impossible. Impossible not to."

I continued to be trapped by his blazing emerald eyes as his hand slowly made its way towards my face. I was determined not to panic, and although I couldn't help but shudder a bit when he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, I counted it a victory. But he didn't remove his hand. Instead, he trailed his scorching fingertips under my jaw from my ear to my chin and held them there so I couldn't look away.

"Bella, what happened to you was the most horrible thing I could imagine, apart from your death. But it does nothing to change how I feel about you. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you sitting in that classroom trying to ignore me, and I will love you every day of forever if you will let me. When I'm away from you, there is a constant sense of loss. You own my heart, Bella, and I only feel complete when I'm near you."

I could feel hot tears pouring down my cheeks as I desperately tried to wrap my brain around what he was saying to me. Elation and dread ran through my veins in equal measure.

"But how…I mean…you deserve so much better." I barely managed in my stunned state.

"There _is_ no one better. You are the most beautiful, strong, loving, brave person I've ever met. You are everything to me Bella. And nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I promise that I will protect you from now on." His voice hitched with pain and guilt that I couldn't understand before he whispered "I'm so sorry that I didn't before."

I watched a single tear track down his beautiful face and it hit me like Emmett on a quarterback…he blames himself for what happened to me. The incredulity of such a thought overwhelmed me, and I began to feel an odd warming sensation all over my body. I began to shake, and before I knew it I was on my feet, yelling at him.

"How can you even think that? How were you supposed to protect me when I never told you what was going on? And why would you waste your time with guilt over something you clearly had no control over? You didn't do anything wrong Edward! _They_ did! _They _hurt me! Why? Why did they do it? Why me? What did I do to deserve it? I did everything that was ever asked of me! I tried so hard to be good and I was never good enough! Why? Why? WHY?"

My legs gave out and I fell to my knees. Edward rushed over but stayed at arm's length, his hands seemed to fight against an unseen force that was keeping them from touching me. The sudden burst of anger dissolved into pain as fast as it had come on, and my chest was heaving with great sobs. The rest of the family came rushing in, no doubt disturbed by my yelling, but hovered cautiously around the perimeter of the room as if assessing a suddenly loose wild animal. I was confused and scared as I scanned the stunned faces, not knowing what to do or even what I wanted. My eyes eventually locked with Edward's, my pain and anger reflecting back at me. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. His pain magnified mine until I thought I was going to explode, but just as I teetered on the edge of going completely mad something changed. His face began to soften and I could see an intense yearning in his features as he slowly raised his outstretched arms. Searching his eyes, I found the invitation I had dreamed of. He was inviting me _home_.

I was eighteen inches from safety, and with my strength depleted I could no longer deny myself my one and only desire. So with every ounce of faith I could muster, I slowly closed the gap between us and crawled into Edward's lap. He hesitated for a moment, but then his strong arms enveloped me and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt truly safe. With my head tucked under his chin and his embrace solid and secure, I let the pain have me.

My hands fisted Edward's shirt as I tried to get even closer to him. I wanted to be consumed by him, to disappear in the refuge of his embrace. Almost as if he could read my mind, his arms tightened even more as he began rocking us back and forth. His soothing whispers of affirmations soon melted into humming. I was sure I had never heard the melody before but at the same time it was so familiar. It was comforting, but could not fully ebb the grief that was consuming me.

**EPOV**

My heart swelled so big with love that it literally hurt as I held this exquisite creature. Her strength never ceased to amaze me. I could see the courage it took for her to let me hold her and I vowed to myself that I would never do anything that would break that sacred trust. After weeks of feeling as though I was missing a limb, I finally felt whole.

As her sobs at last began to quiet into whimpers, some of my family decided to take their leave. Emmett followed Jasper out the back door and my mom pointed to her cell phone indicating she needed to finish her interrupted call as she slipped out towards the study. Alice and Rosalie each took a seat at the table, not wanting to interfere but also not wanting to abandon their friend.  
Bella's whimpers quieted even more and her breathing evened and deepened as her exhaustion finally set in. I looked down at the now sleeping angel in my arms with wonder and fascination. She was so small, and yet so strong. So timid, and yet so fierce. So broken, and yet so courageous. I stared at her in awe, being brought from my trance only by the movement of my sisters getting up from the table.

"C'mon Edward," Alice whispered, "We'll help you get her back to bed."

"No, Alice. It took so much for her to come down here. I don't want to take her back until she says she wants to go."

"Well you can't stay here in the middle of the floor." She countered.

"Why don't you just take her to the couch?" Rosalie suggested. "It'll at least be more comfortable than the floor."

I nodded my agreement and slowly started to get up. Rosalie and Alice helped to steady me so that we minimized jostling Bella as much as possible. Once on my feet, I carried my sleeping treasure into the movie room because it had the most comfortable couch. I thought briefly about just laying her down on her own, but every time I even remotely loosened my hold on her she would whimper and grip my shirt tighter. Besides, there was no way I could bring myself to let her go now that I finally had her in my arms. So I sat down with her on my lap. Alice propped some pillows around me to support my arms and Rose gently laid a throw over Bella. I whispered my thanks to my sisters and watched as they settled themselves on the loveseat whispering quietly about what should happen next.

I was curious about their thoughts but not enough to divert my attention from the sleeping form in my arms. Her head had fallen back and was now resting on the crook of my left arm. She was turned somewhat towards me with her legs drawn in as far as she could get them. Her hands, though relaxed more now, were still clinging to my shirt. Her face, even in sleep, was not fully relaxed. Her brow was still slightly furrowed, and her lips pressed together in a small frown. The small scab on her lip and the yellow tint of her healing bruises may have indicated the near end of her physical suffering, but her expression told the story of her continued mental anguish. I lightly stroked her face hoping to smooth out some of the tension, but she was unyielding in her suffering. Though her misery was hard to bear, I couldn't help but feel that a small part of my heart was now healed. I only hoped that when she woke up, she felt the same.

**BPOV**

As consciousness invaded I felt oddly serene, and I slowly began to process why. The feel of his skin under my cheek and the familiarity of his scent was like a balm on my raw nerves, and I began to question what took me so long to get here.

"Rose? Do you really think she'll be ok?" Edward's hushed child-like plea was heartbreaking.

"Yes, Edward. I honestly believe she's going to make it through this." Rosalie quietly replied.

"She was so angry, so fast. I didn't mean to upset her."

"Her reaction was totally normal. And quite a good sign actually."

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Why don't we let her finish waking up and I will explain it to both of you."

I could practically hear Rosalie's raised eyebrow as she spoke. I wasn't really trying to eavesdrop, I was actually just enjoying being so close to Edward and I feared that once I woke up, he would leave.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt. " I said softly, stifling a yawn. "And I didn't want to have to move."

I sheepishly looked up through my eyelashes at Edward, whose eyes widened a bit before his face broke into his million dollar smile. He scooped me up so that I was sitting more upright and pulled me tightly to his chest.

"And you will never have to move from here if I have anything to say about it."

His soft, yet fervent declaration caused my cheeks to stain and I was glad my face was buried from his view. It was not, however, buried from Rosalie's, and as I began to melt into Edward I caught what seemed to be a little bit of a smirk on her face.

"You're awake! How are you feeling, Bella?" Alice said as she skipped into the room.

"I'm better, I guess. Thanks Alice. I'm sorry for causing more trouble."

"Oh please, Bella. It was no biggie. I'm just glad you're feeling better."

"Speaking of feeling better…" Rosalie interjected. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"Umm...Not much." I replied honestly. "Just something about a normal reaction."

Rosalie nodded. "That's right. I was just about to explain to Edward that I think your reaction to him, the anger and the breakdown, was totally normal and actually a step in the right direction."

"But I totally freaked out! How could that possibly be a step in the right direction?"

"Yes, but that was good." She continued. "You're moving forward, much like a grieving process. And do you even realize that today was the first time you placed blame in the appropriate place? On those pieces of crap that did this to you, instead of blaming yourself? That's huge!"

"Do you really think so?" Tears began to form in my eyes as I looked around the room and registered the confidence on the faces of the three people closest to me. They all actually believed that I was not only going to recover, but that I was worth saving.

Alice, who had sat down next to us, reached over and took my hand, while Rosalie moved to kneel in front of the couch and took my other hand. I looked up at her and offered a weak smile.

"Bella, I don't just think so. I _know_ so. You _are_ going to make it. And we will be here for you every step of the way."

"I…I don't know what to say." I was so amazed by their love and support which caused even more tears to flow freely down my cheeks.

"You don't have to say anything, love. That's what family is for." Edward's voice seemed to wrap around and cocoon me in love and protection. I had craved this type of security so long that the sensation was overwhelming and I lost complete control of my emotions, once again crying uncontrollably into Edward's much abused shirt. Yes, this is what family should be for. Love and support, not pain and fear. I had almost forgotten that.

"Why don't I take you back to your room? I'm sure you'll be more comfortable."

I stiffened as soon as the words left his mouth. I wasn't ready for him to leave me, and he must've sensed this because he quickly amended.

"I'll stay with you, Bella. If that's what you want."

I nodded weakly, and he stood easily as if I weighed no more than a feather. Rosalie kissed me on the forehead and Alice kissed me on my cheek, before they scooted ahead saying something about making sure my room was in order.

I couldn't believe how tired I was. My eyelids were so heavy and I couldn't stop from yawning. But sleep had never been so uninviting before, as I didn't want to waste one moment of being with Edward. Glancing up, I found him watching my struggle with the sandman with an amused look on his face, and I furrowed my eyebrows in exhausted confusion to which he chuckled.

"Sleep, my love. I'll be here when you wake." He whispered before leaning down and kissing my forehead softly, causing a warmth to fan out from that spot and pulse through my entire body relaxing every inch of me.

I barely registered that we were moving up the stairs. I knew that I couldn't fight sleep any longer, but I had to say something before it could take me.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! And thank you for your patience while I have been away! You all are awesome! :)**


	23. Shrinking Is Not An Option

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest and a lovely bunch of coconuts, standing in a row ;)**

**A/N: Thanks as always to my beta, timeaovergain. And huge thank yous to my pre-readers and crisis management team…CatMasters, Hev99, and Nostalgicmiss. I couldn't do this without you!**

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Chapter 23: Shrinking Is Not An Option

**EPOV**

She loves me. She. Loves. _Me_. Astronauts on the moon had more weight than I felt right then. I don't remember the rest of our journey to her room. I'm not even sure how we got there. I don't care either. The only thing that mattered were those three half-mumbled words that fell from the lips of the astonishing girl in my arms. After everything she had been through, the fact that she could still love or trust anyone was mind-boggling to me. Don't get me wrong, I could not be more grateful that she did, and it was just another testament to me of her incredible strength.

"What's with you?" Alice quirked an eyebrow at me as I carried a now soundly sleeping Bella into her room.

"What do you mean?" I feigned innocence. After all, I was sure I could feel the corners of my mouth actually touching my ears.

"We left you two alone for like, two minutes. What happened? Spill," she demanded.

I chuckled a bit as I slowly lowered Bella onto the freshly changed and turned down bed. I pulled the covers over her slight form, and lightly kissed her forehead before turning to face the two sister firing squad.

"Outside. Now," Alice ordered.

I followed them out into the hallway and closed the door.

"So?" Alice was bouncing and Rosalie was rolling her eyes.

I grinned even wider. "She loves me, Alice."

"And?"

"And what? She loves me!" I was starting to get a little confused.

"Yeah, yeah. So what happened?"

"That _is_ what happened! She told me she loved me." Now I was getting frustrated. I thought of all people she would be excited.

I watched, perplexed, as Rosalie and Alice exchanged looks and seemingly an entire silent conversation. Somebody really needs to write a girl to boy translation dictionary, because I would give anything to have one right now.

"What?" I finally asked, exasperated.

"Oh, sorry," Alice giggled. "It's just that I've known, and so consequently everyone else has known, that she loves you, and you her, since the day we went shopping at the mall. I hate to burst your bubble Edward, but this really isn't news."

I just gaped at her. "Everyone knows?" I stammered.

"Are you really that thick, Edward?" Rosalie taunted with a smirk.

I turned my befuddled gaze on her.

"Look Edward, I'm glad she told you she loves you and that it made you so happy." Rosalie's tone turned serious. "But don't think for even one minute that she is ready for a normal relationship. Just because she made some progress today doesn't mean she won't be catatonic tomorrow."

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brow as she sucked the life out of my earlier elation.

"She needs time to heal, Edward. You know that. But she's going to be two steps forward, one step back for a while. And sometimes even one step forward, two steps back. I talked to Carlisle, and he put a call into Dr. Masen. She's coming over later to talk to whoever wants to talk. I think it would be good for you to talk to her a bit, and then I thought we could introduce her to Bella. Whether she wants to talk or not, she will at least know there's someone she _can _talk to when she's ready."

I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to Dr. Masen. Maybe I should. I know she helped Emmett. She helped my whole family. But this felt different somehow.

"This is so…frustrating." I sighed. "I wouldn't know what to talk about."

"How about you just start with 'I'm frustrated', and take it from there?" Rosalie said kindly, before heading off down the hall.

Alice and I stood silently with our thoughts for a moment before she reached to open Bella's door.

"It's ok, Shorty. I'll sit with her for a while. You go find Jasper. I know he misses you."

Without a word, she hopped up and kissed my cheek before prancing down the hall. I watched her until she disappeared around the corner, and then as quietly as I could, I let myself back into Bella's room. She hadn't moved an inch since I had left. I took a seat in the chair by her bed and drank in the sight of her in peaceful slumber.

It was only early evening but this day felt like it started yesterday. I carefully placed my hand under hers and laid my head down on the edge of her bed. I needed to touch her somehow, but I wanted her to have the power to pull away. The day's events replayed in my mind, and when I got to her father showing up at the house it was all I could do to not run off and pulverize something. Preferably him, but anything would do. I fast-forwarded to Bella sleeping in my arms and instantly felt my blood-pressure stabilize. And then she told me she loved me and the world stopped spinning. In that moment I ceased to exist for any reason other than to be hers. She owns me body and soul and I would gladly give either for her happiness.

She pulled her hand off of mine and the loss of her touch was bizarrely and irrationally monumental. I had to get a grip. I couldn't touch her twenty-four hours a day. I had to figure out how to… My thought was interrupted as her small hand found its way into my hair and scratched along my scalp before finding purchase with a light grasp. For a moment I thought she might be awake, but her breathing hadn't changed. I must have been more tired than I realized, because the euphoric and relaxing sensation of her hand in my hair knocked me out like chloroform.

*0*0*0*

I was awakened by Alice "awww-ing" as she took in the sight of Bella's hand still securely intertwined with my hair.

"What is it, Alice?" I groaned, still groggy from sleep.

"Dr. Masen is here. She's in Dad's office and wants to see you."

"Alright," I sighed. "Help get me loose, would ya? I don't want to wake her."

Alice gently extricated Bella's hand from my hair and I sat up and stretched. I was a little stiff from sleeping in such an awkward position, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I kissed Bella's cheek and left her in the care of my pint-sized twin as I headed off to my room to change my very well used shirt. Checking myself in the mirror, I decided that even though my eyes were a bit swollen, my appearance was acceptable. I did, however, have to laugh at the fact that even though I had just slept for an hour with my girl's hand wrapped in my hair, you couldn't really see any difference from how it normally looked. It definitely had a mind of its own.

My stomach fluttered with nerves as I walked to my dad's office. I had seen Dr. Masen on numerous occasions before, but only in group sessions with my family. This was a new experience.

"Edward!" She greeted me warmly. "It's so nice to see you again, although I wish it were under different circumstances."

"It's nice to see you too, Dr. Masen." I shook her hand and then sat on the couch where she had indicated.

"So…your dad has filled me in on Miss Swan's physical injuries as well as some of the behaviors she has demonstrated in the past couple of weeks. But the first thing I want to know is what your relationship with her is."

Dr. Masen doesn't like to beat around the bush, she apparently just likes to chop it down.

"Well." I cleared my throat. "I love her. And she loves me. I don't really know exactly what you want to know, but I know it's bothering me to be away from her right now."

"That essentially tells me all I need to know about that. I'm happy for you Edward. And I want this to work out for you. As Emmett and Rosalie have demonstrated, it _is_ possible to forge a relationship after such a horrific event. I can help you if you'll let me. And I hope that Miss Swan will be willing to talk to me too. I will make myself available to the needs of this house just as I did before. Don't ever hesitate to call if something gets overwhelming, ok?"

"Okay," I agreed. I didn't want to admit it, but it did feel comforting having an extra safety net.

"Now," she continued. "Is there anything you would like to talk about today?"

"Uh, I guess I feel frustrated."

**BPOV**

I woke to find Alice sitting next to me, bopping along to whatever was coming out of her iPod, while sketching in a notebook.

"Alice?" No response. "Alice!"

She popped out an ear bud. "Oh, hey Bella. Sorry about that. Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah, I guess. Where's Edward?" I actually found myself quite disappointed that he wasn't here.

"Oh, he's meeting with Dr. Masen. He'll be back soon."

"Who's Dr. Masen? Is he sick?"

"Only if love is a disease." She giggled and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Dr. Masen is a psychologist," she continued. "She's a colleague of my dad's at the hospital and she has been working with our family for years. She's great Bella. You'll really like her. She worked miracles with Rosalie and I know she can help you too."

"No."

"What?"

"No, Alice. I don't want to talk to a psychologist."

"Why not? It could help you Bella."

"I can't, Alice. I'm not even sure how I'm going to manage telling the FBI. It's not just that I don't _want _to talk about it. Well, it is, but I _can't_ talk about it."

"Will you at least meet her? You don't have to talk. Just let her introduce herself."

I supposed I could do that much. I owed the Cullen's more than I could ever repay as it stood. The least I could do was be cordial to one of Carlisle's colleagues.

"Alright," I sighed. "I'll meet her."

I hadn't showered yet for the day, and I was still a little unsteady when I had to tilt my head back to wash my hair, so Alice helped me. I would be so glad when I didn't feel like an invalid anymore. After drying off I put on a pair of black yoga pants and a matching light weight hoodie. Alice insisted that once I no longer needed to wear Emmett's old t-shirts that I had to have "cute comfies". Still not strong enough to battle Alice, I acquiesced. As it turns out, the stuff she bought for me is actually really comfortable. And what do you know? It's cute too. Go figure.  
Alice helped me dry and brush out my hair, and just as I was settling back into bed there was a knock at the door.

Alice opened it and a sheepish looking Edward walked in. Is it possible he got even more perfect in the last couple of hours?

"Hi," he said shyly.

"Hi." I matched his shyness and raised him a blush.

"Uh, there's someone here who wants to meet you." He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"Yeah, Alice told me. I'll meet her, but I don't want to talk," I quietly replied while absently picking at a loose string on my quilt.

"Ok. That's fine. I'll go get her."

He returned just a couple of minutes later with an attractive woman. She looked to be in her early forties, with dark brown hair that hung in loose waves just slightly below her shoulders. She had warm brown eyes and wore grey slacks and a pale pink blouse that complimented her tanned skin.

"Bella? This is Dr. Elizabeth Masen. Dr. Masen? This is Bella Swan," Edward introduced us.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella." She offered her hand and I shook it gingerly. Her smile was warm and comforting and she had a very calm demeanor. If I _could_ talk to anyone, I would probably feel ok talking to her.

"It's nice to meet you too, Dr. Masen," I offered timidly.

"Call me Elizabeth, please. May I sit with you for a moment?" she asked, gesturing to the chair by the bed.

"I guess so." Alice scooted off the chair so that Dr. Masen could sit down. I looked questioningly at Edward, who just shrugged. Didn't he tell her I didn't want to talk?

"So Bella, what kinds of things are you interested in?" she asked. It seemed benign enough.

"Um, I don't know. I guess I like to read."

"Really? What's your favorite genre?"

"I, uh, like the classics. Especially Bronte and Austin. But I don't get to read as much as I would like. If Charlie…" I stopped myself. My heart thumping as I unwittingly brought up Charlie. My eyes widened as anxiety flooded my body.

"Bella? Can you tell me why you're so upset? If Charlie what?" she prompted.

Edward came to sit on my other side and reached to take my hand. I flinched at first contact, but allowed his warm hand to encase my cold one. His touch was instantly soothing, and calmed me enough to answer the doctor.

"They're my mom's old books," I whispered. "Charlie threw out all of my mom's stuff, but I snuck the books out of the trash. I keep them hidden in my closet. If he found out I had them, he would…um…it would be bad."

"He would punish you?"

I nodded.

"Bella, I want you to know that Carlisle consulted with me on your medical file. I have been fully briefed on your recent physical injuries, as well as your past injuries. But I'm more concerned about how you are coping. You have a wonderful support system with this family, but sometimes it's nice to speak to a third party. You will find no judgment with me, only an attentive ear and a shoulder when necessary. Thank you for sharing with me about your mother's books. That was very brave of you, and I hope you will consider talking more to me in the future."

Damn. She's good.

"Yes, ma'am. I promise to consider it."

"I will be around the house once or twice a week to speak with other family members. May I check in with you, and at least say hello?"

"Yes, ma'am. I guess that would be ok." She stood and offered her hand.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Bella," she said warmly, as I shook her offered hand.

"You too, ma'am."

"Edward. Alice," she acknowledged them as she left the room. Edward simply nodded to her  
as Alice said, "Bye, Dr. Masen."

I stared at the door long after she left. It was such an odd experience. I had never planned on speaking to her about Charlie or anything for that matter, but I did. And what's even stranger, I wasn't really that upset by it. What could that mean? I knew I wasn't ready to talk about _it _yet, but I also knew that I had to tell the FBI. My brow puckered and an involuntary shudder rippled through my body as I reminded myself that I had committed to give a statement.

"Bella? Are you ok?" Edward asked, noticing my tremor.

"Honestly? I'm not sure," I whispered.

He sat on the chair by my bed and took my hand, his face the picture of concern and slight confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I..." I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to say, but it didn't matter because before I could say anymore there was a knock on the door. Alice opened it, and Carlisle and Esme entered wearing unreadable expressions. My heart began to pound a little harder waiting for them to speak.

"Bella?" Carlisle began, caution in his voice, his face a calm mask. "I just got off the phone with the FBI."

My pulse was now pounding in my ears, as my body froze completely. I wasn't ready for this yet. I had been too hasty in my decision, and I had to change it. I couldn't do this; I couldn't tell anyone else. I envisioned the disappointment on the Cullen's' faces when I told them I had changed my mind, causing guilt to link arms with the horror I was already feeling. I knew I needed to do this for them, but I just didn't know how I could. I was confused and terrified, but the next words sliced through my haze of sheer panic like a machete.

"The agents will be here tomorrow afternoon for your statement."

The words I knew would come, and yet I was still woefully unprepared to hear, echoed in my ears as my vision began to cloud. I couldn't breathe, and I felt an instant chill run down my spine as my fear was confirmed. I could hear random voices and words being thrown around, but none of it made any sense. It was a jumbled mess of light and noise that seemed to be fading further and further away. But above the all the commotion, I began to hear a song that seemed to be fighting its way towards me. It became louder and louder until it was all I could hear, wrapping me in soothing rhythms and caressing my soul with a soft melody. It entered my body, running throughout and synchronizing everything to its tempo. My heart began to beat in time, and my breathing deepened and evened out with the flow of the tune. I could feel my body systematically relaxing as the adrenaline drained, taking the last of my energy with it. A small sigh passed through my lips, as I allowed my exhaustion to carry me away.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! :)**


	24. Resolve

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words, and a desire to be silly and go see "Vampires Suck". Anyone wanna go with? ;)**

**A/N: Thank you to my beta, _timeaovergain_, for going on an error hunt. ****And a big thank you to my team of pre-readers/padded cell guards, _CatMasters_,_ Hev99_, and _Nostalgicmiss_.  
I'd be lost without all these remarkable ladies.**

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Chapter 24: Resolve

**BPOV**

I woke the next morning quite groggy, with a dull headache. My eyelids felt as if they weighed ten pounds apiece, and I imagined this must be what it felt like to be hung-over; though what I was hung-over from was certainly not from anything pleasurable. The previous night's panic attack was sudden, severe, and frustrating. The fear was bad enough, but to have it amplified a thousand times over, causing a complete loss of body control just added humiliation to the mix. Everyone kept telling me it was normal, but nothing about this situation was normal.

I continued my contemplation while trying to lay as still as possible, so as not to disturb Alice. She had taken to sleeping with me recently, saying it saved her the trip. Her room was the closest to mine and she was the one who always came in to wake me when I was having a nightmare. I told her several times not to bother, but true to Alice, she just ignored me and came in anyway. I could see the exhaustion on her face after particularly bad nights, and it broke my heart to know that I was such a burden on her. Noticing that my throat felt slightly raw when I swallowed, I was determined to not wake her. Last night had been bad.

About an hour later, Alice woke, offering me a sweet "good morning" through her yawn, and I reciprocated her greeting before returning to my thoughts. For the past hour I had been steeling myself, and attempting to prepare for the day's event. I had to beat back the panic that threatened every time I thought about giving my statement to the FBI. But I also knew that if didn't do it that I would most likely be forced back to Charlie's, and my heart raced with fear at the mere thought of it.

Alice helped me get ready for the day, chattering nonstop the whole time. I didn't always listen, but the constant hum of noise had become quite comforting over the past weeks. I'm not sure what compelled Alice to help me pick up my books that first day of school, but I will forever be grateful. She's the best friend I've ever had and it terrified me to think of never seeing her again. But as scared as I was of losing Alice, I knew I would not live if they took me away from Edward. This is why I had to give my statement. I just wish I didn't have to say the words in order to do it.

The morning continued with the typical ins and outs of people in my room. When my nerves got the better of me, and I declined the invitation to join everyone downstairs for breakfast, Edward took it upon himself to bring me a tray of that morning's fare. It was sweet of him, and he sat quietly with me while I picked at some toast, my stomach rolling in protest as Edward eyed me like I would break at any minute.

"I'm sorry," I finally told him. "I'm just not very hungry."

"Bella, please. You need to eat something," he pleaded.

His eyes were so full of concern and love that I had to look away. What used to trap me in a helpless state of overwhelming happiness, now more than anything just overwhelmed me. I had told him that I loved him, and I do with everything I am. But that was also the problem. Everything I am was not enough. I wasn't a whole person anymore, and he deserved someone who was. I knew it was incredibly cowardly of me to tell him how I felt; I should have had the courage to let him go. But I wasn't strong enough, and as my mind swirled with feelings of weakness, guilt, confusion, and self-loathing I felt familiar fingers tentatively touch my chin, beckoning my eyes to once again meet his burning gaze.

"Bella, I can see the conflict in your eyes. But please, believe me when I say that you are worth it. You are everything to me, and I will be here for you, always. No matter what."

My eyes pricked with tears at his sweet declaration. I wanted so badly to believe his words that it physically hurt. He was like an angel, sent to save me from Hell. But I had more than one hell, and although he saved me from one, was it even possible for him to save me from the other? My own personal hell that has held me captive, growing in its power over me for years, had finally overtaken me, and I had no idea how to escape. I could feel Edward reaching in and trying to grab hold of me, but he was just out of reach and I couldn't make myself move any closer.

Pulling my face away from his hand, I laid back down on my pillow and curled my legs in. Even though the resonating tingle from his touch made me yearn for more contact, my mind was overloaded, and I could feel myself sinking away. In the distance I heard Edward call to me. I knew he must still be sitting on the chair close to my bed, but I was no longer really there. I had gone to my distant place, where no one could hurt me. While I was there, there was no pain, no fear, no sadness, no anything. It was like I was completely numb, almost as if I didn't exist at all. Voices ghosted around me, sometimes closer and sometimes farther away, but never completely clear. My vision retreated as if I saw everything through a long tunnel, disconnecting me from my surroundings. I liked it there. It was the only place I could relax at all.

It had been quiet for a while now, and even my thoughts had surrendered to the numbness, allowing me to float and be free. But along with not feeling the pain, it also kept me from feeling the love of those near me. And although at first I considered that a bonus, I wasn't so sure of that anymore. It did, however, give me a safe place to go when even love got overwhelming.

There were voices far away now, the hum of random words getting closer and closer. A new voice joined the thrum and I could hear what sounded vaguely like my name being called over and over. Slowly the new voice became clearer, increasing in volume and closeness. Feeling myself surfacing, I blinked a few times, and tried to focus my eyes. There was a figure in front of me, with warm brown eyes, and a kind smile that gradually sharpened from their previously blurry state.

"There you are, Bella. It's lovely to see you again," Dr. Masen said softly. "You gave us a bit of a scare."

I blushed furiously as I realized that most of the family was standing in my room.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unable to look anyone in the eye.

"Don't be sorry, love." Edward said moving into my line of sight. "We're just glad to have you back. I thought I'd lost you again." He said the last part quietly, and with such despair that my head felt a little woozy as the guilt came flooding back full force.

"Ok everyone, let's give her a chance to breathe." Carlisle interjected, rescuing me from further humiliation as he began to usher people out the door until just Himself, Edward, Esme and Dr. Masen were left.

"Bella, sweetie, are you sure you still want to do this?" Esme's maternal voice always sounded so soothing to me, but in this situation I wasn't sure anything could calm me.

"I just...I have to." I barely got out as my heart rose into my throat.

"Fair enough," Carlisle said. "But if it gets to be too much, you just let us know and we will end it immediately. Ok?"

Not trusting my voice, I simply nodded. I was grateful that they were so willing to stop the interview, but I couldn't help but feel that I may only have the strength to do this once, so I really had no choice. It was now or never.

"Bella?" Dr. Masen now claimed my attention. "I know that you and I don't really know each other very well, but I know the rest of the family quite well and am talking with many of them regularly. In order to help the whole family, and hopefully you as well, it would be helpful for me to understand as much about the situation as I can. So, with your permission, I would like to sit in on your interview. Would that be okay with you?"

Well at least that explained why she was here. I thought about her request for a moment, attempting to lift the last of the fog so I could think it through clearly. I guess she already knew most of what happened anyway so it probably didn't make that much difference. Plus, if she thought it would help her help the others, then I would do it for that reason alone. It wasn't much, but at least I could feel like I did _something _useful for a change.

"Ok," I whispered.

"Very well," she replied as she and Carlisle exchanged nods. "Thank you, Bella."

"Bella?" Carlisle stepped forward. "The agents that are going to take your statement are waiting in my office."

I could feel the blood drain from my face.

"Th...They're here?" I choked out as the panic once again reverberated in my chest. Edward instantly cradled my face in his hands, causing an involuntary flinch before my mind registered fully that it was him. Deep pools of green beseeched me with desperate determination.

"Bella, love, stay with me," he gently ordered. "Breathe."

My head was swirling with dizziness, as I fought to hang on to my consciousness. Edward's gentle hands were now supporting the full weight of my head, and with every ounce of strength I could muster, I kept my eyes locked on his; the intensity of his gaze held me in place, forbidding me to give in. Gaining courage through the determination in his eyes, I slowly began to match my breathing to his deep, steady rhythm. And the cloudiness on the edges of my vision soon began to retreat until everything was once again clear.

Relief flooded his face as he realized that I had not succumbed to the panic this time, and admittedly, I was quite relieved as well. And a little proud of myself.

"We'll give you two a minute," Carlisle quietly stated. "We'll be waiting in my office."

Edward nodded and we both watched as his parents and Dr. Masen left quietly. The stress on everyone was palpable in their cautious actions and words. I know they were concerned that I wouldn't make it through this interview, and honestly, so was I.

"I'm not sure I can do this." I whispered, as I looked up to see Edward's emerald eyes staring at me, full of concern.

"If you truly don't feel you can, then I will gladly send them away. But I don't want you to not do this out of fear. These agents are not only here to help you, but they are also in this house, and I promise you...you will never have to be afraid of anything in this house, ever."

Edward's fiercely determine expression gave no room for misunderstanding. He fervently believed every word he had just said, and although my first instinct was to find the loopholes with my doubt, for once I couldn't. I needed his strength if I had any hope of making it through this interview. So I took a chance, mustered all my faith and dared to believe the boy I loved.

A solemn nod was all I could offer, as he continued to lightly hold my face in his hands. With a deep sigh and trepidation in his eyes, he slowly lowered his head towards me. My heart rate spiked and my eyes widened as I tried desperately to fight the building alarm. Edward's expression was of concern, but also determination as he closed the distance between us and placed his lips ever so gently on my forehead. I closed my eyes as the tears began to form, reveling in the loving gesture.

The sense of loss was sharp and immediate as he pulled away, while his thumbs gently wiped away the escaped tears on my cheeks. His eyes, bright green pools of what could only be described as devotion, immediately began to melt the cool sting of loss into a building warmth within me. It was as if simply Edward's presence was a potter's kiln, hardening my resolve as I held his gaze.

"Let's go." I whispered, suddenly feeling stronger than I had in weeks.

Edward nodded and then stepped back and offered his hand. My brow furrowed in concentration as I willed my trembling hand to reach up and slide into his steady one. With a gentle tug, he raised me up and wrapped his other arm around my waist to support me. My whole body trembled as I leaned into Edward and allowed him to lead me slowly forward.

The walk to Carlisle's office felt too long and too short all at once, and as we approached, the low hum of voices shot through me like ice water, stopping me dead. Edward nearly stumbled with my sudden halt, but recovered quickly and tightened his hold on me.

"Just breathe Bella. It's gonna be ok. I'm right here."

A few deep breaths later, I was once again moving forward. But nothing could prepare me for what I saw when Edward pushed the door open wider.

"Uncle Phil?" I gasped, eyes wide with disbelief. Phil Dwyer, my father's former second in command at the station. I never knew where he went after he left three years ago, but as he stood before me in his dark suit and FBI identification badge it all became clear as to why I hadn't seen him in so long. His face held concern and guilt as he looked on me for the first time since he left.

"Hey, Bells." He offered, almost apologetically as he made his way towards me. My mind screamed that he was safe, but my body didn't listen and cowered into Edward's side, effectively stopping Phil's advance. "Sorry," he offered quietly as he backed himself to his former position. I felt guilty instantly that I couldn't accept his affections. He wasn't my uncle by blood, but he was so close to my family growing up that he might as well have been. I had missed him terribly over the last few years, and was flooded with memories as I took in his familiar face. Barbeques in the back yard, piggy-back rides, laughter, joy, and even the time Phil played Santa and I accidentally ripped off his beard. It was strange to be back there, in this different lifetime. But seeing Phil took me back almost as if no time had passed at all, and my heart yearned for those simpler times, for the warmth, the love, my mother.

Edward's gentle pat on my shoulder brought me back to the present and I quickly wiped the tear that had escaped. Lifting my eyes from the floor, I found Phil again. He was watching me carefully, his head tilted slightly, his face aged with worry.

"Bella, it's so good to see you again. You've grown even more beautiful. I'm just so sorry that this is the circumstance that has brought us back together." Phil stated, his voice a mixture of cool professionalism and almost fatherly concern.

My brow creased, and my jaw clenched as I nodded quickly to him the only acknowledgement I could offer.

"This is Agent Tanya Morrison." He indicated the tall strawberry blonde to his right. Her features were sharp, but her eyes held a hint of softness behind their steel grey exterior.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella." Agent Morrison offered in a pleasant voice. "Agent Dwyer and I will conduct your interview. There's nothing to be afraid of, and we can take as many breaks as you need, ok?" I nodded as she continued. "It's my understanding that Dr. and Mrs. Cullen as well as Dr. Masen will be sitting in, is that correct?"

It was only now that I realized that Edward was going to have to leave me, and my stomach fluttered uncontrollably at the thought. I was torn between not wanting him to know and feeling like I couldn't do this without him.

"Edward can't stay?" My voice quivered with the emotion I was fighting desperately to suppress.

"I'm sorry, but we can't allow minors to sit in on interviews." Agent Morrison replied sympathetically.

"It's ok, Bella." Edward said before he pulled me into a full embrace, and lowered his mouth so that he could whisper in my ear, causing a dizzy confusion.

"Bella, I don't want to leave you, but they won't let me stay." He whispered so low that only I could hear. "What if I turned on the intercom? I could listen, and then all you have to do is call me and I will be here. They don't have to know."

I knew I didn't have much time to decide. Did I want him to hear? I knew the thought of him being so close was comforting, but what if he truly couldn't handle the truth of what I am? What if he could? I didn't know what to think, all I could do was look up at him and try to convey my confusion silently. He must have understood, because he whispered to me again.

"Please believe me when I say that nothing, and I mean _nothing_, will change my feelings for you. You are my life now. I would do anything for you. I can have the others join me if you want. We'll be your own personal cavalry."

His words soothed and calmed, and once again my resolve hardened and before I really even knew what I was doing, I nodded into his shoulder. His responding nod was subtle and he kissed me on top of the head before passing me into Esme's waiting arms.

"Be brave. I love you," he said almost reverently.

I watched him walk away, pausing briefly at the door to turn and look at me one last time before turning back again, his hand nonchalantly brushing over the intercom panel on the wall before he pulled the door closed.

My mind seemed to disconnect somewhat with my body as the door clicked shut. I could feel Esme pulling me down onto the couch with her, and I frantically tried to get a grip as my stomach sank. Esme tightened her hold as I took some deep breaths and looked up at the sound of Phil's voice.

"Shall we begin?"

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! :)**


	25. Unraveled

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words.**

**A/N: Thank you to my Beta, **_**timeaovergain**_**. And thank you to my pre-readers and nightlights in the darkness, **_**CatMasters**_**, **_**Hev99**_**, and **_**Nostalgicmiss**_**. **

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Chapter 25: Unraveled

**EPOV**

Closing that door and walking away from her was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The look on her face when I turned back to see her one more time made my blood run cold. I could see the life draining from her as she retreated into the dark places of her mind. And knowing what was coming, knowing what they were going to make her talk about, had my hands shaking in anger and my stomach rolling in disgust. The urgency to hear what was going on in there, to monitor it so that I could be ready if she needed me, had my pace quickening, knocking on bedroom doors as I hurried towards the kitchen. I couldn't be bothered to wait for them to answer before moving along to the next one, but before I reached the stairs the sound of multiple doors opening echoed down the hallway.

"What's going on, Edward?" Alice asked.

"Just come with me, and hurry."

I could hear the confused ramblings of my siblings as they followed me, their curiosity outweighing their annoyance at being disturbed, but I didn't really care. All I cared about was getting to my destination quickly so that I could hear if she needed me. What if she had already called for me, and I didn't hear because I wasn't moving fast enough? I sped my descent and was practically running full speed for the kitchen, having to grip the door frame in order to make the turn without slamming myself into the wall. The footsteps of the others hammered on the floor as they each tried to keep pace with me. Jasper, and then Emmett bowled through the door, followed by Alice, mirroring Jasper and Emmett's concerned looks, and finally Rosalie, just looking irritated.

"What's going on? Where's the fire?" Emmett inquired as he slowed his breathing from the sudden exertion.

I didn't really know how to explain, and I didn't want to take the time to, so I simply walked over to the intercom on the wall and flipped it on, simultaneously hitting the mute button so that we couldn't be heard. Instantly, the words of the no longer private conversation going on upstairs poured out of the box on the wall.

_"...taking it slow. Just let us know when you need a break or if you need anything else. ok?"_

"Edward! Is that what I think it is?" Alice spat out, her eyes wide with disbelief. I just nodded.

"Turn it off, Edward!" Rosalie ordered, moving towards the controls that I was blocking. "I won't let you invade her privacy like this. It isn't right. This is her story to tell on _her_ terms, not yours."

I held my hand up to halt her advance. "It's ok, Rose. She gave me permission. She wants us to listen so that we can help her if she calls. We're like back-up."

"What about Mom and Dad? Do they know?" Emmett challenged.

"No. I asked Bella secretly and she agreed. There's no way anyone else up there would agree to this."

"Edward," Alice said, her voice hesitant and concerned. "You don't know...I mean, are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Honestly? I don't know, but I don't really have a choice now. I promised her I would listen in case she needed me. I don't know why. All I know is that she was afraid, and I would've said or done anything to help calm her fears." I admitted before turning to everyone. "I understand if you guys don't want to listen to this, but I promised her I would be here, so I'm staying put."

I could see the deliberation going on in each of their heads. Alice and Rosalie whispered their thoughts to one another in an effort to make the right decision. The near silence in the room was broken only by the voice of Agent Dwyer floating out of the speaker.

_"...Why don't we start at the beginning? When did your father become abusive towards you?..._

_...um...a few weeks after my mom died I guess..." _Her voice was small and distant.

I noticed that all eyes were on the wall to my right. Their expressions, a mix of concern and guilt, stayed unchanged as they each fumbled for a seat, not one of them diverting their eyes.

We stayed relatively quiet as we listen to Bella's early encounters with the increasingly drunk and dastardly Chief Swan. Alice gasped audibly as Bella described being locked in the basement for days at a time, being forced to take ice cold showers, and being kicked in the shins and thighs by him while he wore his work boots. All because of stupid stuff like his dinner was still being put on the plate when he walked through the door instead of already being on the table, or his laundry wasn't folded just so. The tears began to pour down Alice's cheeks.

"It's so much worse than she told me." Alice' strangled whisper hung in the air. There was no response to that. I clinched and unclenched my fists as I struggled to contain my anger. My stomach wound itself into knots at the thought of her, still racked with grief over the loss of her mother, being forced to endure the cruelty of a once loving father. I don't know how anybody could make sense of something like that. Taking deep breaths, I tried to get a grip on myself, knowing it was only going to get worse from here.

Bella's voice, growing more and more robotic and distant, continued her story.

_"...It was my fourteenth birthday...my present was a man's belt. He cuffed me to the stairs and... he...hit me with it..."_

Acid burned up my throat, and the room began to take on a red tint to it. I knew my body was shaking, but I couldn't really feel it. Alice was now listening stoically, apparently already aware of this part of the story. Jasper features were dark, his eyes raged with fury. Tucked securely in the lap of a slightly green Emmett, Rosalie had her face buried in his chest, her shaking shoulders the only indication of her emotions.

The story moved forward as Bella recounted previously untold abuses. I was nearly dizzy with rage as I listened to her inhumane treatment in her own home, and I had to choke back the bile as a new realization hit me... She hasn't had a day, not one single day in five years, that she has not been in pain. It was so overwhelming to think about that I had to grab the table to steady myself from falling off the stool on which I was perched.

_"...I had brought home the wrong fishing line, so he whipped me with his fishing rod..."_

A single tear slid down my cheek, as I looked helplessly to my siblings. But they were each unresponsive, consumed in their own unique modes of listening while at the same time reflecting back to me similar looks of the helplessness I was feeling. My pulse pounded in my ears while a cold, hollow feeling expanded in my chest. How did she hide this? My anger turned quickly to those who were supposed to protect her. Where were the teachers? The neighbors? A stranger on the street? Anyone? And then as if a truckload of rock was dumped on my head, I realized that _I_ didn't see it either. Or at least I didn't see it enough. How could I have been so blind?

Pain exploded up my arm as my fist connected with the table. My face twisted in agony, but the pain in my hand did not exceed the pain in my chest, so I coiled my arm back to strike again. But the connection was never made. Instead I found myself face to face with Jasper as he held my throbbing arm.

"Edward, stop!" His grey eyes were intense, filled with equal parts rage and compassion. I just stared at him for a moment, my breathing rough and labored, before slowly closing my eyes and releasing the pooled moisture in them. Jasper continued to hold my arm, and assisted me to the floor as my strength vanished. Sitting against the wall, I rested my elbows on my bent knees and my forehead on my clenched fists. Jasper said no more, but sat beside me with his hand on my shoulder in a silent gesture of support, while Alice slid across the couch and tucked herself under Emmett's arm.

All of our attention was again purely on the voices in the intercom as the words we all dreaded began to flow.

_"...I left Alice and Edward at school and drove home to get everything ready for the poker party..."_

At the word party, her voice broke in a heartbreaking fashion and to my surprise a new voice spoke up.

_"...Why don't we stop for a minute and let Bella have a break?..." _

It was Dr. Masen. She asked a question, but her tone indicated that there was only one answer.

_"...Yes, why don't you take a break, Bella? We have a few questions for Dr. Cullen anyway..." _Agent Morrison wisely agreed.

Straining, I could hear Dr. Masen quietly speaking to Bella, but frustratingly could not hear her response. I heard Dr. Masen ask her if she as alright, and if she needed anything. Bella must've answered positively because the next thing I heard was Dr. Masen telling her how well she was doing before their conversation was drowned out by a much louder, and obviously closer to the intercom unit, side conversation between Agents Dwyer and Morrison, and my dad.

_"...Carlisle..." _Agent Dwyer began. _"...I understand that after Chief Swan stopped by your house and spoke to your wife the other day, that he approached you at the hospital, is that correct?..."_

_"...It is..." _

_"...Can you tell us about that conversation?..."_

_"...Chief Swan was upset that Bella wouldn't be home soon to help him with his party..." _

I could hear the disgust in his normally calm voice as he sneered the word, party. None of us knew what had happened after Chief Swan left the other day, and while I was still desperately concerned over Bella's condition, I couldn't help but be curious about what had transpired between my dad and the chief. We all listened closely as Dad continued.

_"...He insisted that I deliver her to him by that evening. I asked him what I could do to change his mind and allow her to stay on with us a while longer. He told me he would accept nothing less than twenty-five thousand dollars. He said if I paid him that, then she could stay with us until the new year, and then it would be five thousand dollars a month after that if we still wanted her. He said it was about time she repaid him somehow for all the trouble she caused him. I agreed to his terms, with full understanding that this was illegal. So what am I looking at?..."_

I swallowed nervously and looked at the wide eyes of my brothers and sisters. We had never even considered the possibility of dad getting into trouble with the law over this. No one was even breathing as we waited for Agent Dwyer's response.

_"... Yes, it was illegal, but considering the circumstances I doubt anyone would prosecute you. Besides, you weren't purchasing a girl for illicit reasons. On the other hand, I'm quite sure Chief Swan was trying to sell her for the exact things you are trying to protect her from, and that will definitely not go unnoticed. Thank you for your candor, Carlisle. And for what you have done to help my goddaughter..." _

There was pain in his voice as he offered this information for the first time, but that did not squelch the gasps of shock. My comprehension of the situation was still shallow, but this new information was beyond my ability to process. He was her godfather, and he left her at the hands of a sadistic prick and never checked on her. Who does that?

Nausea inducing thoughts of the now strongly disliked Agent Dwyer had to be pushed to the back of my mind as they prepared to resume Bella's interview. Simultaneously, Jasper's hand tightened on my shoulder as Emmett's arms tightened around the girls. Bella's voice was empty as she told of being sent up to her room to wait.

_"... and then I saw them in my room. They said they were there to give me my presents..."_

I felt Jasper's grip tighten to an almost painful level as I watched him and Emmett exchange looks of dawning comprehension, before each of their faces crumpled in pain and self-loathing.

"You couldn't have known." My voice was a strangled whisper, but I knew they heard me because the each glanced at me briefly before lowering their heads again in shameful defeat. I wished I could offer more to them, but I was just barely hanging on myself. The more we listened, the more puzzle pieces fell perfectly into place, creating a large picture of unimaginable horrors.

Alice and Rosalie sobbed on the shoulders of a now very pale Emmett, and Jasper clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils as his body shook in fury. I watched them, trying desperately to focus through the indescribable torment rolling through my body, as Bella began to describe being gang raped in her own bed. With perfect clarity, I could easily visualize each injury as she spoke of how she sustained it. The marks on her wrists from the restraints, the blows to her face, temporarily marring her beautiful features, the cracked ribs. One by one, like checklist, she offered the answer to the mystery behind each wound. Her voice, no longer empty, was now quivering and soft, and my heart shattered into a thousand pieces as I listened.

The heels of my hands dug into my eyes as my fingers clutched tightly into my hair, blinding me to the expressions of the others, but Rosalie's choked sob when Bella told of Officer Warner's assault with his nightstick was like ice on my spine. She told how her father had come in and lashed her seventeen times before stopping his torture only long enough to reveal he had known of her week spent in our home. I heard my mother gasp as I felt all blood drain from my head, leaving it bobbing around strangely. Raising my eyes, I locked on Alice's horror struck face.

"It was all our fault." She half whispered, half mouthed. My eyes rolled up and closed, clenching tightly as the truth of her words sunk in. It was our fault. We thought we had been so clever, and all we had really done is sign the warrant for Bella's torment. Before I knew what was really happening, I was on my feet and running for the sink. The remnants of my last meal made an encore as I retched violently into the basin. I heaved repeatedly, continuing even after I had nothing left to give. Slowly the spasm in my stomach eased and I rinsed my mouth out thoroughly before turning back towards the others. Little by little, I worked my way back towards my spot by the speaker, my grip on the counter the only thing keeping me upright.

We all breathed a collective sigh of relief when Bella made it to the point in the story when she met up with us in school, and the agents decided the story could be picked up by one, or all, of us. I slid to the floor next to where Alice had crawled into Jasper's lap, the shock of what I had heard making me numb. At least I thought I was numb, but as my twin slid under my arms and buried her face in my neck and wept, I broke. I wrapped my arms around her small body and let loose of everything I had been trying so hard to control.

I'm not sure how long we sat, consumed in our grief, before Jasper cleared his throat and spoke sympathetically. "Uh, Edward? I'm sorry man, but you might want to listen to this."

My head instantly shot up with my full attention to the box on the wall. I could hear Dr. Masen speaking.

_" ...This is very typical, you know that Carlisle. She's been through a very traumatic ordeal this past couple of hours, and now her mind is trying to protect itself. Each episode should get shorter and shorter as she heals. Um, Agent Dwyer? That's not a very good idea..."_

I could now hear Agent Dwyer speaking, but it was more distant and no longer held an official tone. For the first time in years, he was her godfather again.

_"...Bells? Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know...I..."_

Agent Dwyer's apology was abruptly cut off by Dr. Masen's frantic warning.

_"...No! Don't!..."_

There was suddenly a loud commotion, and I leapt to my feet as Bella's hysterical screams burst out of the wall.

_"...No! No! No! Don't touch me! Please! No! Not again! Edward! Edward, please help me!..." _

Running faster than I ever had before, I bolted up the stairs and pounded down the hall. Throwing the door to the office open, it took me less than a second to zero in on her. My chest stabbed with pain as I saw that she was backed into the corner by the couch, screaming and flailing her arms and legs. My mother and Dr. Masen were crouched in front of her attempting to calm her as my dad was pulling a syringe out of his bag. Agents dumb and dumber were just standing there looking lost and well, dumb.

Rushing over to Bella, I stepped past my mother and Dr. Masen and pulled her straight into my arms. She was still frenzied and unaware, and she continued to scream and hit me, frantically trying to escape the assailants in her mind.

"Bella, love, it's ok. It's me. It's Edward. You're safe now. I'm here." Her thrashing reduced to smaller, jerky movements that seemed almost involuntary, and though she never seemed to have full awareness, she relaxed into my arms a bit and began to sob. Great shudders ripped through her body as she poured her agony out. I held her tightly to my chest and rocked her, but with everyone in the room there was a near palpable stress. So carefully, I stood. And with the most precious cargo I could imagine, I walked out the door, leaving five very stunned adults in my wake.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! :)**


	26. Tattle Tail

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words, and brownie mix that's staring at me, begging to be brought to its full potential ;)**

**A/N: Thank you to my Beta, **_**timeaovergain**_**, for giving this the onceover. And huge thanks and mad love to my awesome pre-readers and hand holders, **_**CatMasters**_**, **_**Hev99**_**, and **_**Nostalgicmiss**_**. You are all rock stars!**

**Happy early birthday to Weezy (Nostalgicmiss)! This one's for you doll!**

***W*A*R*N*I*N*G* This chapter contains violence **

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Chapter 26: Tattle Tail

**EPOV**

Once outside the office, my siblings scrambled to get out of my way as I hurried past with Bella's limp form. They may have even tried to speak to me but my sole focus was on the girl I carried, and getting her as far removed from the nightmare she just endured as possible. As I entered her bedroom I could just start to hear the commotion start up down the hall, so I kicked the door shut to block it out. My girl had had more than enough for one day.

She clung to my neck as I sat on the edge of her bed, but it was an unnecessary gesture; there was no way I was letting go of her. She was trembling, and her eyes were glossy, as if she was a million miles away. How could he have been so stupid as to touch her, when she was obviously in no condition to even be talked to? My anger bubbled as I thought of what Agent Dwyer did. I mean, logically I guess I can see that he felt bad about what happened to her and wanted to offer his too little, too late apology, but that's no excuse. He must've been out sick the day they taught the how to deal with trauma victims class at the academy.

Bella stirred and whimpered; the sound of which was so heartbreaking that it was all I could do not to lose the strength in my limbs. After a moment, I recovered and began to hum her song as I held just a bit tighter and rocked her. She seemed so small curled in on herself as she was, and my chest swelled in determination to keep her safe, so much so that I think I actually growled a bit when I heard the light knock on the door. I glared at the doorknob as it slowly twisted and prepared to fight whoever it was if they thought they were going to come anywhere near Bella, but my jaw unclenched and the air in my lungs was expelled as Alice's face peeked around the door. Her look of concern was not surprising, but I couldn't quite figure out why she also looked apologetic.

"How is she?" she whispered. I didn't want to disturb Bella, and I'm not sure I had any words to offer anyway, so I simply shook my head.

Alice sighed as she eased herself all the way into the room before passing along my head shake to whoever was out in the hallway. I could hear muffled protests as she began to close the door, but she silenced them with a look before she clicked the door shut. Turning back to face us, she scooted over to the bed and climbed up so that she could gently rub the back of Bella's hands in an effort to get her to relax her grip a little. My sister has amazed me with her compassion many times over the years, but seeing her with Bella, being so tireless in her efforts and how gentle and patient she is with her has raised her to a whole new level of amazing in my book. But why did she still look guilty? Still not ready to speak, I raised my eyebrows at her in silent question. I knew she understood because she looked away, but not before I saw her face betray an even deeper level of guilt that I had previously imagined.

"Edward, I'm sorry." Her voice was so small, but I could almost feel her revving up for one of her famous one breath rants. "It's just that Mom and Dad know about the intercom, and it's all my fault. They were talking about what happened and asked how you knew to come in, and I said that we heard Bella screaming, completely forgetting about the whole dad's-office-is-sound-proof thing like an idiot, and they said 'How did you hear?' and I knew we were busted so I just admitted what we did. I'm really sorry."

I shook my head slightly to clear the slight dizziness that always comes with Alice's lightning fast word slinging. But after seeing how bad she felt I could no longer stay silent.

"It's not your fault Alice, don't feel bad. The intercom thing was my idea and I'll take full responsibility. Besides, it's not like we really could've kept it a secret. How mad are they?"

"Hard to tell. They're being pretty reserved right now, which means it could go either way. With any luck, they'll be so wiped out from this afternoon that they'll just let it slide."

I gave her a skeptical look before we both said, "Doubt it," at the same time, after which neither one of us could help the small smirk on our faces. But as Bella stirred again, any trace of humor, no matter how remote, left instantly, and for the first time since she came in the room I could see just how upset Alice was over what we heard today.

"Hey," I said softly. "You ok?"

"How can I be?" There was such deep sadness in her voice, accentuated by the lone tear that rolled silently down her cheek. I wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be fine, but was it? I wanted to believe that, but I also knew that the haunted look in Alice's eyes was merely a preview of what mine must look like.

We sat in silence for a long while as the last few hours washed over us, I'm not sure what it was like for Alice (though by the look on her face it was far from pleasant), but for me it was like being bathed in acid, eating me from the inside out until I was nothing but a hollow shell. It was all so overwhelming to think about that I had to concentrate on not thinking at all. And if it was this hard for me, how hard must it be for Bella?

I looked down at her. She trembled slightly from time to time, which was an improvement, but her face carried that same empty look she had after she had first come here. Glazed eyes, a perpetually furrowed brow, pursed lips as if they were on constant guard to encase a scream. I kissed her forehead and rubbed my thumb over her tense brow, but there was no relaxing where she was. I wasn't sure where her mind had taken her. All I knew was that it was far away from here and it was killing me that I couldn't go in after her.

I watched as her eyelids blinked slower and slower, until finally, they simply stayed shut. Her breathing evened out and with the exception of an odd twitch here and there, she seemed pretty well under. As per her usual though, even in sleep her brow never relaxed. I sighed. With her now resting, it was like someone pulled the plug on my power source and I could feel myself slowly shutting down as my adrenaline drained. Alice looked exhausted too, so I asked her to help me get Bella settled into bed before she fell asleep as well.

Getting Bella settled turned out to be harder than I thought; because even in sleep she wouldn't relax the death-grip she had on my shirt. Alice and I made several attempts to loosen her hands, but each resulted in Bella panicking in her sleep. Not wanting her to wake up, we finally waved the white flag and I laid down next to her. She was facing me and curled in, and Alice, who had stifled more yawns than I could count, nestled down so that she was back to back with Bella. I know she stayed because she couldn't bear to leave her friend, but right then all I could feel was grateful that she stayed for me. I was scared of what would happen when Bella woke up and so I really appreciated that Alice would still be there when it happened.

At some point, my mom peeked in. She raised her eyebrows at the sight of me in Bella's bed with her, but I just gestured to her iron clad grip on my shirt and shrugged. She simply nodded and left without a word. Confident that mom would pass the word along that Bella was resting as comfortable as possible, I allowed my eyes to close.

**BPOV**

I stood just inside the door of my house, but it felt different somehow. This wasn't the cold, cruel edifice of recent years; it felt more like the warm, inviting and safe home of my youth. Still, it was with cautious steps that I moved forward slowly as my nose was suddenly infiltrated with the unmistakable scent of my gran's famous oatmeal raisin cookies. Cinnamon and sugar danced and swirled, filling me with joyful memories of long afternoons baking with my mom... Mom! My pace quickened and my heart pounded as I made my way towards the kitchen, daring to believe for just a moment that a miracle had occurred. And when I rounded the corner I was not disappointed. It was her, standing in her purple apron adorned with smaller versions of my hands in yellow paint, casually dropping small heaps of mixture onto the waiting baking tray and chatting with...Esme? That's odd, but I don't really care. My _mom_ is here!

Wiping at my eyes to clear the annoying moisture that was obstructing my view, I took a step closer. Noticing my movement, she turned, her face breaking into the smile that lit my world for twelve years.

"Mom!" I cried as I ran the short distance between us and threw myself into her arms. Melting into her embrace, I could smell her floral perfume mixed with the cookies, and I began to sob. I never thought I would have this again. I instantly felt safe, and loved, as though the last five years didn't happen.

"Hey now, what's all this?" her voice soothed as she stroked my hair.

"I've missed you, mom," I whispered.

"Oh, sweetheart, I've missed you too."

I could've lived in her arms forever. I was completely lost in our euphoric reunion, so much so that it wasn't until I heard Esme say, "Don't worry, I've got it," that I even noticed the oven timer blaring its announcement that the next round of cookies was done. I looked up at my mom in confusion before she explained that she was teaching Esme how to make gran's cookies. I wanted to question why, but before I could, Emmett came crashing into the kitchen.

"I heard the timer, where are they?" he demanded. He had a wild sort of look in his eyes as he searched for his prey, and as he spotted the fresh tray of cookies I could swear he actually drooled a bit. I couldn't suppress my giggle at how ridiculous he looked, causing him to notice me for the first time.

"Oh hey, Bella! You know I love ya, but don't even think about getting between me and those sweet morsels of deliciousness."

"I wouldn't dream of it, big guy," I replied, holding my hands up in surrender.

"Don't worry squirt, I'll hide you some so you get more than the others," he said in hushed tones conspiratorially with a wink. "By the way, Eddie boy was lookin' for ya."

I looked at my mom with the frightened anxiety of a small child separating from her mother on the first day of school, and she chuckled.

"Honestly, Bella, what's gotten in to you? Go find Edward before Emmett eats all the cookies."

"Hey!" Emmett began to protest, before shrugging and nodding at the probable truth of the statement.

I didn't want to leave my mom for fear she would disappear, but as I looked back over my shoulder at her longingly, she just smiled and encouraged me to go to Edward.

"Go on sweetheart, I'll be right here. I'm always here."

Emmett rushed past me then, his arms curled protectively around a plate containing at least two dozen cookies on it.

"These are mine, suckers! Don't even think about touchin' em. Get your own!" he announced as he disappeared into the family room. Casting one more look at my mother, taking in the warmth she radiated, I saw her nod in encouragement. So with a deep breath, I turned and followed Emmett.

Walking into the family room, I was surprised to see it so full. Emmett was sitting next to Rose, who is probably the only person on who could've managed to get the cookie she was holding away from Emmett. He was stuffing his face with one hand and slapping away Jasper's hand with the other. Alice sat on the floor next to Jasper's feet flipping through a fashion magazine, completely disinterested in the football game on the TV. Carlisle stood in the corner talking animatedly with Dr. Masen about some new piece of equipment he'd finally secured for the hospital. But what surprised me most was seeing Phil on the other couch, cheering on his team with Marcus and Harry, the rest of Charlie's old squad. Even Agent Morrison was there, enjoying the jovial atmosphere. But even with all these people here, the only one I truly wanted wasn't among them.

"Has anyone seen Edward?" I threw out to anyone who would listen. It was Jasper who answered.

"He said he was goin' to check upstairs for you."

"Thanks," I offered as I headed back out of the room. My heart was joyful as I headed up the stairs. This was once again the house of my childhood, full of laughter and love. So lost was I in my thoughts of peace that I was taken completely off guard as I was grabbed from behind. All at once, one arm locked around my torso as a large hand clamped over my mouth. It took a moment for the shock to wear off before I began my futile struggle, as an all too familiar fear ripped through me. He was so strong, and as soon as I felt the badge digging into my back and smelled the stench of alcohol, I knew. Charlie.

I wanted to ask him why he was still so cruel when clearly mom was just downstairs, but I didn't get the chance as he pulled me into my room and pushed the door shut behind him. It was in that moment that my heart stopped beating. Edward was on his knees before me. One arm held by Alec, the other by Laurent. James paced behind him tapping his nightstick in his hand. It was once again covered in blood, but this time it was Edward's. He groaned in pain as James grabbed his hair and jerked his head up so he would look at me. When our eyes met, I could see nothing but fear. But it wasn't fear for himself, he was very clearly only afraid for me. This I know, because I was feeling the exact same thing.

"Look at her, Eddie," James hissed in his ear. "Your little girlfriend is nothing but my whore!"

Edward's face darkened with anger. His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared as blood ran freely from his nose and a gash above his left eye. I tried to shake my head, hoping he would understand that I wanted him to cooperate and not fight, but James continued to taunt him and I could see the rage growing within him.

"How does it feel, lover boy, to know you have my sloppy seconds? She was good lay though, I'll give her that." And then he bent down and whispered in Edward's ear, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "I love it when they fight."

Upon hearing those words Edward threw his head back into James' with a sickening crack. Blood began to pour from James' obviously broken nose. He growled in anger as he ordered the other two to hold him tighter as he began his assault with his nightstick. I began to scream into Charlie's hand, which only resulted in him twisting my arm painfully behind my back to the point that I thought it might break. But I didn't care. He could break my arm a hundred times if it meant James would stop hitting Edward. Every thwack of the rod was a dagger in my heart. Finally, mercifully, he stopped. Edward moaned in pain before coughing up a large amount of blood.

Tears rushed down my face as I once again struggled against Charlie's grip. They were all laughing now as they watched my desperate attempts to reach my love. Charlie's breath was suddenly hot on my neck as I heard him in my ear.

"Wanna see what happens when you tell?"

Then, to my absolute horror, Charlie nodded to James, who then removed his handgun from his holster and placed the muzzle on the back of Edward's head. Ice ran down my spine, as my eyes bugged out in terror. I was no longer struggling. I didn't want to give them any cause to do this, but it didn't matter. Edward raised his head just enough to give me a look full of love and remorse before I heard the shot. Warm liquid hit my face and body, and as I quickly registered that this was Edward's blood, I lost it. I screamed and flailed, but instead of just letting me go, Charlie shoved me down on top of Edward's now lifeless body. Clinging to him, grief poured over me like hot lava.

"You shouldn't have told anyone, Isabella. You have no one but yourself to blame," he said to me before turning to his men. "Finish them all."

The three others ran down the stairs. I was only confused for a moment before there was no room for misunderstanding. As the gunshots began to ring out, I felt the first lash of the belt land on my back as I lay over Edward's dead body. I screamed with my family until I was the only one left screaming.

But terror reached a whole new level as the intact half of Edward's head began speaking to me.

"Bella, wake up!"

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! :)**


	27. Inundation

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words and some very sore muscles. *whispers* The gym is a very cruel place developed by sadists. j/s lol ;)**

**A/N: Ok, on with the show…**

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Chapter 27: Inundation

**BPOV**

It had been four days since my interview with the FBI, three days since I had started eating again, two days since I'd overheard Alice's broken sobs out of misguided guilt, and one day since rain had started to fall. Wrapping the thick, soft blanket around my body, I pulled my knees up and leaned my head back against the cool window frame. The library in the Cullen's' house was comforting in its un-remittance. Tall dark wood shelves lined with all manner of books. Some old, some new, but all strong and silent; majestic in how they adorn the room with their air of quiet superiority. Confident in the stories they tell, and the knowledge that they hold. They don't change, or warp into something they are not. They can't turn on you or let you down; and you can trust them to always tell you the same thing every time.

I inhaled the rich combined scent of new and old books, wood, and the fresh flowers that brighten the desk with rich fall colors, and let out a sigh. Perched on the window seat, I watched the rain as it continued its deluge on the forest. The soft roar as it fell was soothing, despite the darkness that it brought as it blocked the sun and its warmth from my view. This was my new favorite spot. I could think here. Although, sometimes thinking was a bad idea.

Every night the nightmare comes for me again; over, and over, and over. Sometimes I'm made to watch my family die, and other times I can only hear the screaming until it thins into silence. But the one thing that never changes is that they never kill me too. They always just re-break me, and then leave me alone with the empty vessels of the ones I love. My eyes rolled closed and my body shuddered, as the chill of the most recent nightmare ran through my veins. That was the hardest part...shaking off the images of blood, and holes, and vacant eyes. If it didn't frighten me so, I think it would've made me angry. Didn't I have enough memories of real life nightmares? Did I really need it magnified and twisted into even worse things in my sleep?

Phil had returned the next day after the interview, but I couldn't bring myself to see him. It had been shocking at best, and confusing at the least to re-encounter this figure from my past. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and even though my memories of him were fond, I wasn't sure how that translated to what I felt today. Edward had told me that he had overheard his dad and Phil talking. Phil apparently expressed remorse over what happened to me, and even though he left because Charlie had become too intolerable to work with, he claimed he would never had done so if he thought I was being abused. It was as I mulled these words over that it hit me... Phil abandoned me. My eyes stung as I finally found the word to describe my feelings: abandoned. First my mom (it's irrational I know, but the feeling was still there), and then subsequently everyone I cared about, and who I thought cared about me too. But Phil, he was the one closest to my family. Was he too close? Could he not see because he was blinded by his feelings? I wanted to ask, but at the same time, I was afraid of the answer.

He had been kind, or at least professional, during my interview. At least I think he was, I don't really remember too much of it. I remember Esme; I think she held my hand. And I remember Dr. Masen. She stopped something and I felt grateful. I should probably ask her to clarify that the next time I see her. She had been by the house every day since the interview, speaking with different members of the family, and each day she came in and checked on me. I still felt uneasy about the whole therapy thing, but Dr. Masen doesn't push, and I like that. She mostly asks about things I'm interested in or dreams I have. I told her I don't have dreams, I have nightmares. Her mouth twisted and her eyebrows knitted together as she mentally filed that one away for what I'm sure is future discussion. Like I said, she doesn't push. I liked her more each time I saw her.

I pulled the blanket tighter around me. There was a draft by the window, causing a chill to run the length of my body, leaving goose bumps in its wake. The rain continued to fall and as my head rolled to the right, my breath fogged the window. I watched as the opaque splotch grew and shrank with each breath; my view being obscured and cleared again and again, just like my feelings for Edward.

I loved him dearly, but after my interview I couldn't look at him. He had heard. He knew everything. I didn't dare look at his face for fear of what I would find. Revulsion? Pity? Duty to stand by me even though I was dirty? But even though I couldn't bear to look at him, I still couldn't let go of him. He sat with me for hours, never speaking much, mostly just holding me and from time to time, he would hum my song. I soaked up as much as I could, because I was convinced that as soon as Edward had the chance to think about everything, he would realize that I wasn't good enough for him and he would leave me. I had to work to calm the flutters in my chest at the mere thought.

But it wasn't just Edward. I had a hard time looking at anyone the first couple of days, not even Alice who had already known most of it. I knew she was upset, and I tried to tell her nothing was her fault, but she wouldn't accept it. I wished she'd never heard what Charlie said to me. I should've realized what she would think and found a way to tell Phil and Agent Morrison later. But I didn't, and now I think I would've preferred the sting of the belt to the sting of knowing I had hurt my friend. That pain I know, it's familiar and I can handle it. But this pain... knowing my actions caused someone I love to grieve, is like a knife to the heart. An echo of my feelings from when I was twelve and Charlie told me I should've died instead of my mother for the first time. I still loved him then like I always had, and it crushed me that I had hurt him in this way. It grieves me still on some level, and it frightens me to think that Alice has any sort of similar feelings. Somehow, I needed to find a way to make her realize that nothing she ever did was hurtful to me. Quite the opposite, in fact. She saved me.

I startled slightly at the creek of the door opening. Edward stood in the doorway, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he let out what seemed to be a breath of relief. How long had I been in there anyway? I leaned forward and scooted a bit down the bench. My silent invitation was quickly accepted as Edward wordlessly slipped in behind me. His back now rested against the window sill and his right leg was propped up against the window. Scooting back, I leaned my back against his chest and sighed as his arms encircled me. He kissed the top of my head before resting his cheek there and joining me in taking in the show that Mother Nature was performing today.

**EPOV**

I closed my eyes for a moment and reveled in how perfectly Bella's body molded into mine, like a puzzle piece clicking into place. Her contented sigh as I pulled her into my embrace sent my heart racing with love and relief. When I couldn't find her in her room, I wasn't too concerned. But after checking with Alice, Rosalie, and my mom and no one having seen her, my fear increased and I began checking every room in the house. When I opened the library door and saw her, cocooned in a blanket on the window seat, it was like I forgot how to breathe. I was relieved to have found her, concerned over why she was here alone, but mostly I was once again blown away by her. As tiny as she seemed, huddled against the window, her strength and beauty filled the room with undeniable force.

She started when she heard me, but as soon as she looked up at me I could see her fear drain along with the air I had been unknowingly holding in my lungs. And now, as I sat with her in my arms, watching the rain, I thought about the fact that less than a half inch of fragile glass separated our peace from the raging storm outside. One small, well aimed rock, thrown with enough force, could shatter our shield and bring nature's fury into our sanctuary. As if she could read my thoughts, Bella shivered. I pulled her tighter to me and added one more vow to my increasing list. I would build her storm shutters, to protect her from those who would throw rocks.

Sitting here with her in silence, I began to understand what brought her here. It was quiet, peaceful, a decent place to sort through your thoughts. Small tremors ran through her with each strike of lightning and clap of thunder, but compared to the last few days, she was extremely calm.

I'm not sure how long I had been asleep after Alice and I had got her settled back in her room after her interview, but I will never forget how I was woken up. Bella had erupted with a scream of such agony that it felt as if death himself passed through me. Her body thrashed and contorted in odd ways, as her screams of terror filled the room. I did the only thing I could do to try and keep her from hurting herself; I held her tightly to me and begged her to wake up. Alice had run to find someone to help, but by the time she returned with our parents in tow Bella had been reduced to broken sobs as her mind was harrowed up in the torment of her experiences. I looked up helplessly at my parents and could see that they were at a loss as well. My dad simply pulled out his phone and hit a speed dial button. I heard his quiet greeting to Dr. Masen as he stepped out into the hall.

When Bella woke up fully, she was in a complete state of panic. Her hands flew to my head, feeling all over as her eyes searched my face with desperation. I asked, but she wouldn't tell me what she was looking for. She merely let out huge sigh of relief before breaking down again. When she finally calmed, I was disheartened to see that her eyes had returned to the same state of emptiness they carried when we first brought her here. I knew the interview was necessary, and the right thing to do, but it didn't stop me from feeling angry that she had to go through it. And it certainly didn't make me feel guilty for being "devious", as dad called it, when he and mom spoke to/lectured/chastised me over the whole intercom thing. But when my punishment turned out to be nothing more than being grounded to the house for a week, I knew they understood that the benefits outweighed the crime. After all, it's not like I was gonna go anywhere anyway. Still, I knew I had pushed my luck, so I decided to do my best to stay off their radar for a few days. That day had been hard enough on everyone.

It wasn't until the next day that Bella returned to us enough to begin eating again. Dad was ready with the IV, but oddly enough it was Rosalie that helped Bella to eat again. It was one of the strangest things I had ever seen. Rosalie walked in and took Bella's face in both her hands, forcing her to look her square in the eye and said, "Bella? Listen to me. You can't let them win. We can do this together, but you have to fight. Show me who you are." Bella closed her eyes as Rosalie let go of her face and sat down beside her. There was a moment, before anything happened and we all held our breath, but soon Bella opened her eyes again. They were distant and unfocused, but as a tear escaped down her cheek, her hand blindly searched for Rosalie's. Rose grabbed it up in both of hers and gently squeezed, which seemed to empower Bella to reach out with her other and bring a piece of toast to her mouth. It took over thirty minutes for Bella to eat one slice of toast, a few bites of fruit and drink some orange juice, but Rose sat with her, comforting her through every bite. When she had finished, Rosalie stood, kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "You did it. You can do anything," in her ear before walking out the door to a waiting Emmett. The barely audible sound of her muffled sob as they retreated to her room filled me with astonishing admiration for her. It wasn't until then that I realized how much effort it had taken for Rosalie to do that for Bella. I was beyond grateful that she would fight her own demons to help Bella with hers, but I was overcome with awe when she returned for every meal after that, and did it again.

Rosalie showed tremendous strength, as many of my other family members have. But everyone has their breaking point, and the day after Rose got Bella to eat again, Alice found hers...

_Dad had prescribed some light exercise for Bella to aid in her recovery. Currently, that meant walks around the house, including up and down the stairs. We were just finishing one such walk and passing Alice's room on the way to Bella's, when we heard Alice's muted wails through her door._

_"It's all my fault! If I hadn't convinced dad to keep her out of school..."_

_Without hesitation, Bella opened Alice's door fell to her knees, begging brokenly._

_"Please don't say that Alice. It's not your fault. You helped me. You helped me..."_

_Bella's words trailed off as a torrent of emotion overtook her. I stood stunned for a moment in a sea of weeping, before snapping out of it and heading for Bella. But I was cut off by Rosalie, who I hadn't even noticed had been sitting next to Alice._

_"Uh uh. I'll get this one, you get that one." She nodded her head towards Alice. "You're probably the only one she'll listen to at this point."_

_I watched Rosalie help Bella to her feet and lead her out, quietly stating affirmations to her as they went. "It's ok. Deep down, she doesn't really believe that. Try not to let it upset you. C'mon, let's go rest." Bella nodded and leaned into Rosalie for support. I watched them until they disappeared into Bella's room before closing the door and turning my attention to Alice. She was sitting on the floor by her bed, her thin arms wrapped tightly around her legs. She was such a small person anyway, but now she just seemed even smaller, and my heart broke for her as I took in the overwhelming despair on her face._

_I sat down next to her and immediately she crawled into my lap and buried her face in my shoulder. I held her quietly, allowing her to expel what she had obviously been building for quite some time. When she finally calmed from full blown sobs to shuddering breaths, I spoke softly._

_"C'mon now, mini me, tell me what's going on?"_

_"It's all...my...fault," she choked out as she struggled to get control of her breathing. _

_"No, Alice. The only person who gets blamed here is that psychopath she has for a father. He's insane. And he would twist anything for an excuse to hurt her. I understand how you feel, but we can't help her now if we can't see the real bad guy, right?"_

_Still too overcome, she nodded her acceptance of my statement (though I still questioned just how much she accepted), before renewing her distressed state. Obviously, this was long overdue._

A flash of lightning lit up the darkening library, but Bella lay still in my arms. Sometime during my mental wanderings, she fell asleep. Her nights have been so disturbed with nightmares that it was no wonder she seemed always on the edge of exhaustion. I sat, listening to the alternating rhythms of her breathing and the rain as it continued to wash over the earth. Someday this storm would end, and the sun would rise for us. Until then, I wanted her right here in my arms.

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**A/N: I know we were a bit (ok a lot) action free here, but I thought it would be good to see where our young couple's heads are at. Besides, I think they, and you guys too, deserve some lower angst level time to take a breath. Don't worry though my little angstaholics, it's never too far away. ;)**

**Thank you to my Beta,**_** timeaovergain**_**, for keeping me on the comma wagon, and being wicked fast! :) **

**Huge thank yous and tackle hugs to **_**CatMasters**_**,**_** Hev99**_**, and **_**Nostalgicmiss**_**, who pre-read and then get ladders and peel me off the ceiling. You ladies keep me sane and I love you for it!**

**I also want to give a shout out to one of my readers, **_**ethans mom**_**, for all the support she has offered. You rock girl!**

**Does anyone else hear the music? Ok, ok...I'll wrap it up! Sheesh! ;)**

**Last, but certainly not least, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all of you who read and to those of you that review! It's like getting little chocolate surprises and I love them all! :)**


	28. Belonging

**Disclaimer****: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own the rest of the words that I blasted out a very large writer's block.**

**A/N: **IMPORTANT** PLEASE read the A/N at the bottom. Thank you.**

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Chapter 28: Belonging

**EPOV**

On the day my grounding came to an end, I was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. Bella was still asleep and everyone except Alice had come down to grab their various meals before we headed off to school. It was still brutally hard to leave Bella everyday to join the masses of naive students who lived fairy tale lives where monsters don't exist. They had no idea that the evil of their nightmares lived right in their own backyards, and the sound of their inane chatter about parties, clothes, and the latest trend in anything was enough to make me want to scream. And to think that these pathetic little vermin had placed themselves as stronger and more important than Bella in the world of hormones and football scores was laughable. They didn't have a clue what was truly important or what true strength was. Bella had more strength in her little finger than the rest of the school's population combined.

"Yo, Ed," Emmett said while waving a hand in front of my face. "What'd that fork ever do to you?"

I blinked a couple times as I was brought out of my thoughts, and looked down to see my hand gripping my fork so tightly that all the tendons in my hand were visible. Sighing, I released the fork and flexed my hand a few times to get the blood flowing again. I waited for Emmett to make some sort of snide comment, but instead he just shook his head and returned to shoveling his food in. Rosalie was watching him with a sickened look on her face before she rolled her eyes and turned to me.

"Edward, I've been thinking... Seriously Emmett! You have teeth for a reason. Use them!"

"Sorry, babe," Emmett mumbled with his mouth full. Rose made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat before returning her attention to me.

"Anyway, as I was saying before being overcome by Emmett eating out of his trough, I've been thinking. And I think it's time to get Bella out of the house."

I just stared at here dumbly for a moment. "You mean like what? Taking her out for walks or something?"

"No, doofus. I mean like taking her out, out. You know, like_ out_? To dinner or a movie or something?"

"Like a date?"

"Who's going on a date?" Alice asked excitedly as she danced lightly across the kitchen to pop a bagel in the toaster.

"Well," Rosalie started as she got up to take her plate to the sink. "If we can reduce the density of Edward's skull, I'd like to think that all of us are."

"Oooh! That'd be awesome!" Alice exclaimed, kissing Jasper on the cheek as she passed him to get some juice.

"I'm just not sure that's such a good idea, Rose. I mean, I'm not sure Bella's up for it." I countered.

"Trust me, Edward. She needs this, whether she thinks she does or not. And quite honestly, we could all use the break."

I had to admit, the thought of taking Bella out was very appealing, but was she really ready? She still seemed so afraid of her own shadow, how would she handle being outside of the walls that had protected her these last few weeks? My brow furrowed as I tried to think through all the possible scenarios.

"I know that look, Edward." Rose's voice had a bit of an edge to it now, her patience already having been tested by Emmett's lack of table manners. "Stop over-thinking this. I know what I'm talking about, because I made this same mistake. The more she stays locked away in this house, the harder it's going to be to get her out. And I'm not talking about shoving her out the door by herself; I was thinking the six of us could go somewhere together. You know, safety in numbers and all that?"

"Yeah, but what about her dad and the rest of Forks' finest? Shouldn't we wait until they're all locked up?"

"You heard what Agent Dwyer told us," Rose said. "It's going to be at least another week, probably two, before the lab in Quantico can process the evidence. The arrest warrants won't be issued until then. If we're careful, there's no reason we can't go out. She needs this, Edward. Her anxiety about leaving the house will only increase the longer we wait."

"I understand where you're coming from, but I can't make this decision for her, Rose. However, I will ask her after school."

"Fair enough."

School was just as terrible as I thought it would be. The absurd blather that filled my ears all day was like a beetle burrowing into my brain. My only break was lunch, but even that was filled with Rosalie pestering me about how and when exactly I was going to talk to Bella about going out. My promise to talk to her about it as soon as we got home, and a much appreciated distraction from Emmett, finally afforded me a few minutes peace.

Mercifully, the final bell rung and released me from Penitentiary High, and after making my standard round to collect Bella's assignments I met my siblings in the parking lot. They all looked expectant, but wisely stayed quiet as we climbed in our cars and headed home.

The familiar ache of separation in my chest converted quickly to a pull of deep longing as I sped towards my love, and as I pulled up in front of the house I was nearly vibrating with anticipation. Rushing in, I found her curled up with a book on the couch in the movie room, and at the mere sight of her my whole body relaxed. Closing the book around her finger to hold her spot, she looked up and smiled a shy smile in silent greeting. One day her smile would not be so shy, but for now, I would take anything I could get.

"Hi," I said, crossing the room to sit beside her.

"Hi," she replied quietly, a slight blush to her cheeks.

"What are you reading?"

"Um, Romeo and Juliet. Isn't the essay due next week?"

"Actually," I started, but hesitated, unsure of how she would respond. "That essay was due two weeks ago. You're a little behind," I said a bit timidly before hurrying on. "But you can get caught up, no problem. Alice and I can help you."

"Oh," was all she said. I cautiously watched her as she sorted out what I had told her, and saw her start to slip into a disheartened state. Slowly, I placed my hand on her chin (she barely flinched anymore when I did that), and gently lifted her face until she looked at me.

"It's ok, Bella. We'll help you, and you'll be caught up in no time. I promise it's ok."

She took a deep breath and nodded minutely. I was about to respond, when a throat clearing in the other room told me someone seemed to think that it was time for me to ask Bella about going out. Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, and irritated that they were actually right about this being the perfect time since I had her full attention, I sighed and looked at Bella's now curious expression. Subtlety was not this family's strong suit.

"Bella, I...well, we actually, were wondering if maybe you would want to go out and do something fun tonight?"

I'm not sure what I was expecting her reaction to be, but it wasn't this. In a split second, her face turned ghostly white and she began to visibly tremble. My heart rate started to increase as I tried to quickly head off the on setting panic. Scooping her onto my lap, and wrapping my arms around her, I began to rock her while she clung to me with all her might.

"I can't...I'm sorry...I can't, I can't," she rambled.

At the sound of her distress, my loitering family began entering the room. Alice quickly joined us on the couch, rubbing Bella's back, as Rosalie strode over and knelt down in front of us. She reached for one of Bella's hands, coaxed it gently off of my shirt and held it in both of her own.

"Of course you can, sweetheart. You can do anything you want to," Rosalie declared fervently.

"No, you don't understand." Bella's small voice quivered with her body. "I'm not allowed. He'll know and... I can't. Not again."

Pain stabbed me through the heart as a rush of anger heated my face. How could I have been so stupid? Of all the different scenarios I had considered, not once did I think she would believe she still had to answer to her father. As soon as she said it though, it made perfect sense. Every time she'd gone anywhere with us before, she'd had the crap beaten out of her. Of course her mind would be conditioned to think it would happen again.

My first instinct was to gather her up, run for her room, and make her feel safe and protected by any means necessary. To tell her she never had to go anywhere if she didn't want to and that her miserable excuse for a father would never come near her again. But as much as my heart was screaming this to me, my mind knew that Rosalie was right. Bella needed to get out and start to function again. Her reaction proved it to me, and I was now determined to prove to her that she could go out, and come back, and am safe. But my fragile resolve nearly shattered as the diminutive whisper of, "Please don't make me," reached my ears. Closing my eyes, I took a few shallow breaths before opening my eyes and silently beseeching my brothers and sisters for help.

"Bella, listen to me," Rosalie said, stepping up to the plate. "I know this is scary, but I promise you won't get into trouble for going out with us. We'll go to Port Angeles. No one will see you there. We can go to a movie, or get ice cream or both if you want."

Emmett cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Uh, Bella?" At the sound of his voice, Bella lifted her head just enough to see him through her hair. "I swear that you will be safe. I will personally protect you from anyone. Biker dudes, skanks at school, and even your old man. He won't come anywhere near you with me around."

"That goes for me too, darlin'," Jasper added.

"And me," I whispered in her ear.

"We'll all be there, and we won't leave you for a second," Alice avowed.

"Do you promise?" Bella whispered so softly that I almost didn't catch it.

"We promise," Rosalie answered her, as she continued to hold her hand and look into her face. "We won't let anything bad happen to you. You can do this. I know you can."

Bella sniffed and let out a long breath before whispering, "Ok."

**BPOV**

Slowly dropping my robe, I gazed at my body in the bathroom mirror, inventorying the changes. I had gained a little weight, and my skin was nearly even in color all over. It was pale, but healthier looking, devoid of major bruising for the first time in years. My hand ghosted over my abdomen, my brow furrowing slightly as I took in the oddity of this new body. I twisted slightly. _Huh. No soreness. _From the front, with the exception of a few old scars, I actually looked pretty normal, whatever that means. At least that's what I thought before I noticed my eyes. They were dark, and hollow looking, almost zombie like. I've heard people say that the eyes where the window to the soul, and if that's so, then my soul looks as if it's been imprisoned. Turning slowly, I could see the markings that label me what I am, and what has bound and gagged my soul. New, bright pink angry lines crisscrossed old thin white ones creating a pictograph of terrifying memories. I turned back quickly, closing my eyes and taking a few calming breaths trying to keep the images at bay. My stomach churned and I had to fight for what was real. If Charlie was right, then all the Cullen's' efforts had been wasted on a worthless piece of trash. But if Edward was right, then against all odds I had some sort of value. I knew who I wanted to believe, but that still didn't make it easy. I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying to focus on Edward's face in my mind, imagining his arms around me, and took some deep breaths. Soon I began to feel a little calmer.

After a moment I slowly opened my eyes and leaned closer to examine my face. The small pink scar on my lip was the only real evidence of what had happened, and I didn't think it was very noticeable, which was good. I'm not sure why I agreed to go out tonight, but I knew I couldn't afford people noticing anything wrong with me. I had already broken Charlie's number one rule of keeping the secret when I told the Cullen's and the FBI, I couldn't afford for anyone else to be suspicious before Phil had his warrants. I know Edward and his brothers mean well, but they don't understand; if Charlie wants me, he will get me.

My face slowly faded away as the steam from the shower over powered the mirror, and as I stepped in the enclosure, warm water cascading over me, I felt as if I was washing away my emotions as well. It wasn't going to be bravery that would allow me to go out tonight, it was going to have to be numbness. Going through the motions, I showered, got dressed in the clothes that Alice had lain out, and dutifully sat while she and Rosalie dried and pulled my hair back in a simple headband. Thankfully, they skipped the make-up, deeming me perfectly suitable for a movie theater.

We walked downstairs and met the boys by the front door, Edward immediately coming to my side and snaking his arm around my waist.

"You look lovely," he whispered in my ear. "Everything's going to be great, you'll see."

"Now remember what I said," Carlisle spoke up to the group of us. "Straight to Port Angeles and back, no stops in Forks. Have fun, but try to keep a low profile."

A chorus of "Yes, Dad's" filled the entryway. I tried to convey my gratitude for Carlisle's instructions with a small smile; his returning sympathetic smile told me he understood and before I knew it I was wrapping my arms around him.

"Thank you," I whispered to him. "For everything."

"You're welcome, child," He replied quietly as he hugged me back gently and kissed the top of my head. Letting go of Carlisle, I hugged Esme next, who seemed to be fighting tears, before returning to Edward's arms and allowing him to lead me out the door.

My plan to stay numb wasn't working out so well as I felt the familiar flutters of panic in my chest as we drove through the gates of the Cullen's' estate. I felt exposed even though I was well insulated in Esme's SUV and surrounded by friends. Edward reached over, taking my hand and squeezing it in gentle reassurance. He had insisted on driving, claiming that everyone else lacked the appropriate skills necessary to maneuver the over-sized vehicle, but I knew the truth. Edward was nervous too, and driving helped to calm him.

The drive was tense and without much conversation until we had left Forks behind without incident. And then it seemed that every mile we put between us and the town increased the energy in the car until it was the same jovial group that I played games with a lifetime ago. The music played and laughter filled the car. They did their best to include me in all the conversations, but didn't seem put off by my silence, and even offered me warm smiles when I couldn't help but laugh a little at their antics. I still felt as though I was a little on the outside looking in, but for the first time since Edward had mentioned doing this, I wanted to be here too. It was dangerous yes, but also exciting, and I wanted nothing more than to be with this family.

I felt even more tension dissipate as we passed the "Welcome to Port Angeles" sign. And I even allowed myself to feel some anticipation at the evenings plans.

"What are you thinking about, beautiful?" Edwards asked as he pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"Um...Well, I guess I'm trying to remember the last time I've been to a movie theater," I began hesitantly. "I think it's been at least six years."

"Well, then it's long over-due," he said with a crooked grin before kissing my hand again.

I couldn't help but smile at his nonchalant response. I had been expecting some kind of reaction of disbelief, or inquiries that would have confirmed again how much I have missed of life. But he had no idea how his easy statement, like it was no big deal, freed me tonight. He didn't look at me like I was a freak or that I was something to be pitied. He looked at me like he expected me to be there, and that it was right that I was. And then it hit me, that's how they all looked at me. Not as an interloper, but a welcomed guest. Not as a burden to their lives, but a contributor to them. I still didn't quite see how this was possible, but tears stung my eyes as the truth of it clicked in place. The love I had for this family became magnified by my awe, and as one lone tear escaped I realized that I felt something that has eluded me for many years... I belonged.

* * *

**A/N: First of all, thank you so much for reading. Second, it is with deep regret that I tell you that I may no longer be able to stick to my posting schedule of every Friday. That writer's block that I mentioned at the top has been hanging around for the past several weeks and has ground my production to a slow crawl. I am still writing and I promise I will finish, I just can't promise to keep the updates as consistent as they have been, but I will do my best. Thank you for understanding.**

**Thank you to my Beta, **_**timeaovergain**_**, for always making me look good.**

**Huge thank yous to my girls **_**CatMasters**_**, **_**Hev99**_**, and **_**Nostalgicmiss**_** who are very much responsible for the fact that I have been able to post as much I have. Thanks ladies for keeping me reasonably sane. ;)**

**Thanks again for reading! I appreciate you all so much! :)**


	29. New Realities

**Disclaimer****: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of this twisted little tale.**

**A/N: So, so sorry for how long it's taken to get this chapter out. And I hope you don't mind, but it's coming to you unbeta'd because, well, you've waited long enough. **

* * *

Chapter 29: New Realities

**BPOV**

As we pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater, my chest started to tighten. The silly banter and distractions during the ride there had relaxed me to the point that I almost forgot what we were doing. My mouth became dry as I watched clusters of people seamlessly join and separate from a larger group entity at the front of the theater, like water droplets on a window as they link and then divide. In the short silence following the cutting of the engine, I worried that everyone would be able to hear how loud my heart was pounding. Maybe if they did, they would realize that this wasn't such a good idea after all, and we could go home.

A small squeak escaped my lips and I jumped in fear as my door was suddenly pulled open.

"Oh, love, I'm so sorry," Edward said apologetically with his hands raised in front of him. "I didn't mean to startle you."

I took a moment to compose myself before I could respond. "No, it's ok. It's my fault for not paying attention. I know better than that."

Edward regarded me carefully, and I watched as his expression darkened slightly before he turned to the others.

"Alice? Jasper? Would you mind going to get the tickets while I talk to Bella for a minute?"

"Sure thing. C'mon darlin'," Jasper replied as he threw his arm around Alice's shoulder and began leading her towards the box office. She threw a concerned look back over her shoulder, but at the slight nod from Edward she offered a half smile and leaned into Jasper, allowing him to take her away.

Edward and Rosalie exchanged a brief look before she took Emmett by the hand and lead him around to the back of the car to give us a little privacy. I was glad though, that they didn't go very far. I turned in my seat so that I was facing Edward but, a little embarrassed, I just couldn't seem to lift my eyes from my clasped hands resting in my lap. Strong, warm hands picked up my small, cold ones and held them with a comforting pressure.

"Hey," he said softly. "Look at me, please." He ducked his head lower trying to see my bowed face, but it wasn't until I raised my head just enough to meet him halfway that he smiled. "That's better."

I felt my face redden at his praise, and I tried to hide it again but his hand caught my chin and held it with light, yet firm pressure.

"Nope. You don't get away so easy." The smile in his voice matched the small one on his face instantly putting me more at ease. "Please tell me what you're thinking."

Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and furrowing my brow, I thought about what I should say. My mind swirled with so many things that I wasn't sure which one I should share. Glancing over my shoulder and out the back window of the car, I could see Rosalie and Emmett talking quietly to one another, sharing thoughts and feelings. Turning my head back and looking past Edward, I could see Alice and Jasper as they waited in line to buy the tickets. Even at this distance I could see them smiling and enjoying one another's company. I felt Edward squeeze my hand slightly as he waited patiently for my answer. With a deep breath and a sigh I released my lip and looked into his loving eyes.

"I want that," I said, gesturing to Rosalie and Emmett. "And that," I nodded towards Alice and Jasper. "I want that with you, but I am so scared." It was almost a whisper by the time I got it all out and I quickly dropped my gaze as my face heated in an all too familiar fashion.

Wordlessly, he helped me down from Esme's oversized vehicle so that I was standing in front of him, and pulled me to his chest. My nose burned and my eyes stung as I forced myself to believe this was real. He was warm, and strong, and I felt so safe as I pushed myself as close to him as I could. I could feel the contours of his chest beneath my cheek and hear his heart as it thrummed in a perfect pace.

After a moment, his head lowered, his breath hot on my neck, delivering and odd, yet pleasant sensation as he spoke softly in my ear. "You can have anything you want. I know you're scared, but I promise I will always be here for you. I love you, Bella. And that will never change."

"I love you too. I'm sorry I can't be better for you right now."

With that he let go, the immediate loss monumental, before his hands quickly cupped my face, his thumbs wiping at tears I didn't know were falling. His gaze was intense and I was shocked to see what appeared to be pain in his eyes before he closed them slowly and took a deep breath, before opening them again just as slowly.

"Bella, do you not understand what you mean to me? You're everything to me, and perfect exactly the way you are. I don't want you to be anything other than what you can be, and that will always be enough for me. You're the boss here. You call the shots at your pace. What we have is better than what everyone else has, because we have you. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. So I hope you like me, because I've decided that you're pretty stuck with me." The corner of his mouth drew up into an almost arrogant looking crooked grin to which I was powerless to resist smiling back as I shook my head in partial disbelief and partial relief.

"What I ever did to deserve you, I'll never know," I mused almost to myself.

"Hey, that's my line," he said sweetly before kissing me gently on the forehead. "Now, what do you say we go find out who won the opportunity to pick the movie?"

At the mention of the movie, I couldn't help but stiffen. Edward's brow immediately furrowed as he looked at me questioningly, obviously waiting for an explanation.

"It's just . . . there's a lot of people." I felt almost ashamed admitting it. Everyone was being so patient with me and I didn't want to cause them frustration. Edward's face relaxed and that cocky little grin reappeared.

"Don't worry about that. We have a plan," he said as he winked at me. "Shall we?"

It was my turn to look confused, but I did trust him, so I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, hoping it would fall down and fill the empty pit in my stomach, and allowed Edward to lead me forward. Their plan became pretty obvious very quickly as Rosalie came up and slipped her arm through mine, sandwiching me between her and Edward. Emmett fell in step just slightly behind Rosalie but mostly behind me, and as we approached the front of the theater, Alice and Jasper took the lead and walked just ahead of us. I was surrounded, but this time it was a wall of protection. To anyone who looked at us, we would just appear as a group of friends, but to me it was a shield and my heart nearly burst with love for this family.

Jasper held the door as we entered the theater and my senses immediately exploded as if I had suddenly come out of sensory deprivation. In a way, I guess I had. The smell of buttery popcorn filled my nose, as the dull roar of countless conversations mixed with the dings and silly music from the arcade games in the lobby. My eyes were wide with wonder, as a distant, almost dream-like memory of happier times, came to life in front of me.

Edward's grip tightened on me slightly as we approached the ticket-taker and he handed him both of our tickets. He looked to be about sixteen, with dark hair and eyes, and a fairly advanced case of acne. His eyes brightened a little when he looked at me, but Edward quickly maneuvered us so that he was between me and this boy, whose eyes widened slightly as they appraised Edward before darkening back to their previously dull state.

"Theater four, on your right," the boy, whose name-tag read Dan, said with bored tone.

"Thanks, man," Edward said briskly before leading me past the ropes and into the main lobby area.

Once everyone was successfully past Dan, I was encircled once more and ushered towards our destination. What only could be described at this point as my posse, wove through the crowd with all the synchronized precision of a well choreographed dance. But my fascination with what they were doing was rivaled by my enthrallment with the long, colorful rows of neon, the bustling concession counter, and the large poster displays and cardboard cut-outs advertising future films. I felt almost hypnotized by the lights and noise, recovering myself only when Emmett spoke.

"Hey, we just passed the theater," he announced.

"No, we didn't," Rosalie replied. "We're going to theater four, that was only two."

"But the digital signboard outside two clearly said it was showing that new action flick, _The Showdown._ Isn't that what we're seeing?" he asked, clearly confused.

"Sorry, dude," Jasper said sheepishly. "You know I can't say no to Alice." Alice stuck her tongue out at Emmett playfully before snuggling into Jasper's side. Jasper just looked at Emmett and shrugged before kissing Alice on top of the head.

"That's the last time we send Little Boy Whipped over here to do a man's job. OW!" Emmett mumbled before getting smacked in the back of the head by Rosalie. "Fine. What is it that I am _dee-lighted_ to see tonight?" he asked through gritted teeth and a fake smile, while rubbing the back of his head.

"What was that about someone being whipped?" Jasper teased a glaring Emmett, as everyone else laughed.

"It's Bella's night out, so it's girls' choice," Alice chimed in. "We're seeing the new rom/com, _The Silent Heart_."

I looked over to see Emmett's priceless expression of disbelief. "A chick flick?" he stammered. "They might as well call it _Honey, I Shrunk Emmett's Balls_!"

After that, I couldn't help but join in the laughter at poor Emmett's expense.

"Et tu, Bella?" He said to me in mock pain while pulling an imaginary dagger out of his chest, causing me to laugh even harder. I gasped for air, yet never felt more alive.

"Oh, c'mon, ya big lug," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "It's not like we're gonna watch it anyway." She raised one perfect eyebrow at him before dropping her voice a little lower. "And don't worry, I'll make sure your factory is producing at maximum capacity. No down-sizing for you."

Emmett's face slowly morphed from shock to a lust filled grin as he followed Rosalie straight through the door of theater number four, without one more word. Edward and I followed after, both of us chuckling and shaking our heads at the enormous puppy in front of us as he panted after Rose, while Jasper and Alice entered quietly behind us.

The theater was typical, I suppose. High backed red chairs staggered steeply up in stadium style, separated by armrests equipped with drink holders, and dimly lit by the rope-lighting on the stairs and several sconces on the padded acoustic walls. There was soft music playing and a slide show of trivia being shown on the screen as patrons filed in and selected their seats. Choosing a row near the back, we all began working our way across. The ripping sound of sticky shoes on cement increased as each of us in turn stepped in a patch of spilled soda that was never mopped up. I tensed for a moment as the thought of what such an infraction would have cost me in Charlie's house, and of course Edward noticed immediately.

"You okay, love?" he asked quietly so that only I would hear.

I thought about his question for a moment. Was I okay? But looking at him, and realizing where I was, a sensation of freedom came over me so strongly that my answering grin was unavoidable. I squeaked my sticky shoe purposely on the ground and smiled wider at the sound. Looking up at Edward's confused smile, I answered honestly. "Yes, Edward. Never better." His lips pressed gently to my forehead before we continued to our seats.

"Ew, gross!" Alice exclaimed behind me. "We need to tell someone to clean that up."

"No. Don't," I spun on her. "Please leave it."

Alice's eyebrows pinched in puzzlement, and I could feel everyone's curious stares on me.

"I'm sorry, I can't really explain it. But I really just need that to be left alone."

"Okay, Bella," Alice's tone was as if she was placating an upset child, but I didn't care as long as she did what I asked. "We'll leave it alone."

Unexplained relief washed through me as I thanked Alice and watched as she and Rosalie exchanged perplexed looks and shrugs. It was weird, on some level I felt like I had just rebelled somehow by refusing to have that spot cleaned. There was a certain level of giddiness, as my nerves calmed and adjusted to my new reality. I was tracking something sticky all over the floor, and I was going to walk out without fear of any sort of punishment for my crime. I felt lighter, and even happy, as I continued to smile after we took our seats.

The couples were all spaced out with a few seats in between. The armrests raised up, allowing me sit close to Edward without obstruction, and bright-eyed with new discovery, I soaked up everything I could about this experience, from the previews, to the sound system demonstration, to the feature film itself.

The theater was far from full, and I was only vaguely aware of Emmett and Rose slipping into the empty row behind us, while Alice and Jasper seemed to alternate their attention between the screen and each other. But even so, I felt that pang that I had felt in the parking lot earlier. I wanted what these other couple's had with Edward. I was nowhere near ready to do what they were doing, but hoped that someday I could. It was with that hope, that I found the courage to reach up and kiss him on the cheek, but just as I did so he turned to look at me and our lips met for the first time in weeks. The shock of it broke us quickly apart as we gazed at each other with wide, surprised eyes. But what was surprising me more, was that I didn't feel any fear. It was strange and confusing, but I watched his eyes grow even wider as I inexplicably leaned in to kiss him again. His lips were warm and soft as they moved hesitantly and gently against mine. My hand trembled as I lifted it slowly to his face, feeling along his strong jaw before sliding it back into his unruly hair. Only the slightest of pressure joined our lips, but the weight of the love conveyed was heavy.

Breaking off, I leaned my forehead against his and lost myself in his pools of green.

"Bella," he whispered almost reverently. "I love you."

Tears pricked my eyes, and my heart pounded as I felt the full truth for the first time.

"I know you do."

*0*0*0*

As the credits began to roll up the screen, Edward leaned over and asked me to stay seated for a moment. He wanted to wait until the other patrons gathered their things and left before we followed suit. Alice was chatting animatedly about the film to Jasper, who was simply smiling at her and playing with the short hair on the back of her neck, while Rose and Emmett, looking a little flushed even in this dim light, were working to correct their disheveled appearances.

When everyone else was gone, we exited the same way we came in. Once through the door of the theater, they all resumed their positions around me and ushered me back through the lobby and out to the car. Everyone was hungry, but realizing that there was quite a difference between a dark movie theater and a crowded restaurant as far as my nerves were concerned, it was decided to just pick up some pizzas and head back home. Emmett and Jasper volunteered for the task, and headed in to a local pizzeria. While we waited, I tried to pay attention to the conversation Rose and Alice were having, but couldn't seem to think straight once I felt Edward's warm hand encase mine, sending my heart racing for unfamiliar reasons. I looked up to find him staring at me with adoration in his eyes, and just the slightest hint of a grin. My face heated under his gaze, effectively disconnecting my brain from my mouth.

"Thank you for the movie," I said lamely, mentally rolling my eyes at how inept I am at this kind of thing.

"You're welcome, love. First of many, I hope," he replied sweetly as he lifted our joined hands to his mouth and kissed the back of mine. Odd heat radiated from where his lips touched my skin, up my arm, and spread slowly throughout my body, tingling and comforting me as it enveloped me. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but before I could make any sense of the chaos in my head, Emmett and Jasper emerged with several pizza boxes and two six-packs of soda.

The smell of gooey cheese and pepperoni permeated the car causing my stomach to growl in anticipation. I'd been so nervous about going out that I hadn't had much of an appetite earlier today and my body was registering its protest. I smiled a little at the thought that just a few weeks of regular meals could erase my body's conditioning to years of regular starvation. Was this what it felt like to heal?

The pizza box heated my lap as I held one for Edward and I to share. The conversation was light and fun as we made our way back home, relaxing me so much that it even overpowered the small tightening in my stomach when we passed the "Welcome to Forks" sign. Edward slowed and drove cautiously so as not to draw any attention to us, but remained casual and winked at me to let me know that everything was okay. And it really was. We were almost home and everything had gone perfectly. It was such an amazing night and I felt on top of the world.

Edward and Jasper had accepted Emmett's challenge to eat a whole pizza each, and I was enthralled with watching slice after slice disappear. I'd never seen anyone eat so much and I could tell Edward was getting quite full, but refusing to back down to his brothers, he requested yet another slice. Feeling giddy with freedom, and anticipation of our near completion of a successful outing, I couldn't help the fit of giggles at Edward's mini cursing tirade over the glop of pizza sauce running down his shirt as his sixth slice decided to not go down without a fight.

Scooping it off his shirt with his finger as we rolled to a stop at the town's only traffic light, he looked over at me with a wickedly playful gleam in his eye.

"Think that's funny, do ya Swan?"

I squealed and squirmed in my seatbelt, laughing hysterically as I tried to retreat away from his advancing sauce covered finger. Closing my eyes tight in expectation of a sauce attack, it took me a moment to realize that not only had it not come, but that Edward had become silent. Peeking cautiously up at him, fear instantly began to overtake me as I took in his posture. He was frozen in place, his sauce covered finger still hovering in the space between us, but his eyes were narrowed and zeroed in on something to our right. His expression was a mixture of fear and rage, causing my chest to bubble with shallow breaths and gripping anxiety.

Slowly, as if pulled by some unseen force, I followed his gaze to the police cruiser sitting in the turn lane of the cross traffic. My eyes widened, and dizziness swept through me, as they met the cold, steel eyes of James. Violent tremors ripped through me as ice spread through my veins. The cruel twist of his mouth as he winked at me, the only reminder I needed to know that I would never truly be free.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little nugget that I chipped off the writer's block. It may be slow going right now, but I promise I will NOT abandon this story. Thank you for sticking with me. You all are awesome!**

**Thank you to **_**CatMasters**_**, **_**Hev99**_**, and **_**Nostalgicmiss**_**. You ladies are amazing and I could not be more grateful to have you.**

**Special thanks to **_**ethans mom**_**. You know why.**


	30. Betrayed

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words, a snow shovel, and strong desire to be anywhere else, as long as it's warm.**

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Chapter 30: Betrayed

**EPOV**

"Edward?"

Jasper's voice sounded like it was coming through a long tunnel. Like a distant memory of sound that could not be focused on. I was transfixed on the sneer of the enemy, conscious only of him and the fear radiating off of Bella as she registered the presence of her tormentor. Reason no longer existed when he winked at her in arrogant supremacy, and my vision clouded with the red haze of rage. My nostrils flared as my hands reached for, and gripped the steering wheel so tightly they vibrated. Quick breaths flowed through me with determination while blood pounded in my ears. There was nothing else. Nothing but me, Bella, and him, locked in a dangerous dance that had too many scenarios.

"Edward. C'mon, man. Don't give him a reason." I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder, snapping me somewhat back to reality. "The light's green. Just drive."

Easing off the brake, we rolled through the intersection, slowly accelerating to just under the speed limit. Jasper was right, I couldn't give him a reason tonight. His time was coming, but my responsibility now was Bella.

After a few blocks it became apparent that he was not following us, so I pulled into the parking lot of the local grocery store, parked the car, and turned to see the sight that haunted my dreams… Bella had shut down again.

The air in the car hung thickly in silence as everyone's heads turned repeatedly between the street, each other, and Bella. Her eyes, a dark mocha in the shadow filled parking lot, were glazed over, her face frighteningly blank. She had crossed her arms tightly across her chest, accentuating her shallow breathing, the largest indicator of her true state of panic.

"Bella?" My quiet inquiry sliced through the silence as my hand lingered above her, unsure. "What should I do?" I asked, to no one in particular.

"Get her into the back, Edward." It was Jasper who, once again, spoke up, his voice authoritative yet compassionate. "I'll drive. We need to get her home ASAP."

In smooth movements, quicker than seemed possible, he was out of his door and opening mine, and suddenly I was filled with an uncontrollable desperation to have Bella in my arms. I scrambled out and rushed to her door, hating the distance that increased between us for those few seconds. Opening the car door as slowly as I could stand, so as not to alarm Bella, I nervously checked over my shoulder. I didn't trust that James wouldn't circle back, but I saw nothing but empty pavement and felt a cool breeze as it rattled the nearby shrubbery in an eerie fashion.

Turning my attention back to the car, I noticed that Alice had hopped up into the front, her small body fitting easily between the seats on the center console. Our eyes locked briefly in silent consultation while she whispered soothing things in Bella's ear, her tiny hand laying gently on Bella's arm in a comforting gesture. Slowly, I reached around Bella and pressed the button to release her seat belt. She startled slightly at the sudden release of pressure, but had no reaction as Alice untangled the seat belt from her crossed arms. Free of her restraint, Alice helped me maneuver her so that I could lift her more easily from the car.

Once fully in my arms, I could have sworn I felt her tension tight body relax ever so slightly, though she was still unresponsive. As quickly as I could, to minimize her exposure to both the cold and possible threats, I carefully slid into the backseat, pulling Bella in onto my lap with me. Alice slid lithely onto Bella's vacated seat, pulling the door closed before twisting back in her seat to check on her friend. With a quick nod to Jasper, he put the car back in gear and moved us unremarkably back out onto the street.

With concerned eyes that never left Bella, Alice spoke quietly into her phone, no doubt informing our parents as to what happened. Emmett's half sigh, half growl of frustration, floating forward from the seat behind mine, echoed my sentiments exactly. This wasn't fair. We were having so much fun. Bella's eyes had held more life in them than they had in probably years, and in one short moment, that monster sucked it all right back out - draining her and dumping her lifeless form for other beasts to prey upon.

I could feel the shock wearing off and anger beginning to flow through me, like molten lava surging for the surface. Vibrations rolled through my body, but I couldn't tell where they were coming from - the car, Bella, or me. The angel in my arms was so innocent, and yet had dealt with so much evil. Her pale face remained even and distant as we continued our journey home, with Jasper seemingly following every traffic law ever written. It frustrated me to be going so slow, but I understood exactly what he was doing as his words, "don't give him a reason," resonated through my mind.  
I was so lost in the sea of my swirling thoughts that I was surprised when Rosalie's face suddenly appeared over the back of the seat. She had been so quiet I had almost forgotten she was in the car. She slowly reached down and gently, but firmly, squeezed Bella's hand.

"Breathe through it, Bella. You've got this," she said, complete confidence coloring her tone as her eyes conveyed her message of camaraderie and understanding. "That's it," she encouraged, as one side of her mouth tugged up in a reassuring grin. I was about to ask her why on earth she was smiling, but following her gaze to Bella I could see exactly why. I watched, stunned, as Bella's eyebrows knitted together, and after a few long blinks, her eyes began to focus on Rosalie. She looked confused, but it was a big step from looking comatose, so I wasn't going to complain.

Her expression remained the same the rest of the way home. She seemed to be more cognizant, but still very distant and bewildered. The only change came when we finally arrived home and Rosalie tried to let go of her hand. Bella's frightened eyes widened and began to pool as a small, heartbreaking whimper escaped through her lips.

"It's okay, Bella. I'm not going anywhere. I just need to get out of the car so you can too, and then we can all get inside," Rosalie said soothingly. Reluctantly, Bella let go. Her body became tenser and her doe-like eyes tracked Rosalie's every movement until we were out of the car as well. As soon as I stood and adjusted Bella's weight in my arms so that I could easily carry her, her small hand reached out toward Rose, who took it quickly. The petite form in my arms relaxed a little and we headed towards the door, with Rosalie tethered to us. Alice had bounded ahead to open the door, while Jasper and Emmett returned Mom's car to the garage.

We barely made it halfway up the steps before Mom came rushing out. "Oh, Bella, sweetheart, are you okay?" When Bella made no effort to respond, she turned her worried face to me. "Edward, let's get her out of the cold and up to her room. I'll collect your father from his office. I've already sent Alice on ahead to get a bath ready."

Rosalie and I moved in tandem to maneuver through the door and up the stairs to Bella's room. Alice emerged from Bella's en suite as we entered the room, flittering over and removing Bella's shoes quickly as I sat down on the bed and cradled her in my lap. Rose sat down next to us, Bella's hand firmly in hers.

It was only a few moments before there was a light knock at the door and my parents made their way in. Dad had his bag and immediately began taking Bella's vitals and assessing her condition. He mumbled things like, "a little high, but not too bad," and "not as bad as before." I didn't really know what he was talking about, but at least nothing he said sounded too awful. After attempting to engage her a few times, Dad simply patted Bella gently on the shoulder and excused himself to put a call in to Dr. Masen.

"Okay," Mom said, as she let out a deep breath. "Now that that's done, I think a nice bath would be very relaxing."

I was thinking over everything my dad said and concentrating on Bella's steady breathing so much that I didn't notice the silence that fell over the room until Alice cleared her throat, and I looked up to see my mom and sisters looking at me pointedly. The dots were slow to connect for a few seconds, but it wasn't too long before the word _bath_ set off the appropriate bells in my head.

"Oh! Yes, of course," I stammered, turning slightly red faced as I moved to stand and deposit Bella onto the bed. Kissing her on the forehead and whispering to her that I would be just outside the door if she needed me, I turned to leave. Her eyebrows pulled together and a single tear rolled down her cheek as our contact was broken. My slight embarrassment and my mother's unspoken order were the only things making it possible to walk out of the room, even though my chest ached with actual pain to leave her. My steps were slow as I fought against the gravitational pull to Bella, and once I was out and the door clicked shut, I leaned against the wall to her room as if my back was magnetically attracted to it. Sliding down the wall until I was sat on the floor, I rested my elbows on my knees and cradled my head in my hands. Now that we were home and Bella was safe, the exhaustion hit me like a freight train.

"What's going on? Is she okay?" Emmett demanded, as he and Jasper made their way down the hall to me.

"I don't really know," I sighed, not bothering to raise my head. "Mom and the girls are helping her take a bath to try and relax her."

"Holy crap! That was intense," Emmett, master of the obvious, assessed, as he and Jasper plunked themselves down opposite me in the hallway. I wanted to roll my eyes at him and say something smart, but instead I found myself simply shrugging and nodding tiredly in agreement. He was right after all, it had been intense. And the stress of that intensity had all three of us too dumbfounded to speak any further.

The passing of time was only marked by the increasing numbness in my lower body. We continued to sit in the hallway for the duration, each keeping to his own thoughts, trying to figure out the true gravity of the situation. Not surprisingly, it was Emmett who was first to break the silence.

"You guys think that waste of skin is going to tell his pig of a boss and make him wanna come looking for her?" he asked, attempting to keep his voice down, but barely able to mask the anger.

"You really think he'll come after her? That he's that stupid?" I retorted.

"No. I think he's that insane."

"Is there really a difference?"

"Actually, yeah," Jasper spoke up for the first time. "If he was just stupid, he'd be careless. And he's anything but careless, or he wouldn't have got away with it for so long."

"Look, he's not coming after her, okay?" I could feel an instant frustration at their words that I couldn't fully understand. I mean, why should I be frustrated? I knew they were just exploring all the possibilities and that I should have been more open to that, but right then I just didn't want to imagine Bella in more danger. My mind was overloading with worry and I just couldn't handle any more tonight.

"You can't be sure of that," Emmett said, the natural loudness of his voice returning.

"_You_ can't be sure he's going to come after her!" I argued defensively.

"How can you be so sure he won't?" Jasper countered, slightly exasperated.

"He just won't. Okay?"

"Yeah, but how do you _know_?" It was Emmett this time, escalating the volume of our 'discussion' even more. I knew I was being stubborn, but I was not ready to accept that anything was going to happen before the FBI got around to doing their job. "I mean, c'mon, man, we need to be prepared for every possibility."

"No."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"I know you're being a jackass, but I don't know why you don't want to look at all the angles."

"Because it's not necessary."

"Oh come on, Edward!" Emmett tossed his hands in the air and began pacing back and forth, his own frustration very evident. "I don't get you, man. One minute you're ready to rip the guy's throat out, and now you're all, 'oh it's cool, he won't come, we're all safe and can go skipping through the woods, holding hands and singing songs from The Wizard of Oz.'"

"He won't come," I spit through my teeth, my anger reaching its boiling point.

"WHY?"

"No, Edward, don't!" Jasper jumped between us, eyes wide, his face full of alarm as if he could read my thoughts and was desperate to stop me from voicing them. But whatever he was trying to do was in vain, because the words were already flying out of my mouth, my self-control gone.

"BECAUSE THAT WORTHLESS SPERM DONOR SOLD HER TO US, THAT'S WHY!" I bellowed, before a broken sob rippled through my chest, reducing my voice to just above a whisper. "He sold his own daughter. He's not coming after her. He doesn't want her."

The audible gasp behind me warped all time into slow motion. Emmett and Jasper's agonized expressions blurred as I spun toward the sound and took in the scene before me. My mother stood with one hand on the handle of the now open door and the other over her mouth. Meeting my gaze from where she stood by Bella's bed, her mouth agape and eyes wide with distress, was Alice. My heart thumped rapidly in my chest and my stomach dropped as I slid my eyes down to where Bella sat on the bed, her knees pulled to her chest, her eyes burning with a devastated disbelief. Rosalie was sat next to her, and even though I could see her mouth moving, her focus on Bella, I could not hear anything beyond the pounding pulse in my ears, as my body moved forward into the room without my permission.

"Bella... I..." I couldn't speak. What could I say? I swore to myself I would never hurt her, and now I had exposed her to one of the largest things we were trying to protect her from. The look of pain on her face was _my_ doing, and it lanced through my heart with striking precision. I watched, helplessly, as the shock drained to desolation, before flashing briefly with something I had never seen before in her eyes... anger.

Like idiots, we all just stood there shifting glances at each other, desperate for a way out of the mess I had created. It surprised us all when Bella was the one to speak up.

"Please leave me alone." Her voice was small, but amazingly strong.

"Bella, I don't think that's a good-" Mom began, but was cut off by Bella's now even stronger voice.

"Please." Her request was more of a demand now as betrayal took up residence on her face. It was Rosalie's rare look of contrition as she stood to leave that made the connection for me. Bella did feel betrayed...by us.

Wordlessly, Alice and Rosalie walked toward the door, each passing me with vastly different expressions. Alice looked at me with worry and support, while Rosalie glared at me as if I was the biggest screw-up to ever walk the earth. And even though I appreciated Alice's attempt, this time I knew Rosalie was right. I did screw up. Big time. So with a heavy heart, I lowered my head and turned to leave.

"Edward?" Her voice had shrunk once more, but it stopped me in my tracks as I reached the door and turned back to face her.

"Why?" It was almost a whisper, but it sizzled in my ears like a fuse charging forward to detonate my guilt.

"I'm so sorry," I began to beg, as I moved back into her room. I couldn't speak before, and now I couldn't seem to stop. "I shouldn't have kept that from you, I know. But please, you have to know that we were only trying to protect you. Can you understand? Can you forgive me? Please, Bella. Tell me you can forgive me."

She stared at me for a moment, pained and confused. "No," she finally said, shaking her head slightly and sinking my heart, before her next words replaced one kind of despair with another. "Why did he do it?" The pain in her voice was palpable as she looked at me, desperate to find the one answer I could not provide.

"I don't know. I'm so sorry," I whispered back, my breathing thick in my attempt to stay in control of my rapidly changing emotions.

Our eyes stayed connected as we each struggled to find words for what we were feeling. But when she choked on a sob, her face shattering with harrowing pain, I closed the distance between us in two long strides and scooped her into my arms, embracing her on my lap.

"I thought... I mean, I hoped... How?" Her words caught in her mouth as if her thoughts were too rapid to verbalize. "Didn't he... I knew he was angry with me, but I thought... Somehow... Why did he stop loving me? What did I do?" Holding her tightly as her body shook and jerked with an onslaught of sobs, I felt my anger rising back to the surface.

"Nothing," I spoke with conviction, because this was one of the few things I knew for certain. "You didn't do a damn thing."

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**A/N: Yes, yes…I know it's hard to believe, but the internet rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Lol ;) Just think of me as the Little Engine That Could… I may be slow, but I'm getting there… **

**Huge thank you to my girls, Hev99 and Nostalgicmiss, who supported, encouraged, and weren't afraid to smack me upside the head when needed. I love you both MORE! ;)**

**And extra thanks to Hev99 for Beta'ing this chapter and making it look pretty! **

**Finally, thank you to you; for coming back and reading even after all this time. I love you all! :D **


	31. Perspective

**Disclaimer****: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest of the words, a stuffed frog and a plastic fork. Man I can't wait for summer! ;)**

**A/N: Hello, my lovelies! Long time, no see, I know! For that very purpose I shall shut up and let you read.**

**I just have to say that this chapter is dedicated to **_**ethans mom**_** with lots of love. Recover quickly, my friend!**

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Chapter 31: Perspective

**BPOV**

It felt like days since my world was once again turned upside down, but in reality it had only been the night before. Edward held me until I fell asleep, but when I woke up he was gone. He's such an internalizer, and I knew he felt bad about what happened, but it wasn't his fault. He wasn't the one who sold his teenage daughter to the highest bidder. No, that was Charlie. I used to wonder if he could sink any lower, but after the previous several weeks, I couldn't imagine what could possibly be any lower, nor did I want to. The encounter with James was almost child's play compared to the news of my enslavement, and I didn't even want to think about what would've happened to me if it hadn't been Carlisle on the other end of that transaction.

Alice had informed me when I woke up, that Edward had gone out with Carlisle to run some errands, and that she was to make sure that I didn't see it as anything other than him going out on errands. I guess my insecurities had garnered a bit of a reputation around here. It was actually quite amazing that I was able to sneak off out to the deck without anyone noticing. It was far from warm outside, but I was cocooned in a fluffy blanket and curled into one of the large, cushioned deck chairs. I felt safe in my hiding spot as I watched the clouds churn and threaten rain. I needed to think, and my room, and even the library felt too claustrophobic.

The crisp, fresh air felt like the first oxygen that had entered my lungs since we were sat at the traffic light the previous night. The trees at the forest's edge swayed in the gusty breeze, the rustling leaves mimicking the sound of ocean waves. Squirrels rushed to forage out the last of their winter stash, as the last remaining birds called to one another on the wind. It was so simple out there, and it was so _not_ simple in here. Human beings are capable of such kindness and love, yet also capable of atrocities so unspeakable the mind cannot comprehend it. I envied the squirrel as I watched it scurry and hop from branch to branch. He had no idea how free and easy his life was.

I sighed and mentally chastised myself for allowing my mind to wander to such ridiculous places. What was the point? I could wish I was a squirrel all day long and it still wouldn't change the fact that my father sold me. It hurt in a way I never thought possible. I knew I should've felt happy that I was out of that house, but for some irrational reason I still felt rejected by him. More so than by any other thing he'd done to me. Even when he allowed his officers to punish me by… even then, he kept me. He must've wanted me on some level. I just couldn't understand what I had done to make him want to send me away. I had tried so hard to please him. I followed his rules. I accepted his punishments. I did everything I could to make his life easier. Why?

On the outside, warm tears rolled silently down my chilled cheeks, as everything from anger to despair grappled for dominance on the inside. In the end, it all just exploded into a patchwork of confusion. I wanted to scream, cry, hit something, run, and be held all at the same time. But I was also stunned, so sitting there and quietly crying was the most I could manage.

I'm not sure how long I had been there before I heard the rhythmic thump, thump of a basketball being dribbled, the soft clang of the hoop as shots were attempted and missed, and the swoosh sound of the net as shots were successful. One pair of rubber soles scooted around the paved court, and after twisting slightly in my chair, I could see that it was Jasper who was taking advantage of the clouds' reluctance to release their pent up moisture. From where I was sat, I had a clear view of the hoop and could see most of the court, but I didn't know whether or not he would be able to see me.

I watched him with wonder. I knew that deep inside his heart, a darkness, not far from my own, brewed, but outwardly he appeared normal. He seemed as free as the squirrel as he shot the ball and ran about collecting his own rebounds. It gave me hope and overwhelmed me at the same time. Rosalie and Jasper were both proof that great tragedy could be overcome; I just wasn't sure how I was going to survive long enough to achieve what they had, or if it was even possible.

"Jasper!" Emmett's muted bellow suddenly erupted through the serene morning. It sounded as though he was behind the garage. I waited for Jasper's reply to identify his whereabouts, but instead he just tucked the ball under his arm and broke for the stairs that led up to the deck - the very deck that I was perched on, causing my heart rate to spike. I wasn't ready to see anyone yet. There was no way he could know I was there, so I hoped he would just head straight into the house. He took the stairs two at a time and when he hit the top step, to my astonishment and dismay, he headed right for me instead of going inside, his expression betraying no sign that he was surprised to see me there. Grinning and winking at me conspiratorially, he placed one finger to his lips to indicate I should remain quiet as he ducked down beside me. I was completely confused, but remained silent as Emmett came into view on the basketball court.

"Dammit Jasper, I know I heard you playing basketball!"

Jasper's hushed snicker was only loud enough for me to hear as we watched Emmett turn and head back the way he came, a very loud and disgruntled "GAH!" the only thing left in his wake. After a few seconds, time I could only assume was to make sure Emmett had actually gone, Jasper stood from his crouch and took the seat opposite me.

"Thanks for not giving me up, Bella," he said lightheartedly.

"Ummm… You're welcome?" It came out a question as my continuing confusion colored my tone.

Jasper laughed before he explained. "He's still sore that I've never given him the chance to get back at me for the whole crying thing over a week ago. I really wouldn't mind playing a game with him, but his buttons are so easy to push sometimes that I just can't help myself."

I just looked at him dazedly as he grinned cheekily and shrugged. Of all the things I had thought Jasper was, prankster and button pusher was never among them. But the glint in his eye was that of a carefree youth, not the angry turmoil that usually resided there, and I struggled to contain the small smile that wanted to escape.

"You weren't surprised to see me here." It was a statement rather than a question.

"Sorry, Bella… But did you honestly think you could escape Alice's all-knowing eye?"

"No, I guess not," I sighed. I wasn't sure how Alice did it, but I swear that girl just knew things. It was creepy and fascinating all at the same time.

"I was gonna ask you if you wanted to shoot some hoops; it's a pretty good stress reliever, but then I realized that you probably weren't too keen on getting injured again," he teased.

"Hey!" I tried to be offended, but the truth of it was too obvious, so I just sighed and nodded my surrender.

He chuckled once before his face sobered to the Jasper I've always known. "Seriously though, Bella… Sports are probably my best outlet for stress and frustration. What do you do… when it gets too much?"

His brow was furrowed in concern and genuine curiosity as his deep-brown, almost black eyes regarded me carefully. I'd never had a private conversation with Jasper before, but I was comfortable with him. Like Rosalie, our traumatic experiences bonded us in a strange way that most people would never understand.

"Uh, reading I guess. Getting lost in a good story has always helped me cope."

"Huh. Yeah, I can see that about you. I guess you didn't really have a lot of options though, eh? You can tell me shove it if I make you uncomfortable at all, by the way."

"No, no… you're fine. And you're right. I didn't have many options, and technically reading wasn't even one of them."

"Why, you rebel, you," he smirked playfully.

"Yep, that's me alright." I shrugged, and looked down at my hands. I appreciated what he was trying to do, but I didn't know how to joke about this. The pain was still too fresh.

"It's gonna be okay, you know," he said fervently. "I mean, I know it's far from okay now, and that it really sucks, but I promise, it'll be okay."

Tears welled in my eyes as my chest fluttered with overwhelmed emotion. All morning I had been asking myself one question- why? But looking at Jasper right then had me asking something else entirely.

"How?" I pleaded in a strangled whisper.

"You breathe and you move," he said with a shrug and small shake of his head. "I wish I could tell you there's some magic formula, but there just isn't. When I found out about my parents and about… Rose… I… those first few days… I felt like I was being suffocated. I was in shock and I was so angry I could barely function..." His voice trailed off and his eyes stormed as he was lost to thoughts of those horror filled days. It was painful to watch his struggle against the memories that brutalized his once innocent soul, as his darkened features reflected my own inner turmoil.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he offered with a quick shake of his head as he re-entered the present. He took a deep breath before he continued. "You know, there's gonna be days that it's all you can do just to get through it, and then there's gonna be days that aren't so bad. You just have to take what comes and keep moving forward. One minute at a time, and then an hour at a time, and before you know it… a day, a week, a month, a year… the important thing is that you don't give up."

"I don't want to give up, but some days are just so hard I…" It was my turn to trail off, overcome with emotion.

Jasper sighed deeply. "When I was at military school, once a semester we had to do a five mile hike. It was a beast under the best of conditions, but my third time out I wasn't sure I would survive. The few days prior it had been raining extremely hard which caused a normally shallow creek, that we crossed about a mile into our trek, to become quite swollen. Another cadet and I were ordered to wade across and attach a rope to a tree on the other side, so that everyone else could cross above the water. It wasn't the most necessary of exercises, but it wasn't uncommon for us to be given added tests along the way to assess our skill levels. The problem was that when I waded across the creek my boots filled with water, and within thirty minutes of the continuation of our journey I began to feel the first blisters forming on my feet. Just before the four mile marker I was on my hands and knees, vomiting from the pain. It felt like my feet were being skinned. We were on a rocky and precarious part of the trail. There was no jeep access, and because of the perilousness of the steep and uneven grade, a makeshift litter to carry me on was too dangerous as well. I was going to have to walk.

"My buddy, Peter, stuck with me and helped hold me up as much as he could, and the rest of my squad traded off supporting some of my weight, but I still had to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. I breathed, and I moved. My feet felt like they were on fire, but if I even dared to think that I should just lay down and give up, Peter would start talking about what he hoped was going to be on the chow tray, or asking me about what plans I had for when I saw Alice on the next school break. He helped me see enough of the future that I wanted to get there. And not only did I want to get there, but I wanted to get there on my own two feet. So much so that when we cleared the forest a quarter mile from our target point, I refused the waiting medical jeep and walked the rest of the way.

"I collapsed as I crossed the finish line, and was immediately swarmed by medical personnel. They removed my boots and I could see that my socks were covered in blood, but even as I watched them cut my socks off, I felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. I'll spare you the details of my mangled feet."

I nodded my gratitude and swallowed thickly as he continued.

"The point is, Bella, that even though I was in blinding pain, I just kept moving forward. Did I do it alone? No way. But I did it. I reached my goal with no regrets, because I gave it everything I had. What you're facing is not much different. You're wounded, but you can't be carried - only assisted as you make your way to your destination. You have a future, Bella. And it can be whatever you choose it to be if you will just grit your teeth and keep moving forward. No one would deny that you've been given one of the rawest deals ever in life, but it's not your past that defines you, it's what you make of your future."

Right on cue, Edward stepped through the door, and I looked up into the face of what I very much hoped was my future.

"Hey," he greeted me quietly, as his smile spread warmth through my body.

"Hey," I replied awkwardly.

"Hey, honey," Jasper said in a mock lady's voice, while he batted his long eyelashes at Edward.

"Shut up, Jasper!" I couldn't help but giggle at Edward's annoyance. He cocked an eyebrow playfully at me as Jasper snickered and winked, though I wasn't sure if it was directed at me or Edward. Behind Jasper I could see Emmett through the window of the house sneaking quietly towards the door. He caught my eye, his eyebrows waggling above his smirk, as he held his hands up like bear paws to show me what he was going to do. I tried to look as innocent as I could as he came bursting through the door.

"Gotcha!" he exclaimed, as Edward and Jasper both jumped.

"Geez, Em, what the hell are you doing?" Edward yelled while clutching his chest. "Bella's out here."

"Bella looks just fine to me, baby brother." His huge, cheesy grin made me choke to keep from laughing. "Seems to me, she's made of tougher stuff than you're giving her credit for," he added with sincerity, causing my cheeks to flame.

"You can say that again," Jasper quietly added. I lowered my head to hide the even deeper color that was rising to the surface.

"Seems to me, she's made of tougher stuff than you're giving her credit for." I could hear the smile in Emmett's voice and I peeked up to see his mischievous grin.

"You're such a dork, Emmett," Edward said, rolling his eyes.

"Takes one to know one."

"Seriously, Em?" Jasper's exasperated, yet amused tone had Emmett roaring with laughter.

"You gonna man up and play me, Jazzypoo? Or are you gonna hide all day like a girl? No offense, Bella."

I just held my hands up and shrugged to show him I wasn't offended as Jasper stood up mumbling something about all good things coming to an end. He walked over to the top of the stairs, called over his shoulder, "Alright, I'll play you. But when I win, you'd better not cry," and booked it down the stairs.

"Oh, you'd better run!" Emmett was off like a shot, chasing Jasper to the basketball court and securing him in a headlock. "Who's crying now?"

"I'm not crying," came Jasper's muffled protest. "My eyes are watering from your pit stink!"

Edward just shook his head and took a seat next to me. Jasper and Emmett carried on for a few more minutes before settling into an actual game of one on one. Emmett was bigger, but Jasper was more agile. They both could shoot well so it seemed a fairly even match. It was fascinating to watch them play like boys, when they each carried the weight of a man on their shoulders. I guess we'd all been forced to grow up too fast.

I leaned forward, allowing Edward to join me on the over-sized chair. He slid deftly in behind me and instantly secured me in his arms, something we both seemed to need. Jasper had given me a lot to think about. I would never be okay with what my father had done to me, but Jasper was right about needing to move forward. It wasn't going to be easy, but I had to. This family had proven to me that it _was_ possible; I just needed to figure out how to prove it to myself.

"Are you okay?" Edward's voice was soft and full of concern.

"Not really," I sighed, as I continued to watch the game below. "But maybe someday I will be."

* * *

**A/N: Massive thank yous to my girls, **_**Hev99**_**, **_**Nostalgicmiss**_**, and **_**CatMasters**_** for being my own little *cough* ok large, dose of Ativan. A greater team of pre-readers has yet to assemble! :)**

**Extra love to **_**Hev99**_** for using her Beta skills to wrestle semicolons away from me! This isn't over Bob! :P**

**And a HUGE thank you to all of you who are sticking with me through this painfully slow process! Believe me, I want it done too! ;) **

**I've signed up to submit either a one shot or outtake for Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness. This cause is near and dear to my heart, and when this opportunity presented itself I could not say no. I have an idea of what I want to do, but if you have any outtakes from TMM that you would like to see, I'd love to hear about it. This is a wonderful opportunity to help make a difference in the lives of others while also receiving new works from some of the fandom's most amazing authors (seriously, I don't know what I'm doing on a list with these incredibly talented people). For more information, please visit www(dot)fandom4ssa(dot)wordpress(dot)com :) **


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